Why Are More Couples Splitting Up These Days?

sulphate

Here's another reason: many people marry for the wrong reasons (so in love but have nothing in common with the person/don't share the same values and life goals) and then realise once the honeymoon period is over that they were looking for the wrong characteristics in a spouse.

That and they don't realise relationships can take work sometimes and it's not all about champagne and roses.

Buzzybee90

Your list is pretty bias... And makes a lot of assumptions.

I'm sure they will infuriate people more so than me but I'd take shelter OP.

**professor~yaffle**

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

Your list is pretty bias... And makes a lot of assumptions.

I'm sure they will infuriate people more so than me but I'd take shelter OP.

I suspect the reason for them posting it here on the womens board rather than on Discussion Time was to stir up as much bile as possible :rotfl:

I can almost see the steam coming off people's keyboards as they type their replies.

catkins

I guess there are many reasons but I do think people often don't try very hard now to make a marriage work. Of course sometimes it's best to split up but some couples seem to split at the first problem. Marriage is never going to be all rosy and wonderful and unless you are very very lucky there are going to be problems. If you both love each other though you should be able usually to work through the problems.


I know couples who have married thinking along the lines of "well if it doesn't work we can divorce". Well yes you can but you should be so much in love when you get married that should not really occur to you.


I know couples who never talking about things before they got married and then split up because they find they want different things. I know of a few couples where one wanted children and the other didn't but they had never even discussed children before they got married. They all ended up divorced.

marisco_2

To my mind the main cause of relationships breaking up, are when people rush in and go from first date to living together in the blink of an eye, barely knowing who they now share their bed and life with. Then there are the other major deal breakers; infidelity, abuse (emotional, physical, sexual or a combination of all three), past problems or fears interfering in a current relationship, people not making their relationship a priority and lack of honest and open communication.

jaylee3

Can't quote you all, but...

Posts 8, 9, 10, 11 12, 15, 16: all spot on

GREAT reasons. And so true, in many cases.

All the posts actually, are pretty good.

Bluebell68

because people are people
we all have Good parts
we all have Bad parts
Life is life can be great 1 day
next day you can be flat on your backside

sulphate

To add another reason, abuse (mental, physical, sexual, verbal).

Too many people stay in abusive relationships even nowadays, for many different reasons (financial, sense of duty, etc). If children are brought into equation they then grow up in an abusive environment, may presume it's normal on some level and the cycle is in danger of continuing.

paulineb_2

anotheruser wrote: »

I'd like to hear your thoughts on why more couples are splitting up these days?

Here's some thoughts:

• Not bothering to get married to begin with?
• The hot discussion about having separate bank accounts?
• Kids having kids, father feels he has to stay but doesn't actually LOVE the mother?
• Lack of a faith, leading to promiscuity/lack of self-respect?
• Bank of Mum and Dad providing for their child through University so the student learns less about being responsible?
• Career driven women who don't start families until late, then feel they can't leave their career?
• Men who don't feel they are as responsible for providing for their family?
• Housing problem, leading to couples having children to get a bigger house, then when they are sorted, realising they were having children just to get a bigger house.

While I am sure nobody plans to get divorced or separated from their partner, I am sure a number of little things make it more likely than not.
There is no denying there are clear patterns, but what do you think is the main cause?

PLEASE AT LEAST *TRY* AND BE RESPECTFUL IN RESPONSES.

Lmao, Ive known religious people whose knickers have been up and down more often than a yo yo. Promiscuity/lack of self respect has nothing to do with how religious you are.

Given the divorce rate, Id wonder why anyone thinks that not bothering to get married would lead to people staying together than if they didnt.

One of my closest friends has been with his partner for 15 years and they are getting married next year, lack of marriage hasn't caused any problem in their relationship.

The bank of mum and dad post doesn't make sense to me at all, why would that lead to people splitting up?

Loving the disclaimer at the end asking people to be respectful when you've just posted a load of statements that you know are going to be controversial. Im glad that I dont judge how often someone sleeps with people or who those people are depending on whether they worship or not. How disrespecful.

PS, the last time I looked, married and religious people had affairs as well

I thought I had been transported to planet stepford then, when everything was 1952 and women stayed at home and had a hot meal ready for their man after darning their socks all day, but no, it still seems to be 2014

Oh shucks, women work as well these days, some even LIKE it:rotfl:

jackomdj

As someone above said, it is more socially acceptable.

My parents are still unhappily together. My Dad would have had a much better life had he not stayed with my Mum (so would we if it happened when we were younger), but he was brought up in a time when people stay together. I am sure I will get comments, but I do know exactly how he feels as I have spoken at length with him.

I was married for 18 months, he walked out on me, came back, went again and I thought to myself do I deserve to live this life? I told him if he walked through the door that was the end.

A year later I met a wonderful man, we moved in very quickly (but it all felt right) we will have been together 18 years next bank holiday.

I think there are a lot of reasons why things end, but often it is better to end something than stay together for the wrong reasons.