How do you cope when you can't move?

enthusiasticsaver

I have just been reading your thread and feel for you and hope your situation improves soon. I think possibly it is that much more difficult for you as you have obviously lived in a nice area where people care about their homes and neighbours and are now having to cope with something quite alien.


You can give yourself a pat on the back though for making a nice home for your little boy, even though the rest of the area may be grotty and you are trying to do something to improve your lot. Presumably you have posted on the DF boards as everyone there seems really supportive and can give you some good ideas on reducing your debt. Focus on your end goal which is getting on top of your debt, selling your house and moving to a better area. Do lots of research on areas you would like to live and go there and wander around as much as possible to get a feel for where you would want to live.


It sounds like you do have some equity which is great so I am sure you will move on from here and into a better place. Your depression and tiredness from lack of sleep is obviously not helping you at the moment but there has been some good advice on here about playing music to help you relax and maybe going to the library with your son and reading story books there etc to escape the neighbours. As you say there is no quick fix but I do hope you find a way through this soon.

Hello123_2

going_nowhere_fast wrote: »

]I don't mean to be rude/blunt, but do you work? - yes I do


If not, perhaps getting a job/volunteering & being away from the house all day and in a routine would help things. - you clearly haven't read this thread so don't understand the problems


Try to cheer you surroundings up with some flowers & photos that make you smile. You can get cheap candles from the pound shop too.- flowers and photos will not help


Do you own your house, if so have you considered renting it out and you rent somewhere else in town? - of course I have, it is not an option for several reasons


Have you thought about talking to your Doctor about how you feel? - already done this


If it really is hell on earth and you really cannot stand it there then why not sell? Surely your happiness is worth more than money - I'd like to sell, where do you propose I get the money from to do that

There is no quick fix, I post because I feel alone in this situation and need a way to cope while I work towards selling up and moving.

If it is so bad just sell!!!!!!

dell12

Hello123 wrote: »

If it is so bad just sell!!!!!!

If you're going to bother to comment at least take the time to read some of the rest of the thread.

I'd be really interested in the vague area where to OP lives?

moneyistooshorttomention

I must admit to being puzzled as to why a poster is going "Just sell", as that's exactly what OP would clearly like to do and would if they could obviously.

If OP isn't selling right now then its because they cant afford to sell right now.

Buying and selling houses costs thousands of £s and if you haven't got it, then you haven't got it and have to wait until you do before you can manage to sell. For instance, I've recently sold one house and bought another that are both in the £150,000-£200,000 price bracket. Even at that cheap level of house, it cost me around £9,000 to cover all the costs of legal fees/estate agent fees/removal fees/etc. £9,000 is a noticeable amount of money to get together on a low income and takes quite some time to do.

That's before you add the fact that you're pretty lucky when buying an older house not to find there's something or other that needs doing downright urgently that you weren't aware of (eg the electrics needing modernising urgently in both houses I've had to date).

Don't worry about comments like that OP. I can never quite understand why some people seem to be so unaware of the "financial facts of life" that they make them. I used to get the same sort of comment often when it came to jobs, ie "If you don't like your job, then just swop to another one". The person would be implying that it would be so easy to get another equivalent one = low-paid office-based, but at least having flexitime/decent amount of holiday (taken when I decided it would be) and a retirement age matching my own personal retirement age (ie 60). I could (indeed did) argue for a while with people like that that the alternative wouldn't have been an equivalent job that I actually liked. The alternative would have been an even lower-paid job (ie NMW, rather than just over NMW), no pension, less holiday and maybe even antisocial hours. All well and good for them to argue with me I should just go and swop to another job, but In The Real World they were always super vague on the details as to just how they thought that might actually be possible and the most viable option/pretty much the only option on the table was to stay put and "wait it out till retirement", but I saw no reason not to admit I disliked it (because I did...in fact most of us did).

Hence, ignore that type of comment.

carefullycautious

Would the local council or a housing association buy it off you? I have heard of people selling this way.


Builders buy homes if you are thinking of buying a new build.


Renting it out?


Are you on your own with your son as sometimes anti social neighbours play on this knowing you have no back up.


I feel for you as I have experienced this and it can make you very ill, as you are constantly alert for when it is going to happen again.


As a last resort could you soundproof the wall attached to them where the worst noise is.


Do try ambient noise machines as you will tune into this noise and not the neighbours. I used to listen to the sound of waves on a beach and could get into a better deep sleep. CD player would do the job.

going_nowhere_fast

Well I'm still here. Still unhappy - drug dealing, loud late night parties, litter/fly tippingm , I won't go on...

Feels like I'll be here forever.

Making progress on the debts so definitely taking steps in the right direction to eventually being able to move but struggling to see the light at this very very long tunnel.

shouldiauctionit

You and me both, OP.

I'm beginning to feel severely depressed over my situation and I am desperate to move. I am happy to take as much of a financial hit as I can stand, even borrowing some money to get out quite honestly.

I've been told by an estate agent that he'd market the property for a couple of grand more than I bought it for but quite honestly the anxiety is just going to kill me, I'd rather take the hit and just leave.

How have you found this last year in the end?

going_nowhere_fast

Would you mind filling me in on your situ?

I've spent the last year watching the pennies and have seen the rewards because I've cleared a lot of debt (relative to my income) but still have a long way to go before I can even think of applying for a mortgage. My house has lost about £10k and that isn't counting what I've spent updating it.

Hedgehog99

A big thing to remember (but very little consolation, I agree) is that neighbours like yours don't give a stuff about you.

So turn it round and try not to let yourself give a stuff about them either.

I've had bad neighbours in the past and still have noisy ones, but not as noisy as before, so it was worth sticking it out.

Try not to let yourself get angry or upset because it's only you that loses out - they don't give a stuff, remember? Imagine writing their names or the problems they cause on a piece of paper, screwing it up & throwing it away. Sounds daft, but it helps me cope with the bad behaviour of others who are thoughtless rather than trying to do things to get at me (so much of today is me me me, they just don't think, and, somehow, they don't get upset by others doing the same either). Ditto with using the noise distractions others have suggested. I can never have silence in my house, but I can choose what I do hear with the help of TV / radio / mp3s and an electric fan.

Getting yourself into a better financial situation is a great incentive to work towards. Keep at it! If your neighbours move by the time you sell, you can even say you love living there.

nkkingston

I was about to say "this sounds a bit mad" but reading back through the thread I see it has come up before: egg box sound proofing. it's surprisingly effective, and you can put it up between bookshelves etc to fill in gaps (so you don't need to eat ridiculous amounts of eggs). Glue the egg boxes to big bits of cardboard so you can take it down before you move (because you will move, one day), but in the meantime you and the kiddo can have fun painting them and putting stickers on, pinning posters to them etc. Have a good messy day in the yard. And when you move, you can have a nice sound proofing bonfire i nthe back garden as a final "F*** you and Farewell!" to the neighbours!