A little bit of late advice from whoever's around!

Janepig

Carmina-Piranha wrote: »

How did the other kids find out?

I'm not sure if he told them (or they asked him) but it may be that they had a nose in his "book" and saw the team in there. They then told her about it at lunchtime. He called them all together in the afternoon and told them then.

FBaby wrote: »

This is why I think this teach handled the situation so badly. He should have recognised OP's daughter frustration and encourage her competitive spirit, explaining it is ok to be disappointed at time because even top competitors are regularly, but that this is often what gives them even more fire to win next time.

I didn't realise this thread was still going and there's been lots of nice, helpful comments which I very much appreciate. I've quoted this one because it best explains what I'd sort of hoped to get from him (but didn't).

When DD played rugby for a local team, their coach picked afew boys to go for try outs for the area team (although they were, strictly speaking, a year too young). I never expected, or wanted, DD to try out, she really wasn't good enough, but her coach took the time to come over and explain why to us and was really really nice about it and ever so encouraging.

That's what was totally missing from the conversation I had with Mr PE the other day. Total lack of sympathy, understanding, or encouragement.

What has since happened is that last Friday he was doing tryouts for the cross country competition which takes place in the same venue as the football, but later in the day. DS (year 3) was desperate to make the team (he has done before but I couldn't take him), DD has made the team since she was in year 3. I told her that it was up to her whether she tried out or not and she said she would for DS's sake as he really wants to go. In the event she didn't try out, DS did and made the team, although DD reckons she'll be allowed to run if she goes along with DS to the event.

I've told her that I'll completely understand if she doesn't want to go, I wouldn't tbh, when she's going to see all her football team mates up there (is it awful that I'm hoping against hope that they don't win?:o). It's not like her not to want to go and this is entirely down to this man's attitude towards her. But it's really difficult to get DD to open up about what she wants to do or how she feels - she tends to try to guess what you want to hear and says that!

Meantime, I'm still debating whether or not to get in touch with the headmaster over it all. I just feel so sorry for DD, and I dislike Mr PE more than I could possibly explain on here!

Jx

meritaten

Jane - your dd only has a few months in this school? as she is eleven she will be going on to comp? I would let it go - but make darn sure he doesn't get away with this another time. and I totally understand how you feel about the team winning, or rather losing. it shows how annoyed you are for your daughter being dropped for no good reason.

Janepig

meritaten wrote: »

Jane - your dd only has a few months in this school? as she is eleven she will be going on to comp? I would let it go - but make darn sure he doesn't get away with this another time. and I totally understand how you feel about the team winning, or rather losing. it shows how annoyed you are for your daughter being dropped for no good reason.

Yes, she's leaving in July, which is a big consideration and why I'm torn as to what to do. One of the things I've said to her is that in afew months she'll be in a new school and Mr PE's "clique" are going to find themselves up against alot of other children for their teachers' affections! Lots of new experiences, different teachers, different kids.

On the other hand, I don't want this to be what she remembers, and really she's been a model pupil throughout her years in the school, never a bad word or report from any of her teachers, I've never been called in because of her behaviour - unlike DS who lasted a month before I was called in!! His teachers are probably counting the days until he goes! My feeling as to why she was singled out is because she would never give Mr PE grief over it, whereas most of the other kids would give him a load of back-chat if they were dropped.

My other concern is DS is very sporty too (and much more competitive than DD) and I don't want this to happen to him, but because I'm not a parent who is in Mr PE's circle (most of the kids who are in his clique have parents who are) my fear is that this will happen to him. But of course none of this is really communicable to the school so I'll probably just have to see what happens.

Jx

Carmina-Piranha_2

Is it possible that your daughter was dropped because she does a lot more sports than the others on the team, and the coach thought that she'd have plenty of opportunity in other areas? Or are the other team members also involved in all the other sports that she does?

Personally I'd have no problem with my child being dropped, but would hate for them to find out in a horrible way, being sneered at by mean kids, etc. and the PE teacher really should consider the method of her finding out - unless he read the list out to a whole team or class and your daughter was absent?

IrishRose12

Janepig wrote: »

Yes, she's leaving in July, which is a big consideration and why I'm torn as to what to do. One of the things I've said to her is that in afew months she'll be in a new school and Mr PE's "clique" are going to find themselves up against alot of other children for their teachers' affections! Lots of new experiences, different teachers, different kids.

On the other hand, I don't want this to be what she remembers, and really she's been a model pupil throughout her years in the school, never a bad word or report from any of her teachers, I've never been called in because of her behaviour - unlike DS who lasted a month before I was called in!! His teachers are probably counting the days until he goes! My feeling as to why she was singled out is because she would never give Mr PE grief over it, whereas most of the other kids would give him a load of back-chat if they were dropped.

My other concern is DS is very sporty too (and much more competitive than DD) and I don't want this to happen to him, but because I'm not a parent who is in Mr PE's circle (most of the kids who are in his clique have parents who are) my fear is that this will happen to him. But of course none of this is really communicable to the school so I'll probably just have to see what happens.

Jx

These are the reasons why I WOULD go and speak to the headmaster. The fact that Mr Prat didn't even acknowledge your daughter when she was beside you talking to him makes my wn blood boil:mad:

Sounds to me that he needs a reminder that he's working in a school where he has to be equal to EVERY CHILD, and not just his little clique. I HATE cliques and I despise them in schools. I treat each and every child in the school I work in and they're parents with the same respect as everyone else. No-one gets special treatment or treated differently, be they family friends or someone I don't know. It's not professional and it's not fair.

Janepig

Carmina-Piranha wrote: »

Is it possible that your daughter was dropped because she does a lot more sports than the others on the team, and the coach thought that she'd have plenty of opportunity in other areas? Or are the other team members also involved in all the other sports that she does?

Personally I'd have no problem with my child being dropped, but would hate for them to find out in a horrible way, being sneered at by mean kids, etc. and the PE teacher really should consider the method of her finding out - unless he read the list out to a whole team or class and your daughter was absent?

No, the other kids on the team are the ones that always get picked for everything. Last year they had some photos in the local paper of all the kids who have competed in different things for the school and they were all the same kids, particularly the boys - swimming, football, netball, rugby, hockey, cricket, they're all the same. And they're all the kids who do it out of school too. Mr PE gets all the credit but he doesn't coach or train them, he just relies on the kids who are already coached out of school. Sod the ones who don't get a chance out of school (through indifference or lack of money).

DD's class were being taught by Mr PE last Wednesday, he teaches a different year each day, usually focussing on PE and computers. I think it was while he was out of the room that the girls who told DD she was dropped had snuck a look at his "book" with the team in. Sad thing is, DD had worked out previously that this teacher would be teaching them on her birthday and she was really excited about it. Although that's probably more to do with the subjects they study on his day rather than him.

I've said all along I've got no issue with the "dropping", more the fairness of it (or unfairness) and the manner in which he did it.

Jx

Carmina-Piranha_2

I don't like the sound of kids sneaking a look at things the teachers have on their desks!

Janepig

Carmina-Piranha wrote: »

I don't like the sound of kids sneaking a look at things the teachers have on their desks!

Nor me! Quite unprofessional! Wouldn't even have had a chance to do that when I was in school - you were supervised in the classroom the whole time!!

Jx

meritaten

but in my day, teachers didn't leave anything on their desks they didn't want the kids seeing. it cant have changed that much!

pollypenny

I'd let it go now, Jane, since your OH has spoken to the head anyway.