Girlfriend refusing to pay towards rent

FBaby

Would love to hear the other side but that rarely happens on an internet forum

I too get the feeling that there is are elements to the story that has been left out, but indeed, we won't know.

~Chameleon~

FBaby wrote: »

I too get the feeling that there is are elements to the story that has been left out, but indeed, we won't know.

Precisely. I do recall one thread where the partner of a poster came on to give his/her side to a story under the same log-in name which became rather confusing. Quite bizarre actually. Never did figure out whether they were genuine.

getmore4less

~Chameleon~ wrote: »

ETA: She already owns a property I believe so why should she pay for his too? If he can't afford the mortgage maybe he should do what she has done and get a lodger in

keep up at the back.....

Not quite, she no longer has a lodger as she rents the place out,

seemed to happen around the time she lost her job........

from the first post

Fast forward a year and we got back together. She had a lodger but after a few months moved completely back into mine. During the last 9 months she has not paid anything in rent but has paid something towards food. I felt that I couldn't charge anything as she was still paying her mortgage and there was always the option of staying at hers rather than mine.

Unfortunately by coincidence we have both been made redundant within a few months of each other and she has now rented out her flat.

So to be the same the OP should rent his place out and they share the rent on a place they can afford(while unemployed)....

duchy

getmore4less wrote: »

keep up at the back.....

Not quite, she no longer has a lodger as she rents the place out,

seemed to happen around the time she lost her job........

from the first post

Fast forward a year and we got back together. She had a lodger but after a few months moved completely back into mine. During the last 9 months she has not paid anything in rent but has paid something towards food. I felt that I couldn't charge anything as she was still paying her mortgage and there was always the option of staying at hers rather than mine.

Unfortunately by coincidence we have both been made redundant within a few months of each other and she has now rented out her flat.

So to be the same the OP should rent his place out and they share the rent on a place they can afford(while unemployed)....

Why rent a third property- She has a place - he has a larger place. Rent out the larger property and live (more economically) in hers. Rent on a four bedroom property in Wimbledon would probably cover both mortgage payments . I'm quite surprised the OP didn't mention this as an option and I wonder if it was suggested and he rejected it out of hand. If they were a year into their relationship I could understand it -but after five years-not so much .
Anyway looks like the OP isn't coming back so we will never know. Guess we didn't say what they wanted to hear

Actually I note the OP and his GF have plans to go travelling so presumably BOTH properties will be rented out anyway. I get the impression the OP doesn't actually NEED the money so much as wants it. Again that is probably a trust and commitment issue more than a financial one.

picklekin

To me it all depends on the length and depth of the relationship, when I was younger and had BFs live with me, they paid rent! I charged a fair amount and they didn't see a problem with it, these were more casual young relationships, we didn't have joint accounts or make vows to each other! Now I'm older and I'm married, the same wouldn't apply, we are a partnership, I earn far less than my OH and he wouldn't expect me to pay half the mortgage on the house we bought together, all our money goes in one pot for one and all!

duchy

picklekin wrote: »

To me it all depends on the length and depth of the relationship, when I was younger and had BFs live with me, they paid rent! I charged a fair amount and they didn't see a problem with it, these were more casual young relationships, we didn't have joint accounts or make vows to each other! Now I'm older and I'm married, the same wouldn't apply, we are a partnership, I earn far less than my OH and he wouldn't expect me to pay half the mortgage on the house we bought together, all our money goes in one pot for one and all!

Must be me then- I couldn't equate a "casual" relationship with living with someone. As the OP says the relationship is of 5 years standing they likely aren't teenagers or in a casual relationship. You may have something though- if the OP doesn't want his travelling plans spoiled by splitting up (as he implied in an earlier post) rather than he doesn't want the relationship to end.

FBaby

Agree with duchy again, to me moving in together was the outcome of moving on from a casual relationship to a committed one and thought it was the case for most past studenthood.

yvonne13_2

I'm lost......Have I got this bit right? The girlfriend has rented out her place but they can both stay there if need be??? What type of tenancy agreement is that where a landlord can just move back whenever or have I misunderstood?

Also since when do people rent out their property if it doesn't cover all plus extra to cover the mortgage???

davecon1

Hello to everyone again

Thanks for all your opinions and replies. It looks as if I've stirred up a bit of a hornet's nest.

Just to clarify that the other bedroom is rented out to my brother. He recently sold his place so is staying until they find somewhere. The fact they he pays and my gf has not has not gone unnoticed!

It is also possible for us both to rent another property but (you can probably guess this) she doesn't want to pay towards renting another place!

When I asked what would happen if I were to moved to her place and then not pay any rent she realised her proposal was completely unfair. I honestly think she believes the guy should pay for everything which doesn't say much for equality. Of course if she was at home with children of course I would fully support them.

Will update in a few days but what is normal for couples that own their own places? If renting together I imagine it would be more simple?

icklejulez

We add up our income and share it out based on percentage of income. In our case I bring in 66% so pay 66% of bills. Seems the fairest way.