Feeling trapped in relationship

lalaluna

RAS wrote: »

Is there any way you could get a key cut and give it to someone? Then when OH takes you to work, they come in, remove the clothes and get out immediately?

There would be no sign that they had been in at all.

As it stands im not sure when I be able to get it cut. Normally im left to do the school runs on my own and I've been able to use that time to make phone calls like I did with women's aid or pop into the library to photocopy a couple of documents at a time but so far this week the only times im out of his sight are when im at work and when he left me in the car earlier to go jobcentre. He has actually been sitting in the car outside the school entrance while im working and the school only has one entrance so I couldn't even sneak off if I wanted to cos he'd see me. He actually drove off down the road earlier as I was late coming out from dropping youngest off at preschool at lunchtime. He stopped halfway down and didn't bat an eyelid when I got in but it frit the life out of me as my bag was in the car which has ny money, phone etc in but he's getting a bit funny about me taking my bag around with me, even just into work as he claims 'he doesn't see why I need it'.


I might just be paranoid but im worried he can sense somethings up.


I've just finished my emergency bag. I'm going to put it in a bin bag and put it in the garden waste bin which is out the front of the house. My line of thinking is that if he doesnt take us in the morning I can leave the house as normal and then take it with me. Yet another concern is that the bin is next to a footpath so anybody could take it if they wanted but im not sure I someone would actually notice if its in a bin bag? The bins were emptied today so that's not a problem. If I haven't been able to take the bag by Thurs im going to see if a coworker can take it out of the bin for me when she walks her dog. She lives around the corner from me bit I cant remember her door number for the life of me and she's not working tomorrow.


Regarding the refuge: Its quite a distance away but its the closest one. I have a room but there's a chance it could be given away before then. I need to get away from OH on Thurs as I need to meet a sw and phone the refuge but the girls aren't army school as its polling day so going yo have to think up a few more porkies.


Has anyone been in a refuge before? I've no idea what to expect.

Mojisola

lalaluna wrote: »

As it stands im not sure when I be able to get it cut. Normally im left to do the school runs on my own and I've been able to use that time to make phone calls like I did with women's aid or pop into the library to photocopy a couple of documents at a time but so far this week the only times im out of his sight are when im at work and when he left me in the car earlier to go jobcentre. He has actually been sitting in the car outside the school entrance while im working and the school only has one entrance so I couldn't even sneak off if I wanted to cos he'd see me. He actually drove off down the road earlier as I was late coming out from dropping youngest off at preschool at lunchtime. He stopped halfway down and didn't bat an eyelid when I got in but it frit the life out of me as my bag was in the car which has ny money, phone etc in but he's getting a bit funny about me taking my bag around with me, even just into work as he claims 'he doesn't see why I need it'.

I might just be paranoid but im worried he can sense somethings up.

I think you're right.

Do the school realise that his actions are escalating? Would another staff member be able to go out and get a new key cut for you?

Please keep yourself safe. If need be, you can just not leave the safety of the school and call on the women's centre and the police to protect you. The police would also escort you home to collect your bag.

Have you spoken to the police domestic violence team? Are they aware that his behaviour is getting more controlling?

meritaten

can I say you sound very panicked? you seem to think he thinks something is up? then call your DV worker, call a taxi and get out. grab your bag with documents in, get the kids together and just GO! ask for the taxi driver to sound the horn outside and you all leave fast! you have a room you say, so get out NOW! tonight.

Gigervamp

I think you need to go now. Call the police and ask them to get you.

tayforth

Thinking about you, lalaluna. I hope that you're ok.

I agree with you, he does seem to be suspicious.

The sooner you can leave, the better. Can you confide in anyone at work?

As others have said, you can leave at any time. The police would escort you to the house so that you can pick up your things.

Please keep us posted, and stay safe xxxx

meritaten

I am not the only one who thinks you aren't safe. he is being extra vigilant so get out now. get a taxi and call your dv worker from a safe location. somewhere public. train station, bus station, anywhere that has people around.

tiddly

Please please please go!!!

I have been there too and its only when you look back that you see how deep you were in.

The reason why you feel guilty is because he has brainwashed you and he is using your empathetic nature against you......you stay because you pity him.

You need to leave as soon as possible, be safe and get every bit of support you can. Go completely No Contact with him when you have left because he will reel you back in.

There are no excuses people like him do what they do other than they are narcissitic sociopaths......when you are safe and have the time google 'psychopathfree'

But at the moment GO! I was in your position and things ARE incredibly dangerous right now. I know from experience :-(

xxxx

tayforth

How are things, lalaluna? Please let us know that you're ok. Thinking about you tonight xx

teawithmilk

Another one keeping my fingers crossed that you are OK....

tayforth

I'm getting concerned as there's been no update. Hoping and praying that lalaluna is safe somewhere and has no internet access right now.