marriage in trouble

FBaby

So when you threaten get to go she suddenly finds your communication skills appropriate and is able to listen to you. So why does she says at other times that you have communication problems? Dis she love you and is scared of losing your or is it her life with you she doesn't want to let go?

Melonade

Lonely guy, go and read post 109 and look at what tayforth bolded. Then go and start reading your thread from the beginning. Not the advice given, just what you have written.

What ever you decide make sure YOU have decided and not had the decision made for you.

Only you know your wife properly and while it's easy for us to sit here and see it in black and white I know it's different when feelings are involved.

Good luck to you both.

lonelyguy

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lonelyguy

Need to delete

claire21

What attracted you to her in the first place? Can any of that be brought back into the marriage?

lonelyguy

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lonelyguy

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Idiophreak

lonelyguy wrote: »

some things like the intimacy she has said that she has been thinking about it lately. The thing is, I have been waiting four and a half years for this to happen. Even if she were to change I dont know if I could get over how long it has taken. I would never force someone to be intimate by the way.

It sounds like your relationship is lacking general intimacy, though...much beyond having sex?

It's normal in a relationship for your sex life to go up and down - but kissing, cuddling, holding hands, scratching each others' backs (both literally and figuratively ), telling the other person you love them...This kind of stuff isn't about libido, it's about bonding with the other person, closeness, that kinda stuff.

lonelyguy

Need to delete

marisco_2

Does all this go on behind closed doors? How does your wife treat and interact with other people? Is she friendly, approachable, calm, caring, open, forthcoming, communicative, affectionate, generous, able to show interest in friends, family, acquaintances? I've noticed that you mention she is out and about regularly with her friends. So it is fair to assume she can make and maintain positive relationships when she wants to. Are you the only one who sees this other side to her?