How do you cope when you can't move?

quantic

We bought in an area we didn't know and didn't particularly like first time round because at the time it just wasn't an option to do anything else. We found that you just have to put the idea of moving out of your head. Don't look at Rightmove etc, don't look at things you would like in your new house.

Also, I found that if I was genuinely making active progress towards achieving the move it made me feel better. Our friends who live in the same area want to move also but have not saved up or paid anything off so 5 years later they are in the same position.

Remember, everything passes so just make sure when time does go by you are actually changing as it does!

going_nowhere_fast

I have given up right move as of last night. Im going to concentrate on finishing the last room in this house to make it cosy seeing as im here for a while yet. Im then going to focus my attention and set goals for myself with regards to clearing my debt and then saving up. I will look and think of areas when im closer to being able to move.

going_nowhere_fast

quantic wrote: »

Remember, everything passes so just make sure when time does go by you are actually changing as it does!

What do you mean by this?

quantic

going_nowhere_fast wrote: »

What do you mean by this?

I mean that as long as you do what you need to do in order to move, the time you spend in your current location won't seem so bad. I've known people who have used situations like this as an excuse to "treat" themselves because they are down in the dumps about their situation but in the end it only prolongs it.

ognum

OP, it is important to live life to the full each day whatever your predicament.

There are many people who would think your life was a 'bed of clover', warm home, bed to sleep in, food to eat and a lovely daughter to be with.

remember this when you are feeling despondent and unhappy. Don't wait to live life tomorrow, life is now, get on with it, make the most of it, think about the future but don't only live for the future.

We can never guarantee life will get better, pick the good parts of what you have!

going_nowhere_fast

quantic wrote: »

I mean that as long as you do what you need to do in order to move, the time you spend in your current location won't seem so bad. I've known people who have used situations like this as an excuse to "treat" themselves because they are down in the dumps about their situation but in the end it only prolongs it.

I have done that so many times. Mainly spending money in days out to get away from the area for a bit. You are spot on saying it prolongs things. Thanks for the reminder.

going_nowhere_fast

ognum wrote: »

remember this when you are feeling despondent and unhappy. Don't wait to live life tomorrow, life is now, get on with it, make the most of it, think about the future but don't only live for the future.

We can never guarantee life will get better, pick the good parts of what you have!

Again, i know you are right too. I think ive put so much pressure on myself to make this move sooner rather than later because of changing schools and everyone says the older the child gets the harder it is. I need to just relax and think about all this when i am in a position to do something about it. Im going to try and start enjoying my home well as much as i can with the neighbours/neighbourhood.

going_nowhere_fast

It feels good to be making steps towards my goal. Gone are the days of spending money just to get out. I know its a long journey im on but it feels really good to be making positive steps forward. When im feeling irritated by the neighbours or area etc i remind myself im taking steps now to move somewhere nicer one day - whereas before my actions (spending!) were keeping me stuck here.

Ive also realised that my family who im desperate to be near dont phone me, dont see me on special occasions like christmas new year or birthdays and dont visit me, i always visit them so maybe deep down im hoping that moving closer will make them want more contact with me but lets be honest its unlikely! The only adult company or conversation i have is at work. Im craving the phone ringing by another adult just to say hello, just to care! I do have friends who i see but not every week and they dont phone much.

going_nowhere_fast

Feeling really anxious. Its nearly midnight and as usual none of my neighbours are showing signs of going to bed. What i wouldnt give for a silent peaceful house. Must try not to get worked up and upset - one day this place will be in the past and i will be living somewhere nice.

Deep breaths...

martin2345uk

did you manage to get some sleep GNF? Do you use earplugs? Sorry if that's already been asked and answered