i think my fiancee is cheating do i call the wedding off?

Netwizard

krustylouise wrote: »

Don't forget to clean the toilet with his toothbrush - I did this to my cheating ex and it was great watching him brush his teeth with it and even better seeing his face after I'd told him hahaha

I wouldn't bother lowering myself. I'd just throw him out, and keep smiling.

marisco_2

Netwizard wrote: »

I wouldn't bother lowering myself. I'd just throw him out, and keep smiling.

Spot on. OP you have actually had a very lucky escape from a guy who didn't deserve you, and would have made your life a misery. Far better to discover his true colours now than after getting hitched. The other woman will soon discover for herself that she is with no catch. Once a cheat, always a cheat.

FBaby

Meesha, I am so so sorry for what you must be going through right now. It must be so painful, it is just plain disgusting. Do express your anger if you feel you can't help not to, but DON'T do anything that will involve him calling the police because ultimately, that will be him holding something more against you, hence easing his guilt of being a complete !!!*hole and more stress for you to have to deal with.

Remember, he is about to loose you, that's enough for him to hurt over soon when he realise the big mistake he has made.

Hope you get some comfort from someone who cares for you tonight.

pinkshoes

Better get rehearsing the "How was your day dear?" line...

And THEN when he tells you about his day at work, you can mention you called work and it was his day off, and see what he says.

No matter how angry you are, let him have a chance to give his side of the story, even if it does turn out to be a lie. Ultimately, just incase their is a plausible story (doesn't sound like it), you don't want to go in full fire...

Why are YOU leaving? Why not kick him out?

Ozzuk

Be relieved, imagine you'd married this idiot. You've had a lucky escape, you'll be fine and awesome and better off without him.

Hugs, thinking of you.

susieq87

if there is anything i regret regarding the way i handled the situation with my ex is my reaction to it. i was angry and hurt and now know that i lacked self love. i did not take him back but i spewed abuse, called him all names under the sun and unfortunately shared a bed with him continously because thats the only way i knew to deal with my anger. i would get so mad at myself for allowing him to enjoy me but i kept going back and kept calling him horrible names. he had such a strong hold over me by manipulating me and tapping into my need of him because we had been together for so long i actually believed he loved me, was sorry and wanted to work things out.
in the end i had to STOP myself from talking to him whether it was abusing him verbally or seeking comfort.
moral of the story: whatever you are feeling right now ignore it and take the high road. in hindsight i wish i was stronger and i wish i just braved the pain because it does go. it doesnt last. i hate myself for it and am trying to forgive myself and trying to learn from it.
OP do not let him see you respect. i KNOW your pain right now, i went through it 2 months ago. it will pass. he does not deserve you and like my mother told me when i found out "good riddance" and "its his loss" it might not look like it now but it really is good riddance and its his loss.

tap into your inner strength, its in there.

Idiophreak

RuthnJasper wrote: »

Do you text your friends telling them "you love it when they make you squeal", then...? The OP knows what she's seen and I suspect she has witnessed enough in her OH's behaviour with this trollop today to confirm her suspicions.

Yeah, I'd probably say something like that to one of my mates, actually. Probably even with a winky face after it, too.

TBH I've learnt the hard way that no matter how innocent, you *have* to behave differently around people of the opposite sex, but everyone learns that lesson once.

Ivrytwr3 wrote: »

I guess they were playing cards or something together then. Definately nothing suspicious that a man is seen coming out a womans house when he has told his partner he is at work.

I didn't say it wasn't suspicious, just that there *could* be an innocent explanation. And, personally, I'd like to know that the OP *knows* there's something going on before advising her to throw her toys out of the pram, potentially ruin her relationship and effect the remainder of her child's life.

hazyjo

pinkshoes wrote: »

Better get rehearsing the "How was your day dear?" line...

And THEN when he tells you about his day at work, you can mention you called work and it was his day off, and see what he says.

No matter how angry you are, let him have a chance to give his side of the story, even if it does turn out to be a lie. Ultimately, just incase their is a plausible story (doesn't sound like it), you don't want to go in full fire...

Why are YOU leaving? Why not kick him out?

Excellent. Let him lie twice.

First off, exactly as pinkshoes says... ask him about work - let him lie. Then ask where he was - let him lie again.

Sorry for shouting, but DO NOT LET YOURSELF SCREAM AT HIM WHEN HE WALKS IN THE DOOR ABOUT HIM SLEEPING WITH THAT GIRL. Just give him the (proverbial!) spade and let him dig himself a bloody great big hole.

Jx

Ivrytwr3

Idiophreak wrote: »

Yeah, I'd probably say something like that to one of my mates, actually. Probably even with a winky face after it, too.

TBH I've learnt the hard way that no matter how innocent, you *have* to behave differently around people of the opposite sex, but everyone learns that lesson once.



I didn't say it wasn't suspicious, just that there *could* be an innocent explanation. And, personally, I'd like to know that the OP *knows* there's something going on before advising her to throw her toys out of the pram, potentially ruin her relationship and effect the remainder of her child's life.

The line was:

i found a saved message on his bbm from her and it says:

"i love it when you make me squeal."

marisco_2

hazyjo wrote: »

Excellent. Let him lie twice.

First off, exactly as pinkshoes says... ask him about work - let him lie. Then ask where he was - let him lie again.

Sorry for shouting, but DO NOT LET YOURSELF SCREAM AT HIM WHEN HE WALKS IN THE DOOR ABOUT HIM SLEEPING WITH THAT GIRL. Just give him the (proverbial!) spade and let him dig himself a bloody great big hole.

Jx

Personally I wouldn't put myself in a situation where a man who had betrayed me would also then get to lie to me as well. You know what he has done OP, you don't need further proof or clarification. My advice is that you leave him a note, saying that you know he has cheated on you, and that you two are over for good. Then walk out that door and go to your parents for some much needed love and support. Maintaining a dignified silence about all this, and only communicating with him from now on in relation to your daughter, is way more powerful than having the last word.

When he realises you know about his affair he will be expecting rants, raves, tears and fury. What will throw him is controlled composure and a 'I've seen through you, am walking away, and have no feelings toward you any more' approach.