Brother wants us to babysit niece but dictates where we can take her

supersaver2

shop-to-drop wrote: »

Yes just realised that. In a way that makes it worse that they expect Grandma to prioritise the new grandchild over the older ones that they get to see less often.

Not as if they even have plans that couldn't easily be changed.

Where does it say how often Grandparents get to see either baby or older grandkids? How do you know they see the baby more?

shop-to-drop

supersaver2 wrote: »

Heck talk about a presumptuous post! Lots of guessing and imagining going on. Do you know this family?

Maybe, I certainly have witnessed many with similar dynamics!

FBaby

Whereas (if I understand this correctly) he asked your mum to babysit, which she had already agreed to before making plans with you.

But the grand mother hasn't changed her mind, she has just indicated that she wishes to take the baby out whilst she is babysitting.

double_mummy

grandparents obviously managed to keep their own children alive long enough for them to have kids

grandparents need to set the precedent now to show how this will work from now on with them babysitting but it is totally down to them what relationship they want with the brother and the OP

Bennifred

I'm with the brother on this one.
If he's asked his mother to have the baby and she's agreed with no mention that she's then going to organise to have a day out with other family then I don't blame him for being put out.

fabforty

shop-to-drop wrote: »

Yes just realised that. In a way that makes it worse that they expect Grandma to prioritise the new grandchild over the older ones that they get to see less often.

Not as if they even have plans that couldn't easily be changed.

You see, I don't really see it that way (i.e. him expecting Grandma to put his child first). Perhaps he just expects her to do what she agreed to first - babysit. Apparently he is going to a gig, so assuming he has tickets it won't necessarily be easy to change his plans. OP says nothing about how often their mum sees their respective children. Again without knowing why they don't want the daughter to go, it is all speculation (they might have good reasons) but if the arrangement between him and his mother was made first, I personally think that is the one that she should stick to.

FBaby

I personally find it incredibly rude to expect grand parents to baby sit (for free) their grand children but imposed what they can do during that time, especially when it means giving up on a special day out. What don't they pay a babysitter if they want to make a list of rules.

balletshoes

Whilst I would not have been at all upset if my mum had agreed to babysit for me and then arranged a trip out with the baby while she was babysitting, not all parents feel the same, and as we still don't know (as the OP doesn't appear to know) why her brother objects to the trip for his child, I don't think theres much point going round in circles about it.

If its to do with anyone, its really up to gran, as she's the one who agreed to babysit, to attempt to get to the bottom of any problem her son has with her taking her grandchild on an outing (or this particular outing) while she's babysitting for him.

FBaby

You see, I don't really see it that way (i.e. him expecting Grandma to put his child first). Perhaps he just expects her to do what she agreed to first - babysit

which she is still doing. The issue is not with the gig since they suggested they only bring the baby after 5pm but he wants to go shopping and doesn't want to be bothered with a baby whilst doing so. After all, it is not an activity he can't do with the baby.


What we don't know is he has ever indicated that he would never want his parents to take their baby out in any circumstances.

FatVonD

FBaby wrote: »

which she is still doing. The issue is not with the gig since they suggested they only bring the baby after 5pm but he wants to go shopping and doesn't want to be bothered with a baby whilst doing so. After all, it is not an activity he can't do with the baby.

I'm assuming that the gig and shopping are both taking place in another town which isn't their home town and that's why they aren't taking the baby not that they 'don't want to be bothered with a baby' whilst doing so.