Wife accused of cheating, denies it...

Morglin

My family wouldn't say things like this, but families who do say things like this exist.

There are examples on this thread and elsewhere.

The SIL has a history of being a bit of a loon, and any man that distrusts his wife because of that (with no other indication of anything) is a fool.

Lin

Pollycat

clarryd wrote: »

Yes I did read OP but still think if family said something this bad then it may possibly be true.

I personally don't know if she is guilty or not hopefully not but IMO family (well my family) wouldn't say these things.

His SIL has been caught out herself so maybe wants her BIL to know that his wife isn't as innocent as he thinks she is. I really don't know but the true really does hurt she be careful.

nebakanezer wrote: »

My sister in law told me there were photos, my wife didn't bat an eyelid and said there weren't, she asked my sister in law to show them and they never showed up.

Don't you think that if there had been photos the SIL would have produced them?
There appears to be absolutely no evidence whatsoever apart from the word of a (according to the OP):

nebakanezer wrote: »

self confessed control freak.

The OP has also said this about his SIL:

nebakanezer wrote: »

she also accused her of staying out, my wife has never stayed away from home.

so he knows his SIL lies.

The OP also said this:

nebakanezer wrote: »

I know what my sister in law is like, and I know how easy it is for people to lie, but I can't get these awful thoughts out of my head, she became so he'll bent on incriminating my wife, and exaggerated everything, that she had no idea the damage she was doing to me.

and you think that if someone like the OP's SIL has said something like this, it may possibly be true?

Errata

Don't you think it's time you stopped joining in your SIL's fantasies?

nebakanezer

Hang on a minute, I knew as soon as I mentioned anxiety I'd be branded as some paranoid over-bearing husband, I can assure that before all this that couldn't be further from the truth. In 13 years I have never so much as raised my voice to my wife, I've loved and cared for her, told her rwgularly how amazing I think she is, and NEVER told her what she can or can't do, I've travelled the country never missing a football game for my step son, raised him as my own, worked every day, and cooked tea every night.

But yes, you are all correct, I need to stop now, and I truly appreciate all your comments, thank you.

nebakanezer

And we never ever had trust or jealousy issues before all this, that's why it's such a shock

Errata

nebakanezer wrote: »

And we never ever had trust or jealousy issues before all this, that's why it's such a shock

You haven't got trust or jealousy issues, you've got a SIL who is barking mad.

Pollycat

I'd say the OP does have trust issues - fuelled by a barking mad SIL.

nebakanezer wrote: »

Hang on a minute, I knew as soon as I mentioned anxiety I'd be branded as some paranoid over-bearing husband, I can assure that before all this that couldn't be further from the truth.

Hang on a minute - wasn't it you who mentioned paranoia?

nebakanezer wrote: »

Thanks, yes, I've just been up and down but paranoia has grown and will hopefully subside.

nebakanezer wrote: »

But yes, you are all correct, I need to stop now, and I truly appreciate all your comments, thank you.

I hope you do stop.
Otherwise I fear that you'll be posting on here that your wife has decided she's had enough of your suspicion.

Kayalana99

Pollycat wrote: »

I'd say the OP does have trust issues - fuelled by a barking mad SIL.


Hang on a minute - wasn't it you who mentioned paranoia?




I hope you do stop.
Otherwise I fear that you'll be posting on here that your wife has decided she's had enough of your suspicion.

Clutching at straws here Polly, good luck OP. It would cast doubt in anyones mind someone being in your ear like that.

quantumleap

As a husband who feels similarly to you about his relationship with his wife being really good - I can appreciate how this whole experience must have rattled you. It must be difficult. To me there are only 3 possibilities.


1. You continue to doubt and let it get under your skin. Your marriage ends as this would be untenable for your wife.

2. You ignore it and move on and then ultimately some piece of shocking evidence is produced revealing it all to be true. Your marriage ends as this would be untenable for you.

3. In the absence of concrete evidence you let this go, trust your wife and move on. Concrete evidence never materializes and you and your family live happily ever after.


So, let it go and move on and don't mention it again. Either number 2 or number 3 will happen. At least this way your marriage has a chance. If you don't, number 1 is inevitable and its done.

nebakanezer

quantumleap wrote: »

As a husband who feels similarly to you about his relationship with his wife being really good - I can appreciate how this whole experience must have rattled you. It must be difficult. To me there are only 3 possibilities.


1. You continue to doubt and let it get under your skin. Your marriage ends as this would be untenable for your wife.

2. You ignore it and move on and then ultimately some piece of shocking evidence is produced revealing it all to be true. Your marriage ends as this would be untenable for you.

3. In the absence of concrete evidence you let this go, trust your wife and move on. Concrete evidence never materializes and you and your family live happily ever after.


So, let it go and move on and don't mention it again. Either number 2 or number 3 will happen. At least this way your marriage has a chance. If you don't, number 1 is inevitable and its done.

Perfectly put basically. I am scared of scenario 2, which is probably why I posted here, but I have to go with number 3 and give us a chance, thanks.