Brother wants us to babysit niece but dictates where we can take her

Rev

shegirl wrote: »

It wasn't the plan!!!!! Everything is expected to change because the op wants to go to the beach

So the OP wants plans to change. The OP's mother was obviously okay with this, hence she asked her other child to drop the baby off earlier so they could all go the beach.


The babies parents then decide the baby can't go the beach. They have asked the OP's mum to baby sit. If she wants to take the child to the beach it shouldn't be an issue. It's not like she's carting her off to the pub to sit in her pram whilst they get drunk.

I used to babysit my cousin daily. From about 12 till 5. From when he was about 8 weeks old. I took him wherever I was going. Had his mother decided he couldn't go on an outing, even if I'd planned it after agreeing to babysit. I'd have told his mother she needed to find someone else to watch him. People seem to be forgetting the OP's mother is doing her son a favour. She's not being paid. He's not her boss and shouldn't be dictating what she can and can't do. Unless he said 'will you babysit. In the house. Without going out at all' and she agree'd. Unless the child is ill there doesn't seem to be a valid reason why she can't have a day trip to the seaside.

wapow

Has the OP even replied yet?
It is now the BH weekend so im guessing they've done something now.


Either way, who made the plans first? The brother or the OP?
Did the OP ring the brother to see if they want to come to the beach or ask about their daughter once they knew the child was at OP's mum for weekend?
If the OP made plans first then mother should be involved for accepting brothers requirements.


Anyway, its BH weekend so I presume its all sorted.

shop-to-drop

I hope OP and her family have a lovely day at the seaside today.:):easter:

POPPYOSCAR

And I hope it is warmer than it is here!

The wind is bitterly cold.

FBaby

It wasn't the plan!!!!! Everything is expected to change because the op wants to go to the beach

I don't know why you keep going on about saying OP changed the plan. All we know is that the grandmother agreed to babysit from 1pm. All they asked if the baby could come a couple of hours sooner, which wouldn't stop them getting on with their plan.

We don't know that grandma said 'ok, we'll babysit and stay home all day to suit you' so that going to the beach is a change of plan. Most likely she said, yes, I will babysit, end of, but it is the brother who kicked in a fuss because he thinks he should be able to control what they do during this time.

Let's hope that all managed to act with some sort of maturity and come up with a compromise because it would be really sad that this instance result in OP not making the effort to come to see her parents as often any longer, and/or grandma being not as flexible with babysitting, and/or brother deciding not to call on his parents so often or at all. It's those kind of circumstances that can start family feud when those who lose out the most are often the children.

balletshoes

Rev wrote: »

So the OP wants plans to change. The OP's mother was obviously okay with this, hence she asked her other child to drop the baby off earlier so they could all go the beach.


The babies parents then decide the baby can't go the beach. They have asked the OP's mum to baby sit. If she wants to take the child to the beach it shouldn't be an issue. It's not like she's carting her off to the pub to sit in her pram whilst they get drunk.

I used to babysit my cousin daily. From about 12 till 5. From when he was about 8 weeks old. I took him wherever I was going. Had his mother decided he couldn't go on an outing, even if I'd planned it after agreeing to babysit. I'd have told his mother she needed to find someone else to watch him. People seem to be forgetting the OP's mother is doing her son a favour. She's not being paid. He's not her boss and shouldn't be dictating what she can and can't do. Unless he said 'will you babysit. In the house. Without going out at all' and she agree'd.
Unless the child is ill there doesn't seem to be a valid reason why she can't have a day trip to the seaside.

Did you read the thread Rev? The OP gave her brother's reason 2 days ago.

balletshoes

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

And I hope it is warmer than it is here!

The wind is bitterly cold.

yes, definitely cooler here today - and we're forecast rain for tomorrow.

spendingmad

Quick update whilst travelling

We (me, DH, dd &ds) are on way to beach.

Mum had words with brother as to what he can expect in future when she offers to babysit. She is equally as upset as me (hence why the title say us/we) as it has meant that today she has had to choose between which grandchildren she can spend time with

We are seeing mum later this pm

It turns out that last Sunday the baby spent from Sunday lunchtime to 5pm Monday at maternal grandmothers so it is not the first time baby has spent night away as previously thought.

Thank you all for your responses - it has been really useful seeing different points of view.

Off to enjoy our day

duchy

It seems this is the first time the parents have left the baby overnight.
The first time for most first time parents is nerve-wracking no matter how much you trust whoever is looking after the baby.

As gig tickets are involved odds are this is a long planned trip-and a bit special as couple time. First time for a night away since baby came along etc. The parents planned on going knowing baby would be safe at granny's. A walk to the park maybe but a safe and secure enviroment so apart from the usual first night irrational worries -nothing to worry about. Then along comes sister who instead of saying "I remember that first overnight-we will made it easy for you" starts demanding they change their plans -change the drop off times and want to drag the baby here there and everywhere. My bet is the OP is or was a single parent who never had that "first night away as a couple" or has simply forgetten what it was like and how special and daunting it was.

I do get the feeling all this is driven by the OP kicking off and trying to get Mum to choose between what brother and what sister wants. I do wonder if the OP is simply a bit jealous that brother lives locally so his child gets granny time every week whereas the OP has chosen to live further away and until this latest grandchild came along her kids were the grandchildren most talked about but this new baby is local and Granny sees this baby more so is always talking about them so good old sibling rivalry has kicked in and this is why the OP is trying to create drama rather than pick another of the four Easter days to go to the beach.

EDIT- I see the OP posted as I did - Seems like she is determined to stir up trouble between Mum and brother - definitely reeks of sibling rivalry . Poor old Granny !

FBaby

Duchy, OP just said that the baby stayed overnight at the other grand parents just the previous weekend, so it's now two weeks in a raw. She also said the gig was only 30 mns away and is not the problem as babysitting in the evening was never the issue, it was what they were doing during the day that was causing contention.

Clearly grandmother is not happy and I don't blame her at all. Glad she feels she can tell her son that she is not just a glorify babysitter but grand parents who are also entitled to enjoy time with their grandchild without being dictated how that should take place.

OP, hope you enjoy your day and the evening with your parents.