i think my fiancee is cheating do i call the wedding off?

Mojisola

Meesha.P wrote: »

i tried to think of any thing that went wring and theres nothing. we had a great relationship and never once argue. it just changed 5 weeks ago. i did'nt like him being close to this girl but was fine as he was the same with me. now he is diffrant and i think shes the problem but for now i have to trust his word until i know hes cheated.

If you asked him to reduce the amount of contact he has with her, would he do it?

If it came to 'me or her', who would he chose?

Optimusprime7

From experience, just sit him down and speak to him about you're concerns. Granted this behavior is odd but as someone mentioned earlier If he was having an affair I doubt it he would parade it about in front of your face.
Don't listen to the advise to start checking phone records etc. You will just make yourself feel worse even if you find something or not.
If you want to make this relationship/marriage work you have to speak him and show that this is really upsetting you. If he truly wants to marry you he will listen and explain what's going on. If he refuses to talk about it when he can see how this is affecting you then hes given you his answer.

FBaby

i spoken to him last night to ask why hes distant and he says he is just exsausted and stressed

From experience, this is always the answer of someone who doesn't want to say the truth. Is he really under that much stress? Is he really working that hard? Does his exhaustion only appears when it comes to showing you attention, or does it also affect him wanting to see other people, go out, shopping, playing sport etc... Has he ever had to work extra in previous years and was he acting the same way then?

I personally never trust the 'I'm just tired and stressed'. It might be true, but it isn't, it is the easiest thing to say.

marisco_2

Meesha.P wrote: »

i told him to tell her to back off and he wont do it. i sometimes feel he is closer to her than he is with me.

I wouldn't even consider marrying any man that made me feel that way. His refusal to back off from this woman, when he knows how uncomfortable you feel about the contact they have, is very disrespectful to you. He is putting what he shares with her before the stability of your relationship. That in itself doesn't bode well for you two having any kind of happy future together.

yvonne13_2

OP this ia a clear case of emotion first logic second. With logic comes imagination and that part always wins so fantasy prevails.

Do not go looking for evidence of cheating as you're not ready for the truth......If something is going on you will find out when the time is right.

marisco_2

yvonne13 wrote: »

Do not go looking for evidence of cheating as you're not ready for the truth......If something is going on you will find out when the time is right.

To take that approach though, means that the OP risks remaining in what could be a farce of a relationship, for way longer than she need do!

I don't believe in searching out evidence. A woman's instinct is normally accurate. I'd suggest talking it all out OP, laying your cards on the table about how all this is making you feel. If you cant speak openly and honestly over such a big issue as this, with the man that you are preparing to marry, then there really is no proper relationship.

yvonne13_2

marisco wrote: »

To take that approach though, means that the OP risks remaining in what could be a farce of a relationship, for way longer than she need do!

I don't believe in searching out evidence. A woman's instinct is normally accurate. I'd suggest talking it all out OP, laying your cards on the table about how all this is making you feel. If you cant speak openly and honestly over such a big issue as this, with the man that you are preparing to marry, then there really is no proper relationship.

The OP already asked and he said he was stressed ect I doubt her asking him the same question over and over is going to reveal anything, more so if he isn't cheating.

PeacefulWaters

yvonne13 wrote: »

OP this ia a clear case of emotion first logic second. With logic comes imagination and that part always wins so fantasy prevails.

Do not go looking for evidence of cheating as you're not ready for the truth......If something is going on you will find out when the time is right.

Sitting back and allowing an illicit relationship to develop and deepen isn't a good idea.

yvonne13_2

PeacefulWaters wrote: »

Sitting back and allowing an illicit relationship to develop and deepen isn't a good idea.

Illicit!!! What makes his friendship illicit? He may not be cheating but it seems most people on here are quick to say he is.

POPPYOSCAR

marisco wrote: »

To take that approach though, means that the OP risks remaining in what could be a farce of a relationship, for way longer than she need do!

I don't believe in searching out evidence. A woman's instinct is normally accurate. I'd suggest talking it all out OP, laying your cards on the table about how all this is making you feel. If you cant speak openly and honestly over such a big issue as this, with the man that you are preparing to marry, then there really is no proper relationship.

This is it in a nutshell for me.