i think my fiancee is cheating do i call the wedding off?

Meesha.P

FBaby wrote: »

How is he in relation to the wedding? Is he bringing up the subject, taking initiatives with the plans, showing signs of excitment?

he did but every thing has changed for about 5 weeks. i'v not changed i'm the same as i'v always been with him but with me he is distant now. he used to give me a kiss when he came in from work but not now. no matter how playful i try be he just brushes me off. hes not the same and something has changed. we do not argue or had a fallout. the only thing i can think of is she has all his attention.

Meesha.P

susieq87 wrote: »

Not necessarily. I have gotten close to friends in a short time without sleeping with them. I'm not saying he's not cheating, I'm not saying he is either. Could he be getting cold feet?
To get facts you have to snoop, do you have unlimited access to his phone or does he hide it? Can you check his Facebook messages? Because she knows about you and they work together they will be craftier at hiding if there is something going on.
I wouldn't call of a wedding based on a feeling to be honest because what if you're wrong? You said in an earlier comment you feel that he is your soulmate, dyou wanna throw that way because of a feeling?
If he has never messed around before and he is now, if caught and confronted are you willing to forgive him? I know a lot of people might disagree with me but you've been together since you were 16 some people will feel like exploring to see what else is out there. Maybe that's how he's feeling?

i dont want to throw any thing away but if hes slept with her i'l never forgive him. i can access his phone but other than the squeal message there is nothing to concern me. his fb has a password and i dont know it. i have to go now tidy myself up he is back at 4.30 and i have mascara running down my cheeks and he'l no something is up if he sees i'v been crying.

CH27

Meesha.P wrote: »

he did but every thing has changed for about 5 weeks. i'v not changed i'm the same as i'v always been with him but with me he is distant now. he used to give me a kiss when he came in from work but not now. no matter how playful i try be he just brushes me off. hes not the same and something has changed. we do not argue or had a fallout. the only thing i can think of is she has all his attention.

Then I would postpone the wedding.
Gut instinct is usually spot on so I would be telling him you don't want to get married when he obviously has feelings for someone else.

hazyjo

Check his friends' photos on FB - especially if he went along to anything without you.

My ex once went to a bar which I googled and it showed an online CCTV. Yes, I did see him, and no nothing gave me cause for concern (there was a woman who he knew who was going who, like your OH's friend, totally ignored me but was all over him).

Is he secretive with his phone generally? Does he get a lot of messages? If never, check it's not on silent by finding an excuse to send him a funny text or link or whatever and see if his phone bleeps.

Follow him (in a friend's car if necessary. I have a pink smart so have no chance of following anyone lol).

Ring him more often. And ring a venue where he is with some supposed crisis - say you've been trying his mobile for an hour but it's just dead (lie).

Check bank statements, mobile statements, etc.

Has he been looking after himself more? Fitness, weight loss, hair products, smellies, new socks/pants, etc...

The evidence is always there somewhere. Go find it.

Jx

thorsoak

In my opinion, there is only one thing to do at the moment : confront him with your fears and see what he says - and at the same time, tell him that you want to postpone the wedding.

C_Mababejive

OP is it really worth the bother? bin him off and move on...

hazyjo

thorsoak wrote: »

In my opinion, there is only one thing to do at the moment : confront him with your fears and see what he says - and at the same time, tell him that you want to postpone the wedding.

I have never heard of anyone confessing - unless caught out (and even then, you wonder whether you're going mad when they're denying something when you have clear evidence in front of your eyes). Deny deny deny. That's the rule with affairs.

I would never voice my fears without proof first now.

Jx

susieq87

C_Mababejive wrote: »

OP is it really worth the bother? bin him off and move on...

after 14 years thats easier said than done.

take hazyjo's advice and do your research. dont approach without evidence because he will deny it! no doubt about that

Carl31

Surely, someone who's cheating is not going to bring their bit on the side to meet their other half and be so blatant. Anyway, sounds like they're just good friends to me, after all men and women can actually be friends without anything sexual happening

Chearing or not, you don't trust him, that's not good foundations for a new marriage

lucym

Meesha.P wrote: »

he did but every thing has changed for about 5 weeks. i'v not changed i'm the same as i'v always been with him but with me he is distant now. he used to give me a kiss when he came in from work but not now. no matter how playful i try be he just brushes me off. hes not the same and something has changed. we do not argue or had a fallout. the only thing i can think of is she has all his attention.

Considering his changed behaviour I would put the wedding on hold, whether he is having an affair or not.