Brother wants us to babysit niece but dictates where we can take her

claire16c

A baby getting hot or crawling into the sea?

The weather forecast for where I am in the south east is 15c! Not 30c!

I have a new baby who I am happy to leave with my parents, if I thought they were silly enough to not look after her properly on a day trip like letting her crawl into the sea I wouldn't be trusting them full stop! How ridiculous.

Even an older child could probably do this let alone 3 adults!!

Person_one

spendingmad wrote: »

My brother ask mum to babysit, she contacted me to ask my plans knowing it was Easter and I said not a problem we would sleep elsewhere but go out for the day together. This was 2/3 weeks ago. Brother is going shopping in city center then onto a gig. I suggested he skips the shopping and we would be back 5ish for mum to have baby but that won't work apparently.

It is a 50minute/1hour drive to coast
Beach is within nature area so we would spend an hour max on beach followed by walk around nature reserve.
We would then go to nearby seaside town to go to park/gardens/prom.
We would probably be out 5 hours max - but want to go late morning to get back and not upset bedtime routine etc.
We are all very responsible and if he doesn't trust my mum to look after her he shouldnt ask her to babysit.

If they are nervous parents they A - shouldn't leave her or B - get over it and stop being selfish!

That sounds like a really nice day out for a little one with his granny, auntie and cousins.

Is your brother used to having his mum at his beck and call?

GBNI

Have all the plans been explained to your brother? I agree with Person_One, that sounds like a lovely day for a little one with lots to see.

FBaby

CH27 wrote: »

You are being selfish too by wanting your plans to take precedence over your brother's wishes.

Totally disagree with this statement. OP lives 100 miles away, is making the effort to do the drive to visit her parents so her children can spend time with the grand parents. Surely that should take precedence over the brother who clearly lives closely and see his mum and dad regularly.


I think the brother is extremely selfish to ruin a family afternoon because he thinks that shopping is more important. It sounds to me like he is just using his parents as babysitters, good enough to look after their grand child at home.


The only reason I could understand is if he was worried about his parent's driving and didn't want to upset his parents (or having to argue with them about their driving) but in that case, he should respect the fact that his parents might want to spend a day out with their other grand children and forget about the shopping.

whitewing

Could you travel up tonight and go to the beach on Good Friday and do something within walkable distance on Easter Saturday. I think your poor mother won't be able to do right for doing wrong by someone.

I think in these situations there is too much emotion and no one is entirely right.

fabforty

As the babysitting was arranged first, I find your title is misleading. It makes it sound as if he asked you to babysit but then dictated what you could do while she was in your care, which of course would be unreasonable. Whereas (if I understand this correctly) he asked your mum to babysit, which she had already agreed to before making plans with you. Without knowing his reasons for not wanting his daughter to go, it's hard to say whether he is being unreasonable or not.

shop-to-drop

Person_one wrote: »

That sounds like a really nice day out for a little one with his granny, auntie and cousins.

Is your brother used to having his mum at his beck and call?

I think this is exactly it. Mum needs to nip this in the bud and let them see she has other children and a life other than babysitting for new grandchild.

I get the feeling this is the first and only grandchild and they feel she should be the centre of grandma's universe. I'm also guessing that they live locally and see grandma regularly whereas she only gets to see you when you have a free weekend to visit.

If Mum let's them dictate she will never be able to break free from being constantly expected to fit in with any plans they have or risk a big upset. Best put them in their place now so they know mum's not a pushover.

supersaver2

shop-to-drop wrote: »

I think this is exactly it. Mum needs to nip this in the bud and let them see she has other children and a life other than babysitting for new grandchild.

I get the feeling this is the first and only grandchild and they feel she should be the centre of grandma's universe. I'm also guessing that they live locally and see grandma regularly whereas she only gets to see you when you have a free weekend to visit.

If Mum let's them dictate she will never be able to break free from being constantly expected to fit in with any plans they have or risk a big upset. Best put them in their place now so they know mum's not a pushover.

Heck talk about a presumptuous post! Lots of guessing and imagining going on. Do you know this family?

fabforty

OP says that she has children, so this won't be the first and only grandchild.

shop-to-drop

fabforty wrote: »

OP says that she has chidren, so this won't be the first and only grandchild.

Yes just realised that. In a way that makes it worse that they expect Grandma to prioritise the new grandchild over the older ones that they get to see less often.

Not as if they even have plans that couldn't easily be changed.