i think my fiancee is cheating do i call the wedding off?

Carl31

19lottie82 wrote: »

Again, what about the bbm message?

I make my 4 year old daughter squeal when I tickle her

I certainly hope I'm not accused of anything untoward suggested there

19lottie82

Carl31 wrote: »

I make my 4 year old daughter squeal when I tickle her

I certainly hope I'm not accused of anything untoward suggested there

Of course not. But totally ridiculous comparison.

I imagine you would share a bed with your 4 year old and of course there would be nothing untowards going on.

So, would it be OK for the OPs OH to share a bed with this woman?

topdaddy_2

If your checking your partners bbm you shouldnt be marrying them. Regardless of anything else. If in doubt get it sorted before progressing.

jetplane

Yes men and women can be friends but the partner should still come first and if I felt uncomfortable with any of my husbands friends he would address the issue. OP you know your husband to be and you know that his behaviour is out of the ordinary. I understand your fear as he and this life is all you've known since you were 16. However if my husband spent OUR evenings out with someone else, didn't want sex and was showing lack of intimacy such as kissing and affection then I would be having a talk with him. How do you resolve other issues? Communication and trust in marriage is about more than fidelity.

C_Mababejive

susieq87 wrote: »

after 14 years thats easier said than done.

take hazyjo's advice and do your research. dont approach without evidence because he will deny it! no doubt about that

Tell me about it....but then one day nothing else matters and you just walk...and oh the relief...its like being underwater,struggling for breath,thinking your drowning and then suddenly breaking the surface and gasping in that air..

FBaby

I totally agree that men should be able to have female friends without being accused of having an affair when if it was a male, it wouldn't be an issue at all. I can also see how this could lead to emotional and physical wihdrawing.

However, when it is obvious that the female has an interest for the man, however flattering that might be, a real man would appreciate how uncomfortable that would be for his partner and do something about it. Why would a man want to be friend with someone who clearly is after more than friendship but for enjoying being desired despite being at the detriment of their partner?

jetplane

^^^ I totally agree, although if my husband had a friend who I had reason to feel uncomfortable with they wouldn't be coming into my home every morning, male or female.

yvonne13_2

OP I hope you're okay and have had time to sit down and think things through.
You know your partner inside out and you also know if you had a male co-worker coming into your home every morning he wouldn't like it. Even if nothing is going on with him and this woman he shouldn't be inviting her inside the home if you've voiced concerns, also he should be making sure she treats you with respect as you're his number 1 and all.

You are no way near ready to get married and should postpone it for a good few months until all this is sorted.. You have seen signs that something isn't right so you need to act accordingly. Cheating is cheating whether it's mental or physical so marry in haste does nothing and if he is cheating being married will not make a difference.

go_cat

Can you check this friends facebook page to see if there is any mention / photos of your fianc!?

Morglin

To be honest, if you feel you have to check up on your partner, the relationship is meaningless anyway.

I cannot understand all this checking - it's an invasion of his privacy!

If I felt I had to do that, or found my DH checking up on me, I would call it a day anyway.

His change in behaviour could be anything - pre wedding nerves, he has realised that you don't trust him, stress, or he could have feelings for this girl.

Either way, I would cancel the wedding, as marriages are hard enough, let alone one starting on this footing.

Lin