A little bit of late advice from whoever's around!

bossymoo

Janepig wrote: »

No, the other kids on the team are the ones that always get picked for everything. Last year they had some photos in the local paper of all the kids who have competed in different things for the school and they were all the same kids, particularly the boys - swimming, football, netball, rugby, hockey, cricket, they're all the same. And they're all the kids who do it out of school too. Mr PE gets all the credit but he doesn't coach or train them, he just relies on the kids who are already coached out of school. Sod the ones who don't get a chance out of school (through indifference or lack of money).

DD's class were being taught by Mr PE last Wednesday, he teaches a different year each day, usually focussing on PE and computers. I think it was while he was out of the room that the girls who told DD she was dropped had snuck a look at his "book" with the team in. Sad thing is, DD had worked out previously that this teacher would be teaching them on her birthday and she was really excited about it. Although that's probably more to do with the subjects they study on his day rather than him.

I've said all along I've got no issue with the "dropping", more the fairness of it (or unfairness) and the manner in which he did it.

Jx

Do you think he wasn't prepared then? Seems the girls found out not because they were told by him, so perhaps he was planning to announce it, only to find out everyone knew and your DD was crying?

I'm sort of trying to give him the benefit of the doubt here but since you've met the guy you will know better than I if that could be the case...

Janepig

Hi gang, thought I'd resurrect this thread instead of starting a new one. Same teacher, different child.

The teacher who is the subject of this thread is now unfortunately DS's teacher (year four). I found out he was going to be DS's teacher because at the end of last term someone in DD's class asked him if it was right that he was going to be teaching year four this year and he said it was, and that they should pity him as he has to put up with "X and Y" this year (two of the naughtier kids in DS's class). Inappropriate?

So I wasn't looking forward to DS being in his class. I had spoken to afew other mums (including two who work at the school) on DD's last day and they had nothing good to say about him (although they were professional enough not to completely lay into him, I got the jist of what they meant).

DS is a fairly "typical" 8 year old boy, talkative and a bit excitable and I knew it would take him afew weeks to settle in his new class as it has done right through school. He's got lots of friends though, he seems popular and absolutely isn't a bully, he doesn't hit other kids etc.....

DS came out of school last week, really upset and said the teacher wanted to see me. I asked what he'd done and he said he'd thrown a rubber at another child (who happens to be a relative and one of his best friends) and wasn't listening. I spoke to the teacher and he confirmed this and I agreed that DS needs to sit still and listen to him, pay attention, etc.... However, not wishing to undermine the teacher in front of DS, I did say I was somewhat bemused about him being punished for throwing a rubber, when he is black and blue from some of the kids in his class, he was hit in the eye with a book last term and went to A&E as he had a cut on his eyeball (the child who did that wasn't told off, his mother is a teacher there), another child pinched him last week as she snatched his homework off him and he took it back. She's not told off as her grandparents are religious leaders and are always back and forth to the school. I could go on. DS throws a rubber and I'm hauled into school for a bollocking. But I kept it light, concious that DS has to spend each day with this man.

Just as an aside I spoke to my relative to check on the child who he threw the rubber at - all was fine and in fact DS went there for tea the following day.

Today he's been to after school sports club, I went to pick him up at 4.15 to find him already wandering about outside school looking glum. He told me that he never wants to go back to sports club and was giving me some spurious reasons why. I eventually got out of him that he'd had a row from his teacher because they were doing drills where they had to tip toe through cones and walk back, but he tip toed back as well and as such was banished to the sidelines for the whole session and was freezing by the time I fetched him. He also now doesn't want to go to the cross country competition he was supposed to be taking part in on Thursday.

He's a very sporty child, he does football and rugby outside school and is very good at it (I'd be the first to say if he was rubbish, trust me!) and is generally very enthusiastic. One of his rugby coaches in particular puts up with no nonsense whatsoever and he's never had to sent him to the side for the whole session. Or even for afew minutes actually.

I can't go in and see him again, DS had enough of a telling off from me last week for putting me in the position of having to converse with him again, although I do think he was being harsh. I'll get upset if I have to speak to him again. Plus, I might as well just go and chat to the nearest bush for all the good it will do. Plus I don't want to make it worse for DS than it appears to be already.

Advice? Good, bad or otherwise, all welcome, especially if you've managed to read my outpourings again!

Jx

Georgiegirl256

Once again, I think you are totally overreacting tbh. Of course he's going to get into trouble for throwing things in class. This time it was a rubber, next time it could be a compass or something dangerous.

I get your point about the other children who hit, pinch and punch, and I totally agree that they too should be disciplined, and because they haven't been, then you feel your son is being unfairly picked on.

