Brother wants us to babysit niece but dictates where we can take her

shegirl

Fleago wrote: »

OP clearly states that the grandmother discussed it with her before confirming to the brother that she could babysit. It wasn't the case that the babysitting had been agreed and OP stuck her oar in and changed everything.

Yes it is.The beach was not planned.it was planned for the op to 'go out and visit' the grandparents and niece.This has now become all going to the beach and requesting the baby is dropped off a few hours earlier or hours later than originally arranged weeks ago-to suit the op!

FatVonD

Fleago wrote: »

OP clearly states that the grandmother discussed it with her before confirming to the brother that she could babysit. It wasn't the case that the babysitting had been agreed and OP stuck her oar in and changed everything.

She didn't discuss a day trip to the seaside at that point, at that point they were 'visiting' the mother on that day.

duchy

Sounds to me like the OP is jealous of her brother and a bit resentful.
The first time I left my son overnight I wouldn't have been happy if they'd wanted to cart him everywhere. There are 4 days of Easter why MUST the beach trip be one of the two your parents have the baby?
I think you need to learn a bit of respect for other parents rather than assume your way is the only right way.

Your Mum and brother made plans how about you butt out and stop demanding everyone changes to fit in with what you want and plan the beach for a day your parents are free and quit trying to cause a rift between you mum and your brother and his family. It isn't all about you!

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Nicki wrote: »

I shouldn't have thought so no given that OP says the brother lives a 10 minute drive away. So how is the baby getting to the grandparents house if not strapped in the said car seat. The grandparent would have no need to remind them to bring one with them as it would already be in their car when they arrive with the baby strapped in it!

Thinking about it, maybe it's a lot less nerve wracking leaving a baby overnight for the first time if you can suddenly decide to go back to get them easily? After all, it's only ten minutes away, not much of a distance if Mum can't wait to get her baby back. And being only ten minutes, it would be easier to convince herself not to go back early.

First time the exMIL suggested staying at hers so we could get some sleep and she'd do the nighttime shift, I couldn't sleep at all, and that was being in the same house. The first time she was left overnight, I hated every moment away. That must be even harder when it's suddenly become a hundred miles away all day and then overnight on top.

Reason and instinct don't always go hand in hand, not with babies.

Move on a few years and I was grateful for the break as DD went to stay with her Dad after we split up. But I was still lost for the first weekends, and then there was the first holiday - oh, how anxious can you be? No mobile phones then, and when I switched on the news to distract myself, there was a multicar pileup on the motorway they were travelling on _pale_.


Not everybody feels like that, but lots do, especially if PND has manifested as anxiety about the baby.

FatVonD

Nicki wrote: »

I shouldn't have thought so no given that OP says the brother lives a 10 minute drive away. So how is the baby getting to the grandparents house if not strapped in the said car seat. The grandparent would have no need to remind them to bring one with them as it would already be in their car when they arrive with the baby strapped in it!

How about substituting 'leave us the car seat' instead of 'bring' then?

Rev

Seriously. If someone asked me to look after their child overnight but didn't trust me to take said child out for the day I'd tell them to jog on. And saying they won't leave a car seat so they can't take the baby out is extremely cheeky.

You can do us a favour by babysitting and we'll dictate how you spent your time whilst doing so. I don't think so. I'd there's so many reasons for her to not go the beach. There's just as many reasons why she shouldn't be left overnight with someone.


If I were the OP's mum I'd simply say. She comes the beach, as was the plan. Or you find another sitter. Simple.

balletshoes

Rev wrote: »

Seriously. If someone asked me to look after their child overnight but didn't trust me to take said child out for the day I'd tell them to jog on. And saying they won't leave a car seat so they can't take the baby out is extremely cheeky.

You can do us a favour by babysitting and we'll dictate how you spent your time whilst doing so. I don't think so. I'd there's so many reasons for her to not go the beach. There's just as many reasons why she shouldn't be left overnight with someone.


If I were the OP's mum I'd simply say. She comes the beach, as was the plan. Or you find another sitter. Simple.

Did you read the subsequent posts the OP put on this thread? Its nothing to do with her brother not trusting his mum to look after the baby at the beach (or anywhere else) - at all.

FatVonD

I feel quite sorry for the OP's mum, she was probably quite chuffed to be asked to have her granddaughter overnight and now she's been put in a position where she's going to have to upset one or other of her own children.

shop-to-drop

FatVonD wrote: »

I feel quite sorry for the OP's mum, she was probably quite chuffed to be asked to have her granddaughter overnight and now she's been put in a position where she's going to have to upset one or other of her own children.

Really! Why would she be chuffed to be asked?

shegirl

Rev wrote: »

Seriously. If someone asked me to look after their child overnight but didn't trust me to take said child out for the day I'd tell them to jog on. And saying they won't leave a car seat so they can't take the baby out is extremely cheeky.

You can do us a favour by babysitting and we'll dictate how you spent your time whilst doing so. I don't think so. I'd there's so many reasons for her to not go the beach. There's just as many reasons why she shouldn't be left overnight with someone.


If I were the OP's mum I'd simply say. She comes the beach, as was the plan. Or you find another sitter. Simple.

It wasn't the plan!!!!! Everything is expected to change because the op wants to go to the beach