i think my fiancee is cheating do i call the wedding off?

Meesha.P

i dont deserve this i never did any thing wrong i gave him every thing

Mojisola

Given the way you're feeling, it would be more sensible to leave now before he gets home.

hazyjo

Listen to fivetide and do NOT show how angry you are.

BE CALM.

I know it's nigh on impossible. I told my ex not to come round the day I found out he was cheating or I'd not be held responsible for my actions. The rest of the time, I was (mainly!) confident, cool, restrained and calm when I had to see him.

Pack him a bag of essentials. CALMLY. When he comes home, send him back out. Tell him you will arrange a mutually convenient time for him to collect the rest of his stuff.

Do you both rent the house or own?

DO NOT TAKE REVENGE. It might make you feel temporarily better - but I always remember the thing my mum said to me after the trauma I went through "I was so proud of you the way you dealt with that and held onto your dignity". I'm proud of myself for restraining myself.

I know it's hard. Just treat him like 'mess' on the bottom of your shoe. Any screaming and shouting will go AGAINST you. And, yes, as fivetide says, it will give him ammunition against you in front of all his friends and family. Let them see HE is the one who caused this.

Jx

fivetide

Meesha.P wrote: »

i have nothing to lose now i'v lost it all so i mite as well get some revenge on him for hurting me like this. let him feel my pain.

Rubbish! You've got your whole life in front of you without that ratbag.

At the end of the day, you know now and it isn't that you weren't good enough, it quite clearly the other way around. As much as it hurts, he wasn't and wouldn't be good enough for you.

Be strong, get some girlfriends together and it will get better. There are many other ways you should be able to stick it to him for this, investigate those.

(then sneakily kick him in the nuts when no-one is watching)

hazyjo

Meesha.P wrote: »

i will cut his !!!!!! off instead the !!!!!! deserves it. i'm not good enough for him now he could of just ended it and not let me find out like this and he bringed her to our home and all the time they were both just laughing at me by hiding there secret right in front of me.

From my experience, it is NEVER like that. Those cheating don't sit there laughing at the one they're cheating on. It might feel like they're laughing, but I promise you they're not.

Jx

fivetide

hazyjo wrote: »

"I was so proud of you the way you dealt with that and held onto your dignity". I'm proud of myself for restraining myself.

You should write this down. Superb comment and excellent advice.

Meesha.P

Mojisola wrote: »

Given the way you're feeling, it would be more sensible to leave now before he gets home.

no i want to see him lie to me then he has no escape from his cheating. he will say he has been at work and i no he was'nt.

Tiddlywinks

You've had a lucky escape... better to know he's a cheat now than in five years time when you could have been married to him and pregnant or with children.

I think you should leave now with your dignity before he gets home.

Nothing he says will make you feel any better - it may even make you feel worse to hear his excuses.

Take everything that's yours and go...

Mojisola

Meesha.P wrote: »

no i want to see him lie to me then he has no escape from his cheating. he will say he has been at work and i no he was'nt.

But if there's a chance that you will physically attack him, it's not worth it.

Meesha.P

i'm sorry i'm so worked up i'm struggling to read what you are saying i'm going to try calm down abit and get some air.