A little bit of late advice from whoever's around!

Janepig

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

I know you don't want to make things even more awkward between your son and the teacher, but if you feel he is definitely being unfairly picked on and singled out, then go and speak to the head teacher.

Try and get him to go to his cross country, it would be a shame if he lost his confidence or interest in sport because of a couple of recent incidents and missed out on something he was looking forward to.

Luckily he's going to start athletics training with his sister next month - they take them from year four so he's been waiting to start. His cubs group has a trip to Police HQ planned for Thursday but he was going to miss that to do the cross country. He's changed his mind now though after today. He basically doesn't want to do anything that this teacher will be involved in. He also does rugby and football outside school so he's got a finger in alot of pies!! He started up football again because he knew he had no chance of being picked for the school team if he wasn't doing it outside school.

DD's best friend was never chosen by this teacher for anything sporty when she was there - now they've started comp she's in both the netball and girls football team and her confidence has rocketed. It was the same kids picked year in year out (and I include DD in that, she got to do everything). Lazy way of doing it if you ask me.

Jx

meritaten

I do think you have to complain about this teacher Jane, he sounds a right twit.
out of a whole class there is always going to be a child who doesn't quite 'get' the instructions. (re the Cones exercise). to then exclude that child for the rest of the lesson is just sadistic or lazy.most teachers would have let that go or made him do it again - I see no reason to sideline him.
it would be a crying shame if he lost interest in sport just because of this one d!ckhead.

Janepig

What DS has told me this evening is that he was left unsupervised for the hour he was there too. There were also two other [STRIKE]usual suspects[/STRIKE] boys who had been sent off for fighting and the three of them were alone quite a distance away from the rest of the group. Wouldn't be an issue on school grounds but they were on the playing fields next to the school, a very large open public area with trees lining one edge and a river on the other. From what DS says they could have got up to anything while they were left alone on the sidelines. I'm not a helicopter parent by any means but I don't think that's really the done thing either.

Jx

meritaten

OMG - they were near a river unsupervised? that is definitely a matter to be drawn to the heads attention. it doesn't bear thinking about what COULD have happened.
I know you aren't a helicopter parent - but, you are a caring parent. There is a difference and in my opinion - I would definitely be having words with the headmaster.

Spendless

I've found I get the best responses from a school over issues if I put my 'problem' in writing. For some reason they seem to up their game once there's a paper trail.;) :think: I take my opinion out of it and any emotion and stick to fact.

Janepig wrote: »

However, not wishing to undermine the teacher in front of DS, I did say I was somewhat bemused about him being punished for throwing a rubber, when he is black and blue from some of the kids in his class, he was hit in the eye with a book last term and went to A&E as he had a cut on his eyeball (the child who did that wasn't told off, his mother is a teacher there),Jx

Missing the rolling eyes smiley! Been here and got the t-shirt, as has my sister (different school) and other parents I know (in both state and private schools), wish I could give a suggestion for this one, but if you find one I'm interested in knowing the solution. For me it was wait till they get to Secondary school, the staff come from further afield, and you get a more 'diluted' link!

Savvy_Sue

It's just possible that you'll find the headteacher is quite receptive to someone who's prepared to put their head above the parapet on a regular basis and say that Mr X's behaviour is not acceptable. If you can keep it 'professional' rather than 'picking on my son' then that would help - so the incident where 3 boys are left unsupervised near a river when two of them are 'usual suspects' is particularly telling, IMO.

DS3's reception teacher was a nightmare, and off sick on and off throughout that year. When the head said that because they'd been so disrupted in Reception they were getting the same teacher for Year 1, my face said it all! And the head asked if I'd put my concerns in writing. I wrote a list with a number of incidents where this teacher had behaved in a completely unprofessional manner, breaching confidentiality in quite unnecessary ways on a regular basis and apparently unable to accept that DS3 wasn't the same kind of child as DS2.

That teacher didn't make it to Christmas, and DS3's education got going properly.

Janepig

Just by way of update, DH rang the headteacher yesterday who said all the right things, said he would speak to DS and the teacher (who was out taking some boys to a rugby match - as I think I mentioned before, he's either off sick or off elsewhere very often) and would get the teacher to ring DH back, but that we must report anything to him straight away if something like this happens again. When I picked DS up from school he said that the teacher had apologised to him in front of the class for leaving him on the sidelines for so long.

When DH got home he said that the teacher had rung him, seemed to have some memory difficulties when it came to just why DS was sent off but when DH clarified it for him he admitted it was for what DS said it was, but he also said it wasn't for as long as DS was saying it was (but in all honesty I do believe DS because they were doing drills at the start of the session). He also told DH that he had no clue what it was like looking after 30 children outside and that he'd told DS he was banned for two weeks from after school club (DS didn't tell us this). DH didn't bother telling him it was okay, DS never wants to darken the after school club door ever again!! DH just said "so is that it?" and the teacher said "yes it is".

DS still seems rather flat about it all, but I know there's nothing worse than having a teacher who you don't gel with. They went on a school trip earlier in the day on Tuesday and DS said some of the girls were hugging this teacher and he had one of them on his shoulders. I asked DS where he was and he said "I was as far away from him as I could get!!!". But that's how this teacher is, he has a group who he seems to love and then the other kids can just go hang. He tends to form friendships with selected parents as well.

I'm not sure that even if I complain and complain and complain that the school will do anything. I don't really know how to explain what I mean without identifying him so I'll say no more about that! But I think I will keep complaining nonetheless, even if it's just to make his life a misery!! I've never been a moaner in all the time my two kids have been at the school, I've always been a supportive parent and they've both got involved in all aspects of school life, especially DD, so hopefully they'll realise I'm not a serial complainer!!

Thanks all for the really helpful comments.

Jx

Mojisola

Janepig wrote: »

They went on a school trip earlier in the day on Tuesday and DS said some of the girls were hugging this teacher and he had one of them on his shoulders.

He's leaving himself open to questions about 'inappropriate behaviour' doing things like this. Most teachers are very careful about physical contact with pupils.

He sounds as if he needs some professional re-education all round.

GobbledyGook

So for not understanding the instructions (or from the teachers pov not listening) your child was left out of the majority of the lesson AND is banned from an after school club for two weeks? That seems massively disproportionate to me.

The 'no idea how is is to look after 30 kids' comment bothers me. It's rude, presumptuous (if he can't remember what your child was sent to the sidelines for then I'd put my mortgage on him not knowing your husband's CV) and, in my experience, is only usually said by someone who is struggling with his class.

He sounds like he needs serious retraining. His manner with the children, especially the girls, is inappropriate for a teacher and his manner with parents needs some serious work.

Savvy_Sue

Mojisola wrote: »

He's leaving himself open to questions about 'inappropriate behaviour' doing things like this. Most teachers are very careful about physical contact with pupils.

He sounds as if he needs some professional re-education all round.

I agree. I'd definitely make sure the head knows about that! And if you can get other parents onside with the complaints it would help, IMO.