i think my fiancee is cheating do i call the wedding off?

gik

I feel I've stumbled on an alternate universe...good luck guys.

Meesha.P

thank you all for the supportive message it has given me some comfort. i never got to see him lie to me my mum come round after picking my daughter up from nursery and stopped me burning his clothes. we went back to her house but left a note for him saying we know all about his cheating. its now 2:34 in the morning and hes not called or text. i keep waking and checking my phone and no word. i dont know what i did wrong for him to hate me this much to hurt me like this. i never changed. she just must be better than me for him to through away his family like this.

PeacefulWaters

i dont know what i did wrong for him to hate me this much

You didn't do anything wrong. When it comes to wrongdoing it's not about you. It's about him.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Focus on you. Focus on your child.

Avoid drinking, gambling, smoking, drugs, coffee and anything else addictive. Drink lots of water.

Make a point of eating well (avoid crisps, biscuits, chocolates and sugars).

Go for a walk each day - minimum 30 minutes. If you're a member of a gym, use it. Keep talking to Mum. Mums are great. If you have access to counselling services via employer or GP, use those services. If you're a spiritual soul go to church.

Let the emotion pour out on here if it helps. Or just type it into a word document and save it if you don't want to share.

Don't make any irreversible decisions today. Your decision making processes won't be at their best. Don't sleep with anybody else in the short term.

Your mind will wander off in directions that will make you think "what if I'd done this?" or "why didn't I spot it / intervene sooner?". This is normal. You'll be trying to work it all through in your head. You will eventually be able to get to the answer which I've summarised below.

He's a selfish man who has displayed low standards for his own gratification. Nothing more. Nothing less. His failings. Not yours.

Nothing but time will cure your hurt. Please do the positive things I've posted above. Please avoid the vices too. You won't be able to see it now, but you will have a better life for this.

There's a lot to look forward to.

millysg1

Im sending hugs your way Meesha.

sadandlonely

Sending hugs meesha, for you and your little girl x

pinkshoes

Sending you hugs...

You need to go home, pack HIS bags, and throw HIM out.

tayforth

I'm so sorry that this has happened to you, Meesha. It must be very painful. Cheating is the lowest of the low.

I know it doesn't feel like it at the minute, but you're well rid and you've had a lucky escape. I promise.

Sending hugs to you and your daughter xx

Jvic28

Hi,

Just catching up after starting reading this last night.

So sorry to hear your news. I have been in a very similar situation and know exactly what you're feeling right now.

I think the fact he hasn't called shows that you're best rid. If even just a small part of him wanted to reconcile he would have been straight on the phone.

I put up with the crap for 7 months that I knew about (probably went on longer though) and wish I hadn't bothered. You've been stronger than I was by walking. I'm not going to lie, it won't be easy. There are still days I cry about it (this happened in 2011) but it does get easier.....and we will be happy again won't we! With someone who really loves us....who is really a soulmate.

Big hugs from me and remember you can always come here if you need to rant.

x

sax11

I like the way some of these topics go

The guy cheats and the spurned posts and it's claws out, revenge, burn his stuff, make him suffer, ruin his life.
A woman cheats and the spurned posts and it's 'poor guy' not to worry, things get better.

Like a coffee morning with claws.

Jvic28

I for one would not condone making him suffer. I have always tried to take the higher ground (with a little slip hear and there but nothing to major) especially as we have a child together. It also makes me feel somewhat better always being the better person, what goes around comes around an all that. I'll leave it to the new girlfriend to give him all the grief when he cheats on her too.

Although I would have wanted to see his face OP, but it probably would have just caused more grief than was needed.