Heartbroken - just need to talk

Frogletina

tayforth wrote: »

((((Hugs)))) Frogletina, and thank you for telling me that. I'm so sorry that you were let down. How long ago was this? How are you feeling now?

I think you may be right. Perhaps that's why I'm feeling so awful about this.

Thank you Tay


It's less than a month. I can sit on a bus and start crying - or wake up like I did today having been dreaming about him.


Writing helps me - we used to message each other daily and then he decided to stop - it's complicated. I haven't forgiven myself for allowing it to happen.


After the dream I wrote the following poem.


Last night I dreamt of you
and waking,
found it was not true

The silence rages

Trying to forget you is like
walking in the rain
and not getting wet

Morning wakes me

I love the moment
between sleep and awake
at dawn

I'm happy there

Suspended for a moment
in an incorrect
memory




I've sent him 3 emails without receiving a reply, I know I have to stop doing that.


(((hugs))) to you too x

FBaby

Being brutally honest, there are plenty of people who wouldn't even class something this short lived as a relationship at all, and I think its rare to be so devastated after only a few weeks. Would you ever have got so involved so quickly and been so overwhelmed by it all before you went through what you did with your horrible husband?

I can totally sympathise with falling in love very quickly....not every time a man showed me attention, but when I finally met someone who ticked all the boxes after having to disregard many. After only a few emails and having read my OH profile on the dating site, I wrote to my best friend that I'd met the man I would marry. Of course I didn't really know, but I had an extremely strong feeling because he seemed on paper everything I was looking for.

Meeting him confirmed it, I was in love by the end of our first meeting. Before meeting him, I dated a guy for a few months. It was ok, but nothing more than that. When I realised he was going off me, I wasn't much bothered, ego a bit sore, but nothing more and had forgotten all about him after a week or so. I would have been much much more hurt if my OH had not contacted me again after our first date because of what I saw as an opportunity for something great. And indeed, great it is!

It had nothing to do with a need to be loved or to love again, I was long pass my separation with my ex. It is just the way I am, rare or not!

CH27

tayforth wrote: »

Would I want to be with someone who's treated me this way? No.

Do I find it hard to let go of my feelings for him in spite of all this? Yes. For now, anyway. I admit that.




Thank you, Brighton belle, that's very kind. Yes, it's the deceit that hurts the most. That and the loss of something that seemed to be really amazing xxx



What is the 'something deeper'? I ask because I wonder the same myself. But I haven't been able to pinpoint anything.

How much was it amazing & how much was it you wanting it to be amazing after all you went through with your ex?

tayforth

FBaby wrote: »

I can totally sympathise with falling in love very quickly....not every time a man showed me attention, but when I finally met someone who ticked all the boxes after having to disregard many. After only a few emails and having read my OH profile on the dating site, I wrote to my best friend that I'd met the man I would marry. Of course I didn't really know, but I had an extremely strong feeling because he seemed on paper everything I was looking for.

Meeting him confirmed it, I was in love by the end of our first meeting. Before meeting him, I dated a guy for a few months. It was ok, but nothing more than that. When I realised he was going off me, I wasn't much bothered, ego a bit sore, but nothing more and had forgotten all about him after a week or so. I would have been much much more hurt if my OH had not contacted me again after our first date because of what I saw as an opportunity for something great. And indeed, great it is!

It had nothing to do with a need to be loved or to love again, I was long pass my separation with my ex. It is just the way I am, rare or not!

Thanks, FBaby.

I'm the same. I was happy on my own. I wasn't looking for anything serious at all when I met this guy. I'd been on other dates, and not felt any connection at all. This was different, and it was real, and he told me that it was real for him too.

CH27 wrote: »

How much was it amazing & how much was it you wanting it to be amazing after all you went through with your ex?

Please believe me, he really was so lovely to me. I had no reason at all to doubt his sincerity.

Person_one wrote: »

Is it still less than a year since you left your husband? I'd be incredibly surprised if that wasn't still affecting you and your response to this newer relationship. It was a hell of a thing to go through, before and after leaving.

Being brutally honest, there are plenty of people who wouldn't even class something this short lived as a relationship at all, and I think its rare to be so devastated after only a few weeks. Would you ever have got so involved so quickly and been so overwhelmed by it all before you went through what you did with your horrible husband?

Maybe it might not be a bad idea to reconsider counselling? If you didn't feel you got on with the one you saw before, try somebody else. There's a good directory of reputable ones here: http://www.itsgoodtotalk.org.uk/therapists/

It's been 13 months.

And yes, I think I would have fallen for this guy at any time. If anything, I was wary of getting involved with anyone else, hence going on several casual first dates and not wanting anything serious.

I will consider counselling. Thank you xx

tayforth

Frogletina wrote: »

Thank you Tay


It's less than a month. I can sit on a bus and start crying - or wake up like I did today having been dreaming about him.


Writing helps me - we used to message each other daily and then he decided to stop - it's complicated. I haven't forgiven myself for allowing it to happen.


After the dream I wrote the following poem.


Last night I dreamt of you
and waking,
found it was not true

The silence rages

Trying to forget you is like
walking in the rain
and not getting wet

Morning wakes me

I love the moment
between sleep and awake
at dawn

I'm happy there

Suspended for a moment
in an incorrect
memory




I've sent him 3 emails without receiving a reply, I know I have to stop doing that.


(((hugs))) to you too x

((((Frogletina)))). I know exactly how you feel, my heart goes out to you.

There hasn't been a morning yet when I haven't woken up thinking about him. I desperately hope that it will pass soon.

I will PM you xxx

moneysaymoneydo

My grandma used to say there is only 2 things you get from crying


red puffy eyes and a bubbly nose!

System

I've sent him 3 emails without receiving a reply, I know I have to stop doing that.

Yes you do. If he wants you, he only has to reply to one.

((((hugs))))

Mojisola

moneysaymoneydo wrote: »

My grandma used to say there is only 2 things you get from crying

red puffy eyes and a bubbly nose!

It's thought that crying can also help clear the body of toxins that build up when we're stressed so, if you feel the need, have a good cry.

trevorsminted

Fair point so why after Tayforth having cried several times she still feels like cr&p about the situation?!

Mojisola

trevorsminted wrote: »

Fair point so why after Tayforth having cried several times she still feels like cr&p about the situation?!

Crying doesn't make the situation any better but it can get rid of some of the toxins that result from you being upset.

I think that when you've come out of a relationship parts of your emotional self are very tender and so any new upset hurts much more than if would after you've time to heal just like when you've had an injury to your physical body and you get knocked on the same place again.