Brother wants us to babysit niece but dictates where we can take her

greenbee

Person_one wrote: »

When I have my nieces or nephews, I don't provide an itinerary for the day to be pre-approved by their parents. I might mention what I was thinking of doing, or I might end up taking them out somewhere on impulse or because I see something advertised online that they'd enjoy, or a friend gets in touch suggesting a meet up with their children.

Are babysitters supposed to have a timetable and not take the kids anywhere without express permission?

My brother assumes I will take his kids out and about, and when they came over last time left a car (mine, with car seats in, was in the garage due to a breakdown) in case I wanted to take them out. I was more concerned about the need to have a car and seats in case I needed to go to A&E (given that they are 2 and 3 it isn't an unreasonable expectation).

When I only had one car seat in my car, he always used to leave a second one when he left the children, for the same reason. I've never needed to take them to hospital, but I'd rather know that I can.

shop-to-drop

If I was Grandma and if agreeing to babysit meant I could make no other plans for that day I would be very reluctant to agree to babysit more than very occasionally.

POPPYOSCAR

I am with the brother on this.

I read it that he asked his mother to babysit before the trip to the seaside was arranged. He may well of asked his mother if she was doing anything over the weekend before he asked.

It is his perogative if he does not want for whatever reason his baby to go the seaside and yes I do think he can dictate what happens to his child whilst in their care and if they do not like it they should decline to babysit.

Whenever we babysit for our grandchildren we always ask first before we do anything with them and always follow the wishes of their parents.

whitewing

The grandchild won't be a baby for that long and most parents ease off on expectations as a child gets older.

KateBob

I've got to say we know little about this families dynamics to be making sweeping statements, so I can only state what I would have done.

I would never have asked someone I didn't trust completely to babysit and I would expect them to use their judgement about what to do.

I wouldn't expect them to have to miss out on a day trip with other family because I'd asked for a favour (a gig and shopping trip is a treat not a right after all).

Even without all this I certainly wouldn't leave a child without a carseat just in case of emergencies.

BigAunty

Not supplying a car seat does actually ensure that the grandparents are stuck in the house all day, barred from undertaking even short local trips. That does feel a bit controlling.

Valli

spendingmad wrote: »

They are going to leave her with my mum without a car seat - coz they don't want her going anywhere without them.

This is really silly IMO - suppose there is some kind of emergency which means the child MUST be transported somewhere?

I know others have made this point.

Person_one

Kate/Bob wrote: »

Even without all this I certainly wouldn't leave a child without a carseat just in case of emergencies.

Giving them the benefit of the doubt, if they're only just starting to leave the baby for longer periods/overnight, they might just not have realised that where child goes, car seat must also go.

sulkisu

BigAunty wrote: »

Not supplying a car seat does actually ensure that the grandparents are stuck in the house all day, barred from undertaking even short local trips. That does feel a bit controlling.

Perhaps they have a pushchair.

BigAunty

sulkisu wrote: »

Perhaps they have a pushchair.

Fantastic, that gives them a 2k radius to the house for a stroll over Easter....