Brother wants us to babysit niece but dictates where we can take her

mummyroysof3

You can't please everyone all the time. Sometimes you have to be laid back and accept that and try to compromise.

duchy

Mojisola wrote: »

Which again raises the issue that the baby's parents may have a problem with the OP and her family rather than his mother.

There have been posts on here before where people have said they are happy with someone babysitting for them but not if they take to baby to see another specific person.

I wondered about this............. The OP seems quite a "strong" personality with all this "telling" people to rearrange plans and wanting her own way. ......... She has kind of bulldozed past their wish to be the ones to introduce the child to the beach perhaps they feel she'd also not respect their wishes for what baby eats or does when with Granny too. Some parents are laid back about this kind of stuff others especially first time parents like things done a particular way. It is all about respecting the parents- Their child- their way (and not trying to drag grandparents into the issue too)

POPPYOSCAR

FatVonD wrote: »

The child may not remember any of those things but the parents will remember it for a lifetime.

Very true.

I can remember when I babysat 3 days a week for my SIL as she had to work through necessity not choice.

My nephew took his first steps with me but I never told her as I knew she would be upset.

CH27

fabforty wrote: »

To be honest, that is something that your mum will have to get used to (chosing which grandchildren to spend time with), unless you are all planning to live in the same place. With five children and 11 grandchildren living in various parts of the country, my parents have to do this all the time (many do). The key is for those involved not to overthink it and not to get upset about it. Just wait until Christmas, first birthdays and other big dates kick in, and both sets of grandparents want first dibs or there is some other clash in people's plans [smiling Smilie]. It won't get any easier.


You are having a nice day out with your family, hope you enjoy it. Mum is spending the day with her grandchild and you will all meet up later. Sounds like a good compromise to me.

^^^^ this.

OP your mum now has another grandchild to consider so your children will not have sole call on grannie's time.

FBaby

OP your mum now has another grandchild to consider so your children will not have sole call on grannie's time.

Sole call? She sees the youngest every week, the older ones every 6 weeks, sounds like it's more the other way around.

FatVonD

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Very true.

I can remember when I babysat 3 days a week for my SIL as she had to work through necessity not choice.

My nephew took his first steps with me but I never told her as I knew she would be upset.

I have a friend that used to be a childminder that used to do the same!

CH27

FBaby wrote: »

Sole call? She sees the youngest every week, the older ones every 6 weeks, sounds like it's more the other way around.

OP's children have had sole call on granny until the new baby arrived.
Everyone will have to adjust.

FBaby

CH27 wrote: »

OP's children have had sole call on granny until the new baby arrived.
Everyone will have to adjust.

And you know that because? Anyway, I don't find this argument to be relevant. According to OP, the grand mother wasn't impressed and as a result, will probably be much less flexible in the future so might be back to seeing her older grand children more often anyway.

POPPYOSCAR

FBaby wrote: »

And you know that because? Anyway, I don't find this argument to be relevant. According to OP, the grand mother wasn't impressed and as a result, will probably be much less flexible in the future so might be back to seeing her older grand children more often anyway.

I think it is relevant.

I have had it said to me about one of my grandchildren "but he was here first!"

Sibling rivalry can be a funny thing!

I know we can only go on what the OP says but we have no idea how the mother really feels, after all she did end up staying at home.

FatVonD

We also have no idea how she feels about the daughter who has caused a rumpus and then decided that visiting the beach was more important than spending the day with her mum as per the original plan!