12yr old & social media help

Indie_Kid

mutley74 wrote: »

I give him £5pw pocket money, decide to still give him it even when he is bad, otherwise he goes out all day and wont event buy lunch. he does get pocket money bonus if he helps, but typical he refuses to do any help.

I don't understand why you give him pocket money even when he's being naughty?

freebiequennie

Haven't read whole thread but my friends have been known to bring children tablets/mobiles n even the router to work with them as punishment to teens aged 13-17!!!

ciderwithrosie_2

For your sake, grow a spine fast! The boy is 12, He's not even a teenager yet!! Been through the teenage years with 3 boys and you have to stand your ground and do what you say, but pick your battles. Some things you have to let go. There doesn't seem to be much fun going on - we found we could usually find some common ground laughing at a comedian or something.


I'd have the phone, tablet and whatever else off him and say sorry, until you can show some maturity in using them you're not having any of it.


He should be helping around the house without being paid for it too - you're a family and so what if he doesn't have any money to buy lunch, whose fault will it be?? He's not going to die of starvation. Consequences have to be realised here.


Don't get into arguments/negotiations about it, just state what's going to happen and keep repeating until he gets the message e.g. you can have your phone back until bedtime when you've washed up/taken the dog out/hoovered.


Oh and he wouldn't be going out with his mates for the day, he'd be up in his room tidying and see how boring that is.

Just_a_Girl_2

Reading this thread I just assumed you were his mum, not his father!

He clearly does not respect you nor does he fear your threats as there are never any repercussions. He's not even into his teens yet and if things are not nipped in the bud now, he'll be unmanageable in a few years.

If he were mine, both phone and tablet would be confiscated indefinitely until he can earn back my trust.

I remember reading about a woman who removed her son's bedroom door as a form of punishment after everything else failed and the lack of privacy finally made him start to respect his parents' rules.

Errata

I didn't realise the OP was a man either. A man who lets a 12 year old boy bully him can look forward to very miserable life until the youth leaves home.

mutley74

Errata wrote: »

I didn't realise the OP was a man either. A man who lets a 12 year old boy bully him can look forward to very miserable life until the youth leaves home.

does it make a difference if am the mum or father?


yes I guess you could be right a 12yr old growing into a yob could be a bully for the next few years.....trying to be calm and consistent and explain reasons but he does not get it all
BTW I still got his stuff confiscated

Carmina-Piranha_2

I asked my son about this just now and he says that although he might feel really angry and want to run off out for the day, he either wouldn't do it or wouldn't do it more than once because he knows that he'd never get the wifi back ... and that's AT ALL for 24 hours after he had stopped misbehaving, not just between the agreed times.

Mine will starve and go thirsty all day and it won't bother him - it bothers me because it really affects his mood!