A little bit of late advice from whoever's around!

pollypenny

He sounds like the !!!! of the farmyard, strutting around and followed by his adoring crew.

Some male teachers in primary schools have an inflated idea of themselves. Prat!

Takeaway_Addict

Janepig wrote: »

Just by way of update, DH rang the headteacher yesterday who said all the right things, said he would speak to DS and the teacher (who was out taking some boys to a rugby match - as I think I mentioned before, he's either off sick or off elsewhere very often) and would get the teacher to ring DH back, but that we must report anything to him straight away if something like this happens again. When I picked DS up from school he said that the teacher had apologised to him in front of the class for leaving him on the sidelines for so long.

When DH got home he said that the teacher had rung him, seemed to have some memory difficulties when it came to just why DS was sent off but when DH clarified it for him he admitted it was for what DS said it was, but he also said it wasn't for as long as DS was saying it was (but in all honesty I do believe DS because they were doing drills at the start of the session). He also told DH that he had no clue what it was like looking after 30 children outside and that he'd told DS he was banned for two weeks from after school club (DS didn't tell us this). DH didn't bother telling him it was okay, DS never wants to darken the after school club door ever again!! DH just said "so is that it?" and the teacher said "yes it is".

DS still seems rather flat about it all, but I know there's nothing worse than having a teacher who you don't gel with. They went on a school trip earlier in the day on Tuesday and DS said some of the girls were hugging this teacher and he had one of them on his shoulders. I asked DS where he was and he said "I was as far away from him as I could get!!!". But that's how this teacher is, he has a group who he seems to love and then the other kids can just go hang. He tends to form friendships with selected parents as well.

I'm not sure that even if I complain and complain and complain that the school will do anything. I don't really know how to explain what I mean without identifying him so I'll say no more about that! But I think I will keep complaining nonetheless, even if it's just to make his life a misery!! I've never been a moaner in all the time my two kids have been at the school, I've always been a supportive parent and they've both got involved in all aspects of school life, especially DD, so hopefully they'll realise I'm not a serial complainer!!

Thanks all for the really helpful comments.

Jx

If the bold part is true the guy is an idiot

Janepig

Takeaway_Addict wrote: »

If the bold part is true the guy is an idiot

According to DS it's true. And knowing him I've got no doubt in my mind about it.

He was showing off his iphone 6 to the class today. Honestly I want to slap his face for him.

DH his about to throw in the towel and move DS out of there - not an easy decision as it's his old school but it's rapidly getting to that point. I have heard on the grapevine that there's going to be a mass exodus from the school anyway once this new expanded school opens. We shall see.

Jx

GobbledyGook

Was the head really keen that you let him know anything?

I only ask because I worked in a school once (admittedly primary school) where the head was desperate to get rid of a really rubbish teacher, but until some parents complained she really struggled. There were loads of unhappy murmurs in the playground, but it wasn't until one parent complained that the floodgates opened and the Head was able to get the process underway.

If the head/smt doesn't know about the issues they can't fix them.

rpc

Janepig wrote: »

Just by way of update, DH rang the headteacher yesterday who said all the right things, said he would speak to DS and the teacher (who was out taking some boys to a rugby match - as I think I mentioned before, he's either off sick or off elsewhere very often) and would get the teacher to ring DH back, but that we must report anything to him straight away if something like this happens again. When I picked DS up from school he said that the teacher had apologised to him in front of the class for leaving him on the sidelines for so long.

When DH got home he said that the teacher had rung him, seemed to have some memory difficulties when it came to just why DS was sent off but when DH clarified it for him he admitted it was for what DS said it was, but he also said it wasn't for as long as DS was saying it was (but in all honesty I do believe DS because they were doing drills at the start of the session). He also told DH that he had no clue what it was like looking after 30 children outside and that he'd told DS he was banned for two weeks from after school club (DS didn't tell us this). DH didn't bother telling him it was okay, DS never wants to darken the after school club door ever again!! DH just said "so is that it?" and the teacher said "yes it is".

