Brother wants us to babysit niece but dictates where we can take her

Person_one

spendingmad wrote: »

We had plans to go on a day trip to the seaside on the Saturday so my mum asked if my brother could drop her DGD off a few hours earlier so we could all go together

It looks to me like the beach plans were in place before the babysitting request.

Tiddlywinks

I can understand the parents' concerns... Babysitting at home and a trip to the park is one thing, a road trip to the coast is entirely different. The level of trust required is higher as is the level of care and attention from the sitter.

I agree with the previous poster who asked what came first.... the agreement to babysit or planning to go to the seaside?

If your mum agreed to babysit first then I can see they would be upset to have things changed. If the trip was planned first then the parents should have been warned of that.

Parents worry - it's their job... I can see their concerns.

Cloudydaze

delain wrote: »

The 10 month old is more than capable of crawling to the water and could drown in seconds... are you really going to watch her like a hawk every single second (and on a beach THAT WOULD be required)

I'm trying to imagine a scenario where 3 adults and 2 older children (who one would assume would take an interest in their baby cousin's welfare) wouldn't notice a 10 mth old crawling out towards the sea!

Tiddlywinks

Cloudydaze wrote: »

I'm trying to imagine a scenario where 3 adults and 2 older children (who one would assume would take an interest in their baby cousin's welfare) wouldn't notice a 10 mth old crawling out towards the sea!

Sadly, it happens more on holidays or where there are more people as there are more distractions and everyone can assume someone else has the baby... especially as the parents won't be there.

mummyroysof3

Cloudydaze wrote: »

I'm trying to imagine a scenario where 3 adults and 2 older children (who one would assume would take an interest in their baby cousin's welfare) wouldn't notice a 10 mth old crawling out towards the sea!

Maybe so but not much fun for a baby who doesn't understand they can't go wherever they want so therefore screams and gets sat in pushchair. A 10 month old will enjoy the beach for a sort while but then may get hot and bothered and fed up in my experience so to me it would depend on what else is planned and measures to in place to ensure the baby isn't going to be seen as spoiling a trip if it has to be cut short. The parents either let the baby go or look after it them selfs so the grandparents can go.

Mojisola

spendingmad wrote: »

They are going to leave her with my mum without a car seat - coz they don't want her going anywhere without them.

Person_one wrote: »

It looks to me like the beach plans were in place before the babysitting request.

If that's the case then the child's parents should be changing their plans or finding another babysitter.

Controlling what Gran does by not leaving a car seat isn't acceptable.

mummyroysof3

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

Sadly, it happens more on holidays or where there are more people as there are more distractions and everyone can assume someone else has the baby... especially as the parents won't be there.

I agree. Someone always thinks someone else will watch baby when in a group

Nicki

If I trusted someone to look after my baby I would trust them to look after her anywhere. Accidents can happen at home as easily as outdoors.

I have to say as a very laid back parent of 3 children I have never ever been sufficiently far away from a 10 month old in my care when out of doors not to notice if they were crawling off a picnic rug, much less all the way across the beach into the sea! The mind boggles that some people would allow this to happen. But if OP and her family are completely irresponsible half wits then the parents have a point. Nothing on OP's post to suggest they are though and it sounds to me like one sibling trying to put a spoke in another siblings time with their parents.

delain

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

Sadly, it happens more on holidays or where there are more people as there are more distractions and everyone can assume someone else has the baby... especially as the parents won't be there.

That's what I was getting at and you've explained it much better than I could have, thanks :T

I have 5 children ranging from secondary age to toddlers and NONE of them could be relied upon to watch a baby at the beach, they'd be too busy doing their own thing, and actually even 8 and 11 year olds take a lot of attention in their own right.

pollyanna24

If the reason the parents don't want the baby going to the beach is because they think it might crawl into the sea and the grandparents not noticing, then maybe they shouldn't be asking them to look after the child at all because I'm also guessing they won't notice anything happening even if the baby and all stays at home, i.e. it might crawl into the oven for example, or the washing machine and no one notices.