Brother wants us to babysit niece but dictates where we can take her

Mojisola

Nicki wrote: »

If I trusted someone to look after my baby I would trust them to look after her anywhere. Accidents can happen at home as easily as outdoors.

But what any of us would do is irrelevant.

This baby's parents don't want her to be taken out for the day.

If the reasons they are giving don't seem good, maybe it's because they don't want to say the real reason - X is an awful driver, Y always teases the baby and gets her upset, etc.

CH27

Has your brother given any reasons as to why they don't want her to go anywhere without them?
Are they nervous parents? Has baby been ill or anything?

19lottie82

delain wrote: »

I
The 10 month old can't be trusted not to eat sand or dog ends/rubbish left behind on the beach
the 10 month old is way too young for typical 'seaside' amusements so will be stuck in a buggy bored rigid if thats your plan
The 10 month old is more than capable of crawling to the water and could drown in seconds... are you really going to watch her like a hawk every single second (and on a beach THAT WOULD be required)
Would the 10 month old be in the sun for excessive amounts of time?

I'm sure the OP and her family can be trusted to look after a 10 month old baby. The world is not baby proofed, and full of dangers everywhere, but people get by.

And I'm sure they would also include plenty of interaction with the little one rather than leaving her in her buggy the whole time.

Keeping a baby out of the sun isn't really the hardest job in the world either.

Nicki

Mojisola wrote: »

But what any of us would do is irrelevant.

This baby's parents don't want her to be taken out for the day.

If the reasons they are giving don't seem good, maybe it's because they don't want to say the real reason - X is an awful driver, Y always teases the baby and gets her upset, etc.

The OP is asking whether the parents behaviour is reasonable so the normal response of other parents is surely highly relevant? If the issue is that the grandparents are poor drivers it is also IMO crazy to want to leave the baby there for 21 hours as there are any number of situations where they may need to go out by car during that length of time. Being confined to home for a few hours is different to being stuck in all day and all night.

Nicki

Is everyone expecting a very different Easter to me by the way? It is sunny and pleasant here today (south East England) but by no means hot. The chance of sunburn or sunstroke is non existent here anyway nor is it warm enough to be sitting on a beach without a warm coat and some hot drinks

Mojisola

Nicki wrote: »

The OP is asking whether the parents behaviour is reasonable so the normal response of other parents is surely highly relevant?

To what end? So she can say to her brother that he's being unreasonable because lots of parents on MSE would let their child be taken out for the day? That's not likely to change his mind!

If the issue is that the grandparents are poor drivers it is also IMO crazy to want to leave the baby there for 21 hours as there are any number of situations where they may need to go out by car during that length of time. Being confined to home for a few hours is different to being stuck in all day and all night.

We've no idea whether he's worried about the driving but, if he is, he might not mind local trips while a drive to the coast on a Bank Holiday weekend is a very different prospect.

Also, there are other ways of taking leaving the house apart from getting in a car - the child wouldn't have to be "confined" for a whole day and a night.

Person_one

Nicki wrote: »

Is everyone expecting a very different Easter to me by the way? It is sunny and pleasant here today (south East England) but by no means hot. The chance of sunburn or sunstroke is non existent here anyway nor is it warm enough to be sitting on a beach without a warm coat and some hot drinks

It was sunny enough to burn without suncream here in the north west last weekend. You never know!

Nicki

There might not however be other ways of getting to the hospital with the baby if one grandparent was taken very ill in the night and the other did not want just to wave them off in an ambulance. Or to get to the local shops to buy extra nappies or formula milk if granny dropped the tin and spilled it on the floor or ripped the sticky tab off the last nappy while grandpa was out playing golf. Just two examples of where not being able to drive with a small child you are looking after for a large number of hours would be a major inconvenience depending on where you live.

spendingmad

My brother ask mum to babysit, she contacted me to ask my plans knowing it was Easter and I said not a problem we would sleep elsewhere but go out for the day together. This was 2/3 weeks ago. Brother is going shopping in city center then onto a gig. I suggested he skips the shopping and we would be back 5ish for mum to have baby but that won't work apparently.

It is a 50minute/1hour drive to coast
Beach is within nature area so we would spend an hour max on beach followed by walk around nature reserve.
We would then go to nearby seaside town to go to park/gardens/prom.
We would probably be out 5 hours max - but want to go late morning to get back and not upset bedtime routine etc.
We are all very responsible and if he doesn't trust my mum to look after her he shouldnt ask her to babysit.

If they are nervous parents they A - shouldn't leave her or B - get over it and stop being selfish!

CH27

spendingmad wrote: »

My brother ask mum to babysit, she contacted me to ask my plans knowing it was Easter and I said not a problem we would sleep elsewhere but go out for the day together. This was 2/3 weeks ago. Brother is going shopping in city center then onto a gig. I suggested he skips the shopping and we would be back 5ish for mum to have baby but that won't work apparently.

It is a 50minute/1hour drive to coast
Beach is within nature area so we would spend an hour max on beach followed by walk around nature reserve.
We would then go to nearby seaside town to go to park/gardens/prom.
We would probably be out 5 hours max - but want to go late morning to get back and not upset bedtime routine etc.
We are all very responsible and if he doesn't trust my mum to look after her he shouldnt ask her to babysit.

If they are nervous parents they A - shouldn't leave her or B - get over it and stop being selfish!

You are being selfish too by wanting your plans to take precedence over your brother's wishes.