DS still seems rather flat about it all, but I know there's nothing worse than having a teacher who you don't gel with. They went on a school trip earlier in the day on Tuesday and DS said some of the girls were hugging this teacher and he had one of them on his shoulders. I asked DS where he was and he said "I was as far away from him as I could get!!!". But that's how this teacher is, he has a group who he seems to love and then the other kids can just go hang. He tends to form friendships with selected parents as well.

Put everything you have described above in a letter to the head. To "confirm the details of our discussion and subsequent discussion with the teacher concerned." I'd be half tempted to copy it to a governer.

What you want to do is establish a paper trail - you complained about X, school did Y to resolve it. When X happens again, you want to have an agreed history to refer to and you don't get that from a phone call. If you write to them telling them what they said, they can correct you or accept it.

Savvy_Sue

GobbledyGook wrote: »

Was the head really keen that you let him know anything?

I only ask because I worked in a school once (admittedly primary school) where the head was desperate to get rid of a really rubbish teacher, but until some parents complained she really struggled. There were loads of unhappy murmurs in the playground, but it wasn't until one parent complained that the floodgates opened and the Head was able to get the process underway.

If the head/smt doesn't know about the issues they can't fix them.

More to the point, if they haven't got a verifiable history of problems, they are limited in what they can do. Parental complaints from several families is very helpful.

rpc wrote: »

Put everything you have described above in a letter to the head. To "confirm the details of our discussion and subsequent discussion with the teacher concerned." I'd be half tempted to copy it to a governer.

What you want to do is establish a paper trail - you complained about X, school did Y to resolve it. When X happens again, you want to have an agreed history to refer to and you don't get that from a phone call. If you write to them telling them what they said, they can correct you or accept it.

Absolutely.

Janepig

Update time!!

Things have been fairly quiet on the DS front since the after school club incident. He had a different teacher yesterday (another one of DD's old teachers) who wanted him to tell me that he had had a row off her because she told him off for swinging on his chair and he answered back that he wasn't swinging on the chair (because he says he wasn't) and she gave him a row for answering back. He then had a row for pulling faces with some of the boys. I give up!

Anyway, today he was supposed to be staying after school (not for sports, he hasn't been back to that!) but he, and I, forgot the stuff he needed, so DH rang the school to say I'd drop it off on my way home. As I arrived at the school the juniors were lined up in the yard ready to go back in with one of the year three teachers yelling blue murder at them and picking kids out to stand by the wall.

I was cowering by the wall myself, not wanting to walk into the middle of this when DS's teacher spotted me, looked away, and then looked back, so I waved the stuff I'd brought with me and he came over so I handed it to him. He then said he was glad he'd seen me because he wanted a chat (I thought "oh dear god") and then started saying how fantastically well behaved DS was now, how he'd changed so much, he was really good, didn't answer back, wasn't cheeky and was very helpful and a pleasure to have in class, etc... I did ask him if there was going to be a "but" and he said no, that he had no complaints about DS's behaviour at all, he's been excellent over the last few weeks.

Is it wrong of me to wonder what his ulterior motive is in this?

Jx

Savvy_Sue

Janepig wrote: »

Is it wrong of me to wonder what his ulterior motive is in this?

I can't say whether you're wrong or not, but I'd be wondering too.

It also makes me feel a bit sad that all the normal bright boyishness seems to be being squashed out of your DS, and it makes me glad that mine survived school as well as they did: the younger two were quite cheeky but for some reason teachers didn't seem to dislike them.

pollypenny

It's funny, but there are different kinds of cheekiness in a school. Much is to do with tone and intention, I suppose.

I'm trying to think of examples now. It's a while since I retired.

I once asked a boy if he smoked. Before he could answer another lad called out, ' Do penguins have cold a**es?'

I should have been cross, but we all collapsed in laughter.

Oh, boys in my lovely tutor group ordered me not to attempt to balance the register, but clear off and have a cup of coffee. It was do that they could do it from scratch.

Madmel

After his behaviour on the trip, it sounds as if you pay out enough rope, this guy will willingly hang himself. Watch & wait...