Wife accused of cheating, denies it...

cats_ahoy

Yeah if your wife hasn't cheated, then you are lucky she hasn't kicked you out yet, if I was accused of something I didn't do by a 'crazy' person and my partner didn't believe me, I would be seriously ****** off. Maybe ask your SIL for a lie detector test? You don't have to be serious, just make her think you are, and observe her story and version of events after you've asked for it to see if she changes it at all.

sharnad

Your sister in law sounds like a butter who wants attention

nebakanezer

cats_ahoy wrote: »

Yeah if your wife hasn't cheated, then you are lucky she hasn't kicked you out yet, if I was accused of something I didn't do by a 'crazy' person and my partner didn't believe me, I would be seriously ****** off. Maybe ask your SIL for a lie detector test? You don't have to be serious, just make her think you are, and observe her story and version of events after you've asked for it to see if she changes it at all.

She did kick me out :-/

tea_lover

This story changes a lot.

sharnad

nebakanezer wrote: »

My brothers wife, me and him are very close, and all this has stressed him out, he told her to leave it alone after he told me but she just wouldn't, she was possessed, everyone says how stressed he looks, even before this. I think her and her family are hard work

She's told you what she thinks happened. Why if she isn't try to stir up trouble why doesn't she just leave it at that

nebakanezer

Thanks for all your comments, I really appreciate them, and take them all on board, and it's really good to get a woman's point of view, I listen and learn. I've been very understanding and supportive of my wife's PMT over the years, and need to be stronger over this. When I say my wife is wanting sex less now, some people might wonder why, but in reality the sex/intimacy was fine before, and after the accusations, but now I'm overthinking, she pushes me away.

I want intimacy because of insecurity, but she wants to feel trusted, but like I say, rationally, I totally believe and trust her, irrationally, I just think stupid thoughts :-(

nebakanezer

sharnad wrote: »

She's told you what she thinks happened. Why if she isn't try to stir up trouble why doesn't she just leave it at that

Yes, she can't be wronged and when my wife denied it she went nuts, she admits if she doesn't get the best scores at work and stuff she gets irate!

nebakanezer

tea_lover wrote: »

This story changes a lot.

In what way?

Errata

I don't think it's possible to be both ratonal and irratonal at the same time about something, they're diamatrically opposed.
Make love to your wife because you love her, not to bandage your own insecurity.

sharnad

Poppops wrote: »

If it were me, and I knew it was upsetting my husband, I would stay out of the pub for a while just to prove a point. And not give anyone anything to talk or speculate about. And someone might say, 'why should she? and I agree you shouldn't be dictated to, but this is obviously proving harmful to you.

It is a difficult situation you are in. It's only natural I think to worry and have some doubt. It's called self-preservation.

I knew my sister was having an affair. I was 100% positive about it. I confronted her as I love her husband and kids and wanted her to stop. She told her husband I was being spiteful and was jealous of them. He believed she was innocent and he didn't speak to me for 8 months. Until the day she left him for another man.

While I am not for one minute suggesting your wife is up to anything, I am definitely of the 'where there's smoke......' line of thinking. Maybe she needs to adapt her behaviour when she is out. Maybe it's as simple as that. If that's enough to put an end to gossip, surely it's worth it?

You know that sometimes where there's smoking there is no fire