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marriage in trouble

lonelyguy
lonelyguy Posts: 64 Forumite
Need to delete...sorry
«13456729

Comments

  • savingmummy
    savingmummy Posts: 2,915 Forumite
    Debt-free and Proud!
    That's unkind her picking on things about you to be honest.
    Is it something different about you? Or was she just being `picky`do you think?.
    Had you done the same she would probably be feeling just like you are OR being a women even worse!!

    Have you thought about marriage counselling? Relate? Its not for everyone but worth a shot!!

    You say she don`t like talking which is where the problem lies.
    You need to talk!
    She could be depressed or hiding something that's worrying her ie, debt, not happy at work. etc.

    I would tell her exactly how she has made you feel, and see what she has to say about that.
    DebtFree FEB 2010!
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  • krustylouise
    krustylouise Posts: 1,501 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Hi,

    I couldn't just read and run. Have you spoke to your wife about how you feel? You said you agreed to get back together to see if you could make each other happy, but obviously this isn't happening is it?

    You need to talk!

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  • fivetide
    fivetide Posts: 3,811 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Again for the chat!

    what have you tried? How about 'going on a date'?

    Get out somewhere and have a decent natter somewhere relaxing with nice food. That should put you both in a good mood. You can either talk relationship there or just enjoy the moment but it might help you focus on each other.

    Clearly there is something in it for both of you or you wouldn't have given it another go.
    What if there was no such thing as a rhetorical question?
  • lonelyguy
    lonelyguy Posts: 64 Forumite
    edited 13 May 2014 at 10:40PM
    Need to delete...sorry
  • lonelyguy
    lonelyguy Posts: 64 Forumite
    Sorry about the block text! Wont do that again!
  • lonelyguy
    lonelyguy Posts: 64 Forumite
    edited 13 May 2014 at 10:41PM
    Need to delete
  • savingmummy
    savingmummy Posts: 2,915 Forumite
    Debt-free and Proud!
    edited 23 April 2014 at 11:19AM
    She has said in the past that my voice sends her to sleep when i try to talk and that she wishes i could talk more concisely.

    :(How rude!! She sounds like she is trying to push you away!
    That's the kind of thing you say to your parents when your a teen!!!

    I think you need to think what you want now!
    Your working hard, your at home with her and not messing about socially, you see no reasons for her to be like she is.
    You`ve tried counselling and talking to her.
    You have a trial separation and still your not happy, its only going to continue as it is by the sounds of it :(

    Do you have children? A mortgage? Debts?
    DebtFree FEB 2010!
    Slight blip in 2013 - Debtfree Aug 2014 :j

    Savings £132/£1000.
  • elsien
    elsien Posts: 36,496 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Well if she finds the way you talk difficult (which to be honest sounds like an avoidance mechanism to me, at least in part) then could you try putting your feelings in writing?


    It will give you time to think about what you want to say and how to say it, and you can the avoid the "you make me feel" type of sentence that tends to put people's back's up.
    So instead of saying "you make me feel I can't do anything right" you might say "I feel unappreciated when I'm trying to keep things tidy. Can we compromise on standards we're both happy with?"


    If communication is difficult between you it's all the more important to be able to discuss issues in a way that immediately doesn't put one or other of you on the defensive.
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
  • lonelyguy
    lonelyguy Posts: 64 Forumite
    edited 13 May 2014 at 10:42PM
    Need to delete
  • lonelyguy
    lonelyguy Posts: 64 Forumite
    edited 13 May 2014 at 10:43PM
    Need to delete
This discussion has been closed.
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