First few dates etiquette

74jax

daisiegg wrote: »

We still call them 'dates' and think it is very important so, if we decide to go to the cinema because we both fancy seeing a film and it is raining, or if we can't be bothered to cook so pop out for a curry - that is not a date. But if we plan a special meal out, both have it in our diaries, dress up for it, get taxis so we can both drink (well not now while I am pregnant) - or plan a night at the theatre - or decide to try out a bar in London one of us has read about - that is definitely a date

I'm with you. We definitely date. I love it. I love being treated and treating him too. When he says I've booked something special for us I'm like a teenager again.

And.......... Your Pregnant!!!!!! Congratulations 😃

persa

I expect a man to ask me out and pay for the first date. I'm very modern in every other aspect of my life other than that.

If I know I don't want a second date, I will however insist on going dutch. Not fair for him to pay if there's absolutely no future in it. I would consider it very bad manners to let someone pay for you if it was clear there would be no further dates.

For all subsequent dates, happy to go dutch. I hate it when people try to add up individual costs and pay their own share (even though I'm normally the one who is worse off for an even split).

I wouldn't see someone again who was being tight. I have no objections to whipping out a voucher or discount card, that's just getting value for money, but counting the pennies (i.e. making sure you put in 70p more to make it 'fair') implies he doesn't think you're worth much (I am careful with my finances, but I will always treat a friend or relative, even if I refuse to treat myself), he's secretly in debt (solvency is a deal breaker for me) or he doesn't earn enough to keep up (I find men who earn less than the woman tend to have some kind of complex, which always comes out at some point).

OP, I think your sister made the right decision. If you have a bad feeling about someone so early on, why let things continue? Always trust your instinct!

SailorSam

Missu wrote: »

My first date recently was meeting for a coffee. When the bill came I had to give my date £1.75 (his request) to pay my share. I had been prepared to pay the whole bill but he picked it up first. I didn't see him again!!

And i thought i was tight, i'd never dream of asking for £1.75

marisco_2

SailorSam wrote: »

And i thought i was tight, i'd never dream of asking for £1.75

That is exactly what I was thinking too when I read that post. I would have said 'Hey drinks on me' and then left a bit of a tip on top as well. Some folk are tighter than a ducks butt aren't they :rotfl:

Indie_Kid

SailorSam wrote: »

And i thought i was tight, i'd never dream of asking for £1.75

Agreed. If one persons meal was more expensive than the other, (I'm not talking about a few pounds here) then I do think they should pay regardless of gender. Asking for £1.75 is a bit tight. But if they haven't got quite enough money, I'd be ok topping it up.

I really don't like this idea of me being female means the man has to pay. As nice as it is for someone to pay for me, it shouldn't be expected on the basis of gender.

System

I always went halves on dates, I don't see why one person should pay for everything, puts you on an unequal footing at the start

That said I never really had that many dates, they always ended up relationships rather quickly

SailorSam

Ladies. Do you feel sometimes, especially if a man has paid for an expensive date that he expects you'll repay him when you get home by dropping your pants.

marisco_2

SailorSam wrote: »

Ladies. Do you feel sometimes, especially if a man has paid for an expensive date that he expects you'll repay him when you get home by dropping your pants.

I've been wined and dined in some incredible places. On no occasion have I picked up on the guy I was with, having an expectation of being repaid for spending time with me or being generous. Sex and passion doesn't come about if you feel you owe someone something. It usually occurs because you are attracted to them and have a desire to be alone and intimate with them.

duchy

SailorSam wrote: »

Ladies. Do you feel sometimes, especially if a man has paid for an expensive date that he expects you'll repay him when you get home by dropping your pants.

Back atcha
Do you think they should ?

Actually even if I had been considering it-the slightest hint that it would be a barter situation would have me home alone at the end of the evening. Mind you there are some men who think half a larger and a packet of pork scratchings make them entitled too...so it's probably more about the man than the size of his spend !

SailorSam

duchy wrote: »

Back atcha
Do you think they should ?

No i don't think it should, i just wondered if you'd got home and a man had implied that the night shouldn't end early, saying he'd been nice to you and he now expected you to be nice to him.
We're not talking about me, it's just a general thing.