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Girlfriend refusing to pay towards rent

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  • undaunted
    undaunted Posts: 1,870 Forumite
    HPoirot wrote: »
    You are being taken for a mug and I suspect you know it.

    If, however, she is genuine and it is the principle of a rent that she objects to and not the money, then how about letting her get on with other bills and expenses, all the food for example.

    I agree with the opener here - seems to me she's taking you for a mug.

    I don't think it likely myself but the benefit of the doubt given below that line doesn't seem like a bad suggestion to me if she is genuine & just misunderstood by most posters here
  • undaunted
    undaunted Posts: 1,870 Forumite
    edited 14 May 2014 at 12:43PM
    Fluffi wrote: »
    Regardless of the redundancies, individual property ownership and who has tenants/lodgers if a boyfriend asked me to pay rent I'd refuse.

    I would insist on contributing to all other bills, electric, water, gas, food, insurance, broadband, council tax (the difference between single person and 2 person occupation) but I am not going to contribute to another person's mortgage unless they formally want to be my landlord or else we can have a formal agreement drawn up that recognises my contribution to the mortgage.

    If a boyfriend wanted treat me as a lodger/tenant then route I'd leave him anyway.

    But whilst you may stay over at each others homes at time you surely wouldn't expect to let out your own home move in with him full time & then not pay anything as the posters girlfriend seems to want?

    ETA: She already owns a property I believe so why should she pay for his too? If he can't afford the mortgage maybe he should do what she has done and get a lodger in ;)

    Because she isn't paying for hers - the tennant is - & he has got a "lodger" - just one who isn't paying anything for either home. Great set up if you can find it! ;)
  • Mojisola
    Mojisola Posts: 35,571 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    davecon1 wrote: »
    She also firmly believes that the man should pay for everything regardless of whether she is working or not.

    If I were living in her place she would expect me to pay half if not all the bills.

    She said she would rather change her relationship than change her demands and I'm tired of arguing and rolling over.

    She doesn't love you - she loves your money.
  • getmore4less
    getmore4less Posts: 46,882 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper I've helped Parliament
    davecon1 wrote: »
    We had a big discussion this morning about everything where it looks as if things will come to an end in the near future. I don't feel good about this but there's no point of us being miserable together. She said she would rather change her relationship than change her demands and I'm tired of arguing and rolling over.

    That should have been "pack your bags your out of here NOW".

    Get the place rented or leave your brother in charge to manage lodgers and go traveling.

    No point in getting another job and leaving unless you can find a short term contract.
  • undaunted
    undaunted Posts: 1,870 Forumite
    edited 14 May 2014 at 1:01PM
    jaylee3 wrote: »
    No., I said if he is so hung up on his G/F not paying her way now, how is he going to feel if they get married and have kids and she is not paying her way financially!

    I give up! I think everyone is p*ssed on here tonight!

    That isn't necessarily the way many modern relationships work these days but even if it did it would be a choice they made together having first pooled their assets and not an expectation of some selfish & immature girlfriend who wants to keep her own home, rent it out, work and still live in his home for just £160 p/m - unreasonable & outrageous!!!
  • undaunted
    undaunted Posts: 1,870 Forumite
    jaylee3 wrote: »
    If the OP is so hung up on the fact that his girlfriend isn't paying as much towards the rent as him, I seriously question the relationship. It's not like they only just met, they have been together for years!

    No they haven't - she left him, wanting to pay her own way. ;)

    Having tried that she's seemingly decided she wants to go back to him but will keep her home rent it out & live in his for £160 p/m. Talk about wanting to have your cake and eat it :( Time the poster put his foot down & said enough is enough - share everthing as proper partners or go in my opinion
  • CH27
    CH27 Posts: 5,531 Forumite
    davecon1 wrote: »
    Hello again.

    It's been a few days but it's nice to see that there are still some comments and advice. The last week has been manic as her family came over to stay. She now wants to go on holiday by herself to take a break from everyone. In the past we have always been on holiday together and the cost split about 60:40.

    Regarding the question about counselling we went once and didn't get anywhere. the counsellor said we got had valid points and we were at at stalemate. After we split up I saw a different counsellor for 6 months.

    There was a point about my brother. He doesn't interfere much or poke his nose in. They have argued but then again I also argue with him.

    Just after my last post I asked said that if she has a problem with the 'rent' she could just pay for our food which she agreed to starting next month. She also firmly believes that the man should pay for everything regardless of whether she is working or not. If I were living in her place she would expect me to pay half if not all the bills. When we started going out this was not the case at all but it seems several of her friends have this sort of relationship.

    We had a big discussion this morning about everything where it looks as if things will come to an end in the near future. I don't feel good about this but there's no point of us being miserable together. She said she would rather change her relationship than change her demands and I'm tired of arguing and rolling over.

    I think you're well shut of her. She doesn't want a partnership.
    Try to be a rainbow in someone's cloud.
  • Caroline_a
    Caroline_a Posts: 4,071 Forumite
    davecon1 wrote: »
    Hello again.


    Just after my last post I asked said that if she has a problem with the 'rent' she could just pay for our food which she agreed to starting next month. She also firmly believes that the man should pay for everything regardless of whether she is working or not. If I were living in her place she would expect me to pay half if not all the bills. When we started going out this was not the case at all but it seems several of her friends have this sort of relationship.

    I was absolutely horrified when I read this. Is this girl a timetraveller from Victorian times? I am near retirement and have always paid my way. When a young woman takes this sort of attitude I am ashamed of being female. Does she also believe that women should not be educated, be allowed to vote or have equal pay?

    I think you are being 'rinsed', and her friends sound like spongers too. Get rid.
  • I think Jaylee might have rocks in her head
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