First few dates etiquette

aileth

Thanks for your input all.

I'm not surprised she's struggling and really don't envy being in the 'courting' stage! Seems a huge minefield with lots of varied opinions.

For anyone interested she told him to stuff it and didn't go.

shell1999

aileth wrote: »

Thanks for your input all.

I'm not surprised she's struggling and really don't envy being in the 'courting' stage! Seems a huge minefield with lots of varied opinions.

For anyone interested she told him to stuff it and didn't go.

Well done to your sister and I'm sure she will meet someone who is a gentleman .

Top_Girl

From a slightly different POV, the man I am currently dating understands we are in very different places financially and I simply can't afford to take him out, so to speak.

So if we do make the decision to go out for a meal or to the cinema or whatever, he will pay for the main initial expense, I'll pay for a couple of rounds of drinks after and we consider us even.

Gavin83

Surely it's common sense whoever asks for the date should be paying for it, or alternatively it should be split.

Are those who insist the man should pay of the belief that the man should always do the asking as well?

The idea that the woman would ask a man out on a date and then expect him to pay for the whole thing is insane.

MrsE_2

Top_Girl wrote: »

From a slightly different POV, the man I am currently dating understands we are in very different places financially and I simply can't afford to take him out, so to speak.

So if we do make the decision to go out for a meal or to the cinema or whatever, he will pay for the main initial expense, I'll pay for a couple of rounds of drinks after and we consider us even.

Seems the sensible option :-)

FBaby

aileth wrote: »

For anyone interested she told him to stuff it and didn't go.

Good for her! My experience is that if you are having the slightest doubt around potential issues to do with money management, emotional baggage, children etc..., don't go any further.

[Deleted User]

My first date recently was meeting for a coffee. When the bill came I had to give my date £1.75 (his request) to pay my share. I had been prepared to pay the whole bill but he picked it up first. I didn't see him again!!

Starrystarrynight

It must've taken some courage for your sister to admit to a relatively new partner about being a bit strapped for cash, and all he's done is make her feel uncomfortable. Equality and chivalry aside, that's just plain bad manners. I think she should find someone who treats her better than this oaf.

MrsE_2

Its really difficult now isn't it.
No one knows what era of rules the other works from!
I guess if us ladies just offer to go dutch & pay ours or half, then the man refuses or accepts.
Then everyone is happy.

74jax

Gavin83 wrote: »

Surely it's common sense whoever asks for the date should be paying for it, or alternatively it should be split.

Are those who insist the man should pay of the belief that the man should always do the asking as well?

The idea that the woman would ask a man out on a date and then expect him to pay for the whole thing is insane.

That is how I have worked in the past . With hubby I asked him out on our first date and paid, he then paid the next one and from then on it was who ever asked, also the person who asked picked what we did etc, so do you want to come go karting/cinema/wine tasting not do you want to come out but I don't know what .

Even now when married, when we go out its whoever asks, so I might text and say fancy a show tonight etc and if book and pay. We don't have joint accounts though, otherwise I guess it wouldn't matter who paid.