Wife accused of cheating, denies it...

shegirl

AbbieCadabra wrote: »

Because wife knows it's lies & just SIL causing trouble, it means nothing so carry on as normal & don't let it effect her because SIL really isn't worth it. Possibly?

Regarding pmt, i can get this really badly sometimes & i can well imagine losing it & saying something really hurtful if my buttons were being pressed.

I'm going with the ignore SIL option from what you've said OP, hope you can work through this mess.

If your husband doubts you why would you let him near you?I wouldn't.

If she's faithful the poor woman deserves a medal!

nebakanezer

SailorSam wrote: »

I think if the OPs wife was having an affair she'd be a bit more careful than kiss people in pubs where people know her.
Op i'd want a lot more evidence before listening to some rumours.

We both went out to the same pub a few weeks after she'd been accused, if I'd done anything like that I'd be a bit wary of taking
My spouse there?

Poppops

If it were me, and I knew it was upsetting my husband, I would stay out of the pub for a while just to prove a point. And not give anyone anything to talk or speculate about. And someone might say, 'why should she? and I agree you shouldn't be dictated to, but this is obviously proving harmful to you.

It is a difficult situation you are in. It's only natural I think to worry and have some doubt. It's called self-preservation.

I knew my sister was having an affair. I was 100% positive about it. I confronted her as I love her husband and kids and wanted her to stop. She told her husband I was being spiteful and was jealous of them. He believed she was innocent and he didn't speak to me for 8 months. Until the day she left him for another man.

While I am not for one minute suggesting your wife is up to anything, I am definitely of the 'where there's smoke......' line of thinking. Maybe she needs to adapt her behaviour when she is out. Maybe it's as simple as that. If that's enough to put an end to gossip, surely it's worth it?

nebakanezer

As harsh as some if you might've been, your points are completely valid, I'd be pretty !!!!ed off if it was me and my wife didn't trust me 100%, so I appreciate them all. I guess my post was a but of a cry for help as I have little control over my nightmares, which lead to insecurities etc.

And it's hard to get what people are really like over a forum, but my wife has been extremely !!!!ed off with me, and although sympathetic at times, has not been remorseful, or says I should be pitied. I just didn't really want to say that in the beginning as people react differently, but from what the female posters are saying about how they would feel, that's what my wife has been like.

duchy

Why should you be pitied ?

I'd be livid with you for doubting me - but I'd also have given the SIL an earful by now and told her to sling her hook.

Is this sister in law your brother's wife or your wife's sister btw ?

nebakanezer

Poppops wrote: »

If it were me, and I knew it was upsetting my husband, I would stay out of the pub for a while just to prove a point. And not give anyone anything to talk or speculate about. And someone might say, 'why should she? and I agree you shouldn't be dictated to, but this is obviously proving harmful to you.

It is a difficult situation you are in. It's only natural I think to worry and have some doubt. It's called self-preservation.

I knew my sister was having an affair. I was 100% positive about it. I confronted her as I love her husband and kids and wanted her to stop. She told her husband I was being spiteful and was jealous of them. He believed she was innocent and he didn't speak to me for 8 months. Until the day she left him for another man.

While I am not for one minute suggesting your wife is up to anything, I am definitely of the 'where there's smoke......' line of thinking. Maybe she needs to adapt her behaviour when she is out. Maybe it's as simple as that. If that's enough to put an end to gossip, surely it's worth it?

Yes, she's hardly been out since, but also says that makes her look guilty, and why shouldn't she go out when she's done nothing wrong etc. I know she's not having an affair, as I said, we're extremely close, perhaps a little flirting in pubs, which I'm ok with, could be mis read, my wife says she is a married woman and would never cross the line.

nebakanezer

duchy wrote: »

Why should you be pitied ?

I'd be livid with you for doubting me - but I'd also have given the SIL an earful by now and told her to sling her hook.

Is this sister in law your brother's wife or your wife's sister btw ?

My brothers wife, me and him are very close, and all this has stressed him out, he told her to leave it alone after he told me but she just wouldn't, she was possessed, everyone says how stressed he looks, even before this. I think her and her family are hard work

Pollycat

nebakanezer wrote: »

Obviously I don't want to believe it, but obviously I can't ignore it, but what am I supposed to do when my wife swears to me it isn't true, and for every one person who says it's true, at least another ten, including my wife who I've trusted for 13 years tells me it isn't, this isn't about an affair, I know that's not true for a fact, there's no way my wife is having an affair, we're far too close, in love and in life, it's about messing around in pubs.

What are you supposed to do?
Seriously?
How about believing the majority & not least your wife and ignore the one person who seems hell-bent on causing trouble?
Jeez!
Can't you read what you are typing? :mad:

duchy

Well she's not YOUR family- and I'm sure you could see your brother by himself.

Errata

nebakanezer wrote: »

I've blocked her number, my doctor who has also seen my wife, told me to contact the police!

For goodness sake, the police aren't interested in family gossip, something your doctor will be well aware of.