Feeling trapped in relationship

Gigervamp

Me too.

meritaten

I am hoping this is 'No news is good news'.

djdido2

Thinking of you x

tayforth

Just logged on praying for an update. We are all behind you, lalaluna. Hope that you and your children are safe xxx

lalaluna

Hi all sorry for the no show its been impossible to get on.
currently sat with the girls in a taxi on the way to the refuge. Feel like I'm in some alternative universe, like its not really happening.
OH is clueless, he's still sat outside work waiting for me but I've been told not to tell him until he makes first contact.


he told.me yesterday that if I plan on leaving then I'm on my own. He won't take me back and I wont be taking the girls and ill be miserable and all alone. I actually feel cruel for pretending everything's fine and just taking the girls but he made it quite clear he'd allow no contact with the girls and I wouldn't see them again. He went from really caring to intimidating even when he saw I was shaking and crying then after I said fine ill stay and make it work then he went all kind again and at first he denied his behaviour then changed to I only control you so much for your own good and you need to go to the doctors and get some pills to make you normal


I'm going to have to go now, thank you for all your messages ill try and get back on later x

Mojisola

lalaluna wrote: »

at first he denied his behaviour then changed to I only control you so much for your own good

A comment straight out of the abuser's handbook! So predictable.:(

I'm so relieved to hear that you and the children are safe. The "other world" feeling is natural - your whole life has just been thrown up in the air. It can feel so difficult that going back to him can start to look like an option, especially when he starts telling you he'll change and be nice to you. Don't be taken in by his lies.

Stay strong during this transition period - the end result will be a much better future for you and the girls.

roobee13

Couldn't 'read and run' after reading your thread.

I can't imagine how horrible this situation must have been for you, but well done for taking the first and biggest step and leaving.

Fresh start for you and your girls now, please keep looking forwards and not backwards!!

Good luck to you and your daughters, I wish you all the luck and happiness in the world xx

teawithmilk

Its absolutely natural to feel what you are feeling. You are very brave, remember that, even if you dont feel very brave at the moment....

once you are with the WA staff you will feel a lot safer. They have seen ALL this before. They will be able to give you so much help, with everything. Honestly they will be able to keep you strong and protect you. You will also meet other mums in the same situation and be able to talk to them as well.

You might not have time to come on here much as it will be a bit chaotic over the next few days, but we will be thinking about you...

((((hugs)))))

Gigervamp

Thank goodness you're ok. We were getting worried. Thanks for posting.

Things will be tough for now, but you'll get through it and have a better life.

(hugs)

BigAunty

Yes, it will feel surreal and scary to you - you are not used to making decisions or being duplicitous, that's his way of operating, something that's completely natural to him. You've not been in charge of yourself for sometime thanks to his suffocating behaviour.

What you are probably feeling now is fear due to this huge change that you've made. With time and support, it will evolve into confidence and a sense of liberation.

The shackles have been removed but you are at the start of a new journey. You rightly sense that he will try his best to frustrate you and put you back under his command so even when he is not around, you will probably feel his negative presence.

Over time, both you and he will realise that his threats cannot be turned into reality and that the bonds of enslavement have been permanently broken. Will take some time for this realisation to happen.

Good luck. He will try to grind you down in anyway that he can so be strong.