How do you cope when you can't move?

martin2345uk

Tough day GNF...? Is it the weather? It does seem to bring out the inconsiderate side of some people.... loud music in the garden... not a fan myself!!

As you say, not forever - every time you go to bed, that's a day closer to the day you escape.

going_nowhere_fast

I like that - every night im going to remind myself of it.

I tend to go out most nice days because i dont enjoy sitting in my garden. Loud music, shouting, dogs barking - not relaxing to me, just annoying.

martin2345uk

That's a good idea; are there any parks near you where you could find a quiet corner to lie in and while away some hours? Young'uns might get bored of course...!

moneyistooshorttomention

martin2345uk wrote: »

That's a good idea; are there any parks near you where you could find a quiet corner to lie in and while away some hours? Young'uns might get bored of course...!

That sounds like a good idea to me.

So start working out what picnic lunches you could take with you/games for children to play/books for you to read. Maybe try and turn it into something "positive" (ie borrow plant and bird identification books from the library and try and teach the children about them).

going_nowhere_fast

We have picnics at the park, beach, museum every week. Im never without my cool bag, bottles of water, butties and snacks!! I enjoy it.

going_nowhere_fast

Feeling completely lost this evening. I know im not moving for some time but i want to know in my head where im going. I feel alone where i live now because ive no family or friends close by. I thought id made my mind up to move closer to people i know but nowi feel unsure. Id come to the conclusion that id be happier having friends and family close by, id be able to see people more, it would be quicker to get to work and halve my current travel expenses BUT two things make me doubt this would be the right thing to do. The area has changed since i lived there which means it doesnt feel 'like home'. Secondly its close to an ex partner who made my life a living hell. I thought i was ok but today driving round the area trying to picture myself living there and possibly bumping in to them one day i felt sick and started crying. Not a very good sign.

I really dont know what to do. I want to stay living away but it means everyone i know are living close to one another and im miles away. I cant imagine i will ever meet or trust a man again after having such a bad experience so im thinking when im an old lady living on my own surely it would be better to live near people i can spend time with.

I havent anyone i can talk to about this.

gallygirl

Sweetheart, like you said, you're not going anywhere yet. Concentrate on getting yourself in a good position so you can make your choice when the time is right.

oystercatcher

This is the time to research areas, no hard and fast decisions yet, just find out as much as you can and tick off good and bad things about areas. Then when the time is ready you will have all the information to make the right decision.

Areas will always be changing, keep watch and take note. Information will be power later. Go to places and look around, look on googlemaps and right move, find out what local council etc are planning. It's all relevant .

picket_fence

I understand why you want something to focus on and something to work towards. Instead of focusing on the place, I would suggest focusing on yourself. What can you do to make yourself happier, more confident etc? By focusing on what crafts/hobbies, careers or courses you want to do, where you want to live might reveal itself to you (hope that makes sense?!) Things might become clearer once you know what you want for yourself. I *know* this is easier said than done (especially as a mum), and is something I need to do myself. You've already come so far You've made so many people on here care for you, so I have no doubt you can do this in "real life" too. I hope what I've written makes sense. Chin up x

going_nowhere_fast

Thanks for your kind words.

To be honest with you a few years ago a was a very vulnerable, scared and lonely person. My relationship was a bullying one so i had no contact at all with friends and family. I kind of ran away to get out of the relationship hense living so far away from everyone and everything i was familiar with.

A few years down the line i am now very happy with my life (apart from where i live), i am managing my money better since discovering the msr forums and reading the debt free diaries, i like my job and have lovely colleagues, im back in touch with family and a couple of old friends, and have made a couple of new ones. Im now quite confident in my self apart from the fact that im very cuddly these days!!

So everything really is positive. As my child is getting older im aware there will come a day when they have their own life and it will be important then that i am in a position to have a social live.

Im never going to be rich or get married so my next move has to be to the right area and that makes me feel pressured.

If i was to follow my heart id live somewhere semi rural but if i was following my head id live near family in the middle of suburbia and sadly near my ex. It might be a good time to my ex has no contact with my child.

I thought it would be sensible to think about areas and at least identify the area i should aim for but may be i should forget all about it and instead focus on figures and watch the debt reduce.

Having a child i would be uprooting them so i want to make sure i get things right. Being a mum is hard when you know your decisions will affect their life.