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marriage in trouble
Comments
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Need to delete0
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I suppose you have to question what you are getting out of the marriage and get her to answer what she is getting out of it. As it stands, it sounds a rather poisonous environment for you and your comment about dread going home indicates a major problem. Quite clearly, your personalities do not coexist well at present.
Marriage counselling is one possibility but that would require both you and her to admit that this marriage has problems and that you want to work through them. She seems reluctant to talk to you at the moment but perhaps she might open up in an environment where there's a neutral arbiter for discourse?
But should that not be an option, while ultimatums aren't always a good idea it might be time for one because financial matters aside, your own emotional and mental wellbeing is what is most important. You can't be the husband she is after if she is driving you away and making you fearful after all.0 -
Thank you. All of your comments so far are correct.
I fear that this could be the end but am not sure if I have the courage to finish things.0 -
It does sound like the fact you have little in common is really putting a wedge between you too. She certainly does not act like she loves you. Even when you go through a bad patch and try to work it out because of love, you don't act that exasperated with your partner.
Worringly, you've separated once and getting back together doesn't seem to have worked. I am not sure from reading your comments what changes could take place to make it all ok again. You sound so low in terms of self-esteem, it's heartbreaking to read. I really hope whatever you do, you can feel good about yourself again.0 -
Hi, couldnt read and run - can you not try counselling again? If anything at least you will both be heard since a 3rd party will be present
Also, sounds like you need to sit down and have the big chat as to whether this relationship is working for you both. Tell her that you arent happy. Sometimes honesty is the best policy - you may be surprised by what she has to say.
Sorry wish i could post more now, will check back later..!We got rid of the kids. The cat was allergic.
Debt at LBM (Sep 07): £13,500. Current debt: [STRIKE]£680[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]£480[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]£560[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]£13[/STRIKE] £0 overdraft
Current aims - to start building up savings
1st £1000 in 100 days - £1178.032nd £1053.38/£1000
3rd £863.59/£1000
:j0 -
If this was one of your friends coming to you and telling you what you have told us....What would be your reply?Smart price rocks!0
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Its sounds like your trying hard and failing. I feel for you.
Your actually giving in to her as well, so now she feels she is in control hence saying what she likes, doing what she likes whether you want her too or not she knows the outcome will always end up being what she wants!
Your not happy, you dread going home and you feel its the end I personally think you`d be better off without her. UNLESS you put your foot down and turn this around somehow.
I`d hate to know my husband felt like this, I`d actually be totally ashamed of myself.DebtFree FEB 2010!Slight blip in 2013 - Debtfree Aug 2014 :j
Savings £132/£1000.0 -
Thank you. All of your comments so far are correct.
I fear that this could be the end but am not sure if I have the courage to finish things.
Your unhappy, your basically banging your head against a brick wall trying to sort things out.
You have tried what most do counselling and a trial separation to no avail!
You need to think about yourself now.
Do you want to be living like this for the rest of your life?
Can you see her changing?DebtFree FEB 2010!Slight blip in 2013 - Debtfree Aug 2014 :j
Savings £132/£1000.0 -
The only thing I can think of saying is man up. Maybe that is mean but you are unhappy, it sounds like your wife is unhappy, it sounds like this has been going on for a long time. It takes two to save/make a marriage and life is too short to spend it unhappy/living on eggshells.
Have the conversation. Deal with the situation and either agree positive steps forward together or start to plan separation.
Good luck.0 -
(Life's a B-itch, then you marry one, then you die. End of story.)
Happiness comes from within. You agreed to marry for better or worse so stop complaining and get on with it. Next time she criticises you just give her a hug and tell her you love her (and pay no attention to the criticism inside). Try this for a few weeks and see if things improve.0
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