The PE issue is another big deal out of nothing. He didn't do as asked, and PE teachers are notoriously competitive and just want all participants to do their best and learn from their mistakes. He'll come across bigger and harder issues than being sent to the sidelines for a session. Your son not wanting to go to the cross country training is just simply stubbornness and throwing a strop, and what is he getting into a "row" with the teacher for?

pollypenny

Cut out the teacher, Jane, and go to the head. Tell her exactly what you've put here.

The trouble with Junior schools is that one teacher has too much 'power', for good or bad.

My DS had a bad first year in juniors with a staid old spinster type, ironically sister of his marvellous infants teachers, who called me in to tell me about him reading to,the class and doing all the voices.

His end of year report also gave him D Welsh, in the very anglicised area we lived in then.

Don't put up with it. That teacher sounds like he is on a power trip, macho strutting!

Janepig

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Once again, I think you are totally overreacting tbh. Of course he's going to get into trouble for throwing things in class. This time it was a rubber, next time it could be a compass or something dangerous.

I get your point about the other children who hit, pinch and punch, and I totally agree that they too should be disciplined, and because they haven't been, then you feel your son is being unfairly picked on.

The PE issue is another big deal out of nothing. He didn't do as asked, and PE teachers are notoriously competitive and just want all participants to do their best and learn from their mistakes. He'll come across bigger and harder issues than being sent to the sidelines for a session. Your son not wanting to go to the cross country training is just simply stubbornness and throwing a strop, and what is he getting into a "row" with the teacher for?

I know what you're saying but honestly, he wouldn't move on to throwing compasses, etc.... he's not that daft!! There are plenty in his class that would.

I don't think he's having a strop either, I've seen DS having a strop and this isn't it. He's just lost interest, he's got that kind of "well I just can't win" feeling. As if he knows he's on a loser with this teacher no matter what he does.

Jx

pollypenny

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

The PE issue is another big deal out of nothing. He didn't do as asked, and PE teachers are notoriously competitive and just want all participants to do their best and learn from their mistakes. He'll come across bigger and harder issues than being sent to the sidelines for a session. Your son not wanting to go to the cross country training is just simply stubbornness and throwing a strop, and what is he getting into a "row" with the teacher for?

You've misunderstood this. 'Row' is a telling off in South Wales.

A parent or a teacher could 'give someone a row '.

Georgiegirl256

pollypenny wrote: »

You've misunderstood this. 'Row' is a telling off in South Wales.

A parent or a teacher could 'give someone a row '.

Ah right, got ya, thanks!

Georgiegirl256

Janepig wrote: »

I know what you're saying but honestly, he wouldn't move on to throwing compasses, etc.... he's not that daft!! There are plenty in his class that would.

I don't think he's having a strop either, I've seen DS having a strop and this isn't it. He's just lost interest, he's got that kind of "well I just can't win" feeling. As if he knows he's on a loser with this teacher no matter what he does.

Jx

I know you don't want to make things even more awkward between your son and the teacher, but if you feel he is definitely being unfairly picked on and singled out, then go and speak to the head teacher.

Try and get him to go to his cross country, it would be a shame if he lost his confidence or interest in sport because of a couple of recent incidents and missed out on something he was looking forward to.

nearlyrich

Teacher sounds like a bully what kind of adult gets off on humiliating small kids? JP you are not a high maintenance mum but you are right to stick up for your children.

Janepig

pollypenny wrote: »

Cut out the teacher, Jane, and go to the head. Tell her exactly what you've put here.

The trouble with Junior schools is that one teacher has too much 'power', for good or bad.

My DS had a bad first year in juniors with a staid old spinster type, ironically sister of his marvellous infants teachers, who called me in to tell me about him reading to,the class and doing all the voices.

His end of year report also gave him D Welsh, in the very anglicised area we lived in then.

Don't put up with it. That teacher sounds like he is on a power trip, macho strutting!

Thanks Pol - DH is going to ring the headmaster tomorrow. I'm also not happy with the maths he's doing either (as a side issue). He had marks in the top end of "above average" in the national tests at the end of last term (not the b all and end all I know) and he loves maths by his own admission. He brought evidence of a test he'd done home today, he'd got them all right, two and four times tables questions. He's almost 9. His other two pieces of maths homework have been ridiculously easy too, as if it's a backward step from last year. I think DH will mention that too.

There's a new WM primary opening near us in the new year, to replace an existing school and I'm keen for DS to move there but he's dead against it because despite everything he wants to stay with his friends. I just feel so bad for him because alot of this is similar to what I went through at school myself, and is one of the reasons why I'm always reluctant to go to the school if there are issues such as this.

Jx