Feeling trapped in relationship

Mojisola

BigAunty wrote: »

The shackles have been removed

It can take some time for the mental shackles to drop away. That's why you have to stay strong until his control fades away.

tayforth

I am so relieved that you've finally had the enormous courage to leave him, lalaluna. You are a brave and lovely person who has been abused by a cruel man, and yet from the depths of your despair you've found the strength to break free.

You and your girls are safe now, and in the care of kind people. Your life can begin again and it will only get better, I promise. You should be very proud of yourself. We are all proud of you. :T

Please keep posting here for support. There are so many of us who have been in the same situation, we will be here anytime you need us.

Big hugs to you all xxxx

Mojisola wrote: »

A comment straight out of the abuser's handbook! So predictable.:(

I'm so relieved to hear that you and the children are safe. The "other world" feeling is natural - your whole life has just been thrown up in the air. It can feel so difficult that going back to him can start to look like an option, especially when he starts telling you he'll change and be nice to you. Don't be taken in by his lies.

Stay strong during this transition period - the end result will be a much better future for you and the girls.

This is absolutely true. The first few weeks can feel surreal, and it can be difficult to adjust. You're so used to being controlled and abused. You aren't used to being allowed to think for yourself. Your confidence is probably at its lowest point. You can't relax, because you've been walking on eggshells for so long.

This is as a result of the abuse that you have been through, and it's totally normal. Please know that things will get better. You're over the hardest bit now.

meritaten

thanks for posting lalaluna. all I can say is that you have taken a step towards freedom and a 'real' life. one you can call your own. stay strong and let the right people help you.

lalaluna

Thank you all for your support. I couldn't stop crying all day yesterday, not for a specific reason iykwim I just simply couldn't stop. On the flip side I had the best nights sleep I've had for a Lon time.
I was wondering if anyone could advise me on mobile phones. There are no staff in until Tuesday now and most of the residents have gone away for the weekend, which I'm not really complaining about as I'm shy and a bit socially awkward anyway. The girls have settled in fine, eldest says she wants to stay forever lol. They've only asked where daddy is once and I said he didn't want to come and they've not mentioned him since.
anyway I completely waffled there. After I told him I've left he kept texting and texting things like just tell me where you are I love you I miss you I'm sorry and you wouldn't like I if I did this to you. I've been warned he may start threatening next. I turned my phone off. I've had 24 voicemails repeating the above and a message of concern from his brother. What I wanted to know is if I change the sim card can he still trace my whereabouts. The phone is under his Microsoft account and its through a contract under his name. Its a network 3, and the phone is a Nokia Lumia 920. I've turned off any location apps and the find my phone settings but wondered if he could still trace its location and if changing the sim would be enough.
I've been advised to change the sim and I can get one from a pound shop nearby. I cant afford to replace the phone just yet but I want it for emergencies and ideally access to here.


Thank you for your time x

imho

I dont know anything about Windows mobiles but as its under his Microsoft account he might get a email saying the number to the mobile has changed or mobile might be locked to the sim provider.
Have a look on your local ebay selling pages to see if someone is selling a Android mobile cheap or see what Tesco cheapest android mob is.
Good luck.
Plus maybe you could block his number on the Nokia but i think he just use someone elses mobile to try to contact you.

teawithmilk

I am so pleased you are safe and sound! ...and that you got a good sleep, that is so important.

Thinking of you (((lalaluna)))

millysg1

Restore phone to factory settings and get new sim, set it up under your own email address and just throw away the old sim. I cant imagine any way he could track you down using your phone if you did that.

imho

milly i did think that would be the best option but did think husband would get a email saying "do you want to delete this mobile from your account"
anyway heres how to do that .
http://www.nokia.com/us-en/support/faq/?action=singleTopic&topic=FA138860

Gigervamp

If you use a different network, you'll need to get the phone unlocked.

silverwhistle

lalaluna wrote: »

Hi all sorry for the no show its been impossible to get on.

You know, reading that post I've just given a huge sigh of relief..
Well done.