My [long string of expletives] family.

b_girl

Haha love your way of writing. I read it with the voice of mark from the peep show in my head oddly enough. The nerve of them to just turn up like that! I wish I could stand up to some of my family like that!

margaretclare

I hope your Mum enjoyed her weekend in the Lake District. It was fortuitous that she was away, maybe she should think of Christmas away in future?

We were up before dawn for the 5.30 am Easter Sunday service. I'm very glad no one would ever dream of doing to us what has been done to your mum and you over the years.

Tropez

FBaby wrote: »

Do you really make every accounter with your family so dramatic every time?

If you are referring solely to my style of writing, I make no secret that somewhere inside me is an author trying desperately to get out - hence the creative writing classes I've been taking since last September

If you are referring to the events themselves then I think you and I have different definitions of dramatic.

I have many, many character flaws - I swear like a docker with tourettes, I'm prone to daydreaming when I should be paying attention, I find 90% of life is nothing more than an obstacle and to be quite honest, I'm quite an angry individual.

But one day, I decided that instead of simply yelling at people, those oft-occurring irritations in my life would instead be turned into a source of amusement for myself. It's hard to stay too mad about something if when you think of the situation you find yourself chuckling instead.

So when I'm awoken by the unexpected intrusion of family members who have made it no secret over the past thirty years that they feel that due to my adopted status I am some inheritance-stealing !!!!!!! son of someone who couldn't wait to ditch me, expecting to use my house as their base camp for well, whatever, yes, I get angry.

So before I started utilising sarcasm and my rather bizarre, often offensive sense of humour to tackle such bothersome occurrences, I may have shouted at them and caused a bit of a ruckus. Nowadays, as I say, I turn it around and use such situations to provide me with something to giggle about.

Dramatic to me would be the slanging match, maybe even fisticuffs and pistols at dawn. This on the other hand was cathartic and I haven't really given them a second-thought since Saturday afternoon. They called the house once, I ignored it.

All of this could have been avoided had they not treated me like something that they stepped on since I was a kid and/or had the courtesy to alert me to their plans and see if I could accommodate (rather than using my wife's injury as an excuse - that's probably more annoying than anything else about this tale, truth be told).

I don't see myself as being the one who makes the problem as they don't exist in my monkeysphere; they don't really exist in my life for the majority of the time.

I've permitted them to stay at my house previously because it's a big house and I don't have to see them much and I really can't be bothered having a row with mum a few days before Christmas. Turning up unannounced though after their rather extreme reaction to a cordial notice that I wouldn't be here this past Christmas? Well that's just poor form, isn't it?

Debt_Free_Chick

Tropez wrote: »

Well I can't quite recall it all now because of the silly relatives and the several hours that have passed but as I recall there were several of us in the first place I worked but the people there were various people I knew from different areas of my life (I think the teacher I had a crush on in Y7 was there).

Anyway, they were trying to do... something or other, and these kangaroos were in the office, jumping up and down on everything and making an absolute nuisance of themselves and a mess of the place. Everyone else was terrified or angry but I was sitting in a chair laughing at all the mayhem. One of the kangaroos was even wearing a suit I think.

Absolutely random but very enjoyable. I wanted to know where that dream was going... why is it always the interesting dreams that never get resolved because something wakes you up?

Sounds to me like the kangaroos were the relatives who turned up to wreck your lie-in:rotfl::rotfl:

Tropez

Tiglath wrote: »

Have you told your Mum not to offer your place to stay for the family? Seems to me that's where at least part of the blame lies; she shouldn't see your home as the family hotel.

I have, yes.

The issue lies in the fact that my mum is a kindly soul, who always looks for the good in everything. I'm sure if she spent thirty minutes talking with David Berkowitz she could have something pleasant to say about him.

She also has the memory of a goldfish.

What would happen would be that relatives phone up and somehow during the conversation she would utter something along the lines of "Oh I'm sure he wouldn't mind" and that would be that. I would tell her that I would prefer it if in future she wouldn't just pimp my house out like it were a three dollar call-girl but just go along with it.

Then between Christmas and whatever day it was in December when they make their grand announcement she'd forget I'd told her not to do this and for my part, I would forget they even exist (see the monkeysphere) and forget to remind my mum to tell them to jog on until she's already made the deal.

At that point it kinda becomes a fight I can't be bothered to have.

Tropez

Mojisola wrote: »

Do you think this will be the last time they visit or will they forget about your tirade the next time they want a free hotel?

Well they may forget but seeing how creeped out they are about this type of thing, I thought I might try and acquire one of these to greet them at the door!

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/video-lap-dancing-sexy-robot-3385533

Will probably have to sell the car, a kidney and my Xbox but it'd be worth it, don't you think?

Mojisola

Tropez wrote: »

Well they may forget but seeing how creeped out they are about this type of thing, I thought I might try and acquire one of these to greet them at the door!

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/video-lap-dancing-sexy-robot-3385533

Will probably have to sell the car, a kidney and my Xbox but it'd be worth it, don't you think?

:eek::eek::eek:................

itsanne

Tropez wrote: »

Well they may forget but seeing how creeped out they are about this type of thing, I thought I might try and acquire one of these to greet them at the door!

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/video-lap-dancing-sexy-robot-3385533

Will probably have to sell the car, a kidney and my Xbox but it'd be worth it, don't you think?

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: :eek:

CruisingSaver

Hi Tropez


I've nothing to say other than I love your writing style, hilarious! Mrs Tropez is a very lucky lady


CS

FBaby

If you are referring solely to my style of writing, I make no secret that somewhere inside me is an author trying desperately to get out - hence the creative writing classes I've been taking since last September

If you are referring to the events themselves then I think you and I have different definitions of dramatic.

Well that is kind of what I am wondering! If indeed, you are making a fun to read story out of your family life, then fine, but after reading the whole saga about the wedding, it made me wonder.

You mentioned that same issue then, going on about them coming to yours uninvited, so I'm not to clear why it wasn't made clear then that they were not welcome to stay over once and for all. Or if they are ignoring you, then surely it is easy to keep the door close, especially if they know that you are inside and they will get the message then.

Dramatic writing is entertaining and good on you if you want to take it further, but I know people who act like this in real life, and their constant moaning about others and need to be the centre of attention is exhausting.