Is there any way to motivate the missus to lose weight? Running out of ideas...

Gra76

Tink2 wrote: »

I think I would punch my OH if he told me to lose weight

Except I haven't told her to lose weight. What is it with people who can't be bothered to read! She's asking for help with losing weight, I give her suggestions, she ignores anything I suggest. I was asking for further suggestions from people here.

Honestly...If I have to say it once more... :rotfl:

supersaver2

I understand where you are coming from OP and as soon as I read your opening thread I thought 'he's going to be torn apart!'

I have similar conversations with my wife, except she is the other end of the scale and very slim. She is a naturally slim person and doesn't have a big appetite but recently she's lost more weight and hasn't been eating well. I genuinely feel worried about her health and the fact she is tired quite a lot. I've spoken to her about it a few times and explained my concerns and I know she's discussed it with her Doctor. Being concerned about your partners health is admirable and I think you do sound supportive.

The phrase being cruel to be kind could apply here, needing to lose 6 stone isn't insignificant. Maybe a chat with her Doctor may help, she could possibly have an underlaying medical condition.

thorsoak

Gra76 wrote: »

Except I haven't told her to lose weight. What is it with people who can't be bothered to read! She's asking for help with losing weight, I give her suggestions, she ignores anything I suggest. I was asking for further suggestions from people here.

Honestly...If I have to say it once more... :rotfl:

"Is there any way to motivate the missus to lose weight? Running out of ideas..."

Maybe it's the way you phrased your thread.....and, btw, it is rather derogatory to refer to "the missus"

And this is your first post :-

My wife needs to lose a good 5-6 stone in weight. She knows it and has been saying she's going to do it since the beginning of last year.

Problem is that she's still saying she's going to do 16 months later but if anything she's put weight on.

After multiple false starts with Weight Watchers and Slimming World she decided that she didn't like them for some reason, so she decided to buy fitness DVD's and do some exercise at home on her days off. She bought 3 of them at the beginning of the year. So far only one has been removed from its packaging and it was on for a matter of minutes before she turned it off saying she couldn't do it. If I've suggested opening the others and trying them or selling them to someone who actually intends to use them she's mumbled something about her doing them sometime so she doesn't want to get rid of them.

I've tried the calorie counting thing with her (it's worked well for me as I lost 3 stone and am now down to my goal weight but I know it's not for everyone) but she can't keep track of it and refuses to write things down. She says it's too complicated to remember what she's eaten during the day. I keep a running total in my head and find it very easy but she says she can't do that.

Last night I decided to see if a shock to the system might work so I asked her to go and try on her swimming cossy seeing as we're going on holiday in two months time. She could barely squeeze into it. I asked her to go and stand infront of a mirror and see what she was going to look like in two months time on the beach if she didn't start to do something about it. That seemed to have the desired effect for about 30 mins as she said she was motivated again. Then I found her snacking on biscuits in the kitchen. Apparantly she was stressed out so she was comfort eating. She said she wanted a takeaway. I told her I didn't want one so she sulked for the rest of the night and I later found her snacking on chocolate in our bedroom.

Am I right in thinking I shouldn't be pushing it any more? It seems the more I mention it the less she wants to do it. I know she can do it if she really wants to as she managed to lose 50+ lbs for our wedding (nearly 11 years ago) but has slowly been piling it back on ever since.

Maybe she just doesn't want to lose the weight?"

Your words. Do they really sound supportive to you?

supersaver2

Mirno wrote: »

I don't have any advice to give unfortunately OP. But I did want to point out this thread:
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4912452

It seems like it's OK for a wife to try to get her husband to lose weight, but not the other way around...

Mirno

Not seen that thread before but reading the first page of replies on that thread and the first page of replies on this thread makes for interesting reading. Men really are given a hard time on this board!

thehappybutterfly

But thats just the difference between men and women. I know we shouldn't label people but we are different - there's no getting away from it!

Women are generally nuturing and caring and we take the responsibility for the health and well being of the family - sometimes at our own expense.

So in the case of weight problems, women see their loved ones gaining weight and want to help them get healthy. Whereas men, well. They're damned if they do and damned if they don't!

Tink2

FBaby wrote: »

What about suggested? Seems a bit one sided that you can tell him he can't have friends that are girls but he can't tell you he thinks you should lose weight.

I didn't tell him he can't have female friends

Tink2

thorsoak wrote: »

Your words. Do they really sound supportive to you?

Not in the slightest, they are disgusting in fact

Gloomendoom

supersaver2 wrote: »

I understand where you are coming from OP and as soon as I read your opening thread I thought 'he's going to be torn apart!'

I was tempted to reach for the popcorn... except Mrs G would not have been happy with my extra calorie consumption.

paulineb_2

Your swimming costume tactic lasted 30 mins before she started eating junk food. Perhaps looking at this as a long term issue, ditching junk food and getting more active as I said earlier might help. Instead of the fitness DVDs, buy herself and yourself a kettlebell and workout together.

She's clearly unhappy. It could be next years holiday before she's fit. But if the junk food isn't around and you work out with her, it's a start.

stardoman

FBaby wrote: »

Why would tout feel mortified? Would you truly preferred that he lied? I really don't understand why people get upset with their partner being honest. On one hand they are expected to be on other they are not. Surely that's what commitment is all about?

I'd prefer that he didn't say anything at all. I know what I look like, I don't need anyone to make me look at myself. Its very confrontational.

My husband makes me feel attractive, but if he did something like that I would feel like rubbish.