Is there any way to motivate the missus to lose weight? Running out of ideas...

Izadora

Gra76 wrote: »

She said "What do you think?" so I replied with "Well, what do you think? Go have a look".

I'm not sure that really classes as nagging? But hey, I'm a male so I'm probably wrong... :rotfl:

I wouldn't class that as nagging and I can see how it would've been done with the best of intentions but, knowing how sensitive I am about my weight, I can also see how counter-productive it could be. I know that someone pointing out that something's really not a good look (even when I'm fully aware of the fact myself and them sugar-coating it isn't going to be any help either) will have me reaching for the crisps/chocolate/cake faster than anything.

Unfortunately you're in a bit of a no-win situation. There's no way she's not aware of the fact that she needs to lose weight but you pointing it out/agreeing with will only dent her self-esteem even further. As people have already said, all you can do is let her know that you love her no matter what and that you'll support her in any way you can.

stardoman

Gra76 wrote: »

She said "What do you think?" so I replied with "Well, what do you think? Go have a look".

I'm not sure that really classes as nagging? But hey, I'm a male so I'm probably wrong... :rotfl:

I must admit I'd be mortified if my husband did that. I wouldn't class it as nagging, just very, very hurtful. It was bad enough when he said he thought my hips were too big. I was in floods of tears and he was shocked because he was "just being honest".

Prothet_of_Doom

WHY are there biscuits in the house ?

FBaby

stardoman wrote: »

I must admit I'd be mortified if my husband did that. I wouldn't class it as nagging, just very, very hurtful. It was bad enough when he said he thought my hips were too big. I was in floods of tears and he was shocked because he was "just being honest".

Why would tout feel mortified? Would you truly preferred that he lied? I really don't understand why people get upset with their partner being honest. On one hand they are expected to be on other they are not. Surely that's what commitment is all about?

Gra76

Prothet_of_Doom wrote: »

WHY are there biscuits in the house ?

She buys them on the way home from work. I certainly don't buy them!

Tink2

Gra76 wrote: »

if she really wants to

Those being the key words, SHE has to want to, you can't motivate someone who doesn't want to be

She's not ready but she will be when SHE wants to be

I've tried and failed many times to lost weight but on 6th jan this year I said enough is enough and I started calorie counting and eating healthier, I've lost 15.8lbs so far

Prothet_of_Doom

Prothet_of_Doom wrote: »

WHY are there biscuits in the house ?

What I mean is provide practical help. Get rid of all the crap and replace it with celery.

My wife constantly nags me to loose weight, and I'll admit that I am naturally greedy, and lazy, but over the last year I have measured myself 7 days a week and plotted it on a graph.

Typically I loose 1Kg in the 4 nights I am away from home, and gain 1.1 Kg at the weekend, when my wife's hobby, of cooking or eating out is entertained. In the 2 weeks I had off at christmas I gained 4 kg.

She bought me a number of chocolate related items for my birthday, and even before I'd opened the box to start consuming them, (about 3 days after my birthday) she starts nagging me to loose weight.

So knowing that I want to loose weight, knowing that my wife wants me to loose weight, but knowing that she will scupper my plans given half the chance, means I have to be forceful enough for 2 people. I have to say "no" which goes against my upbringing (eat what is offered).

By the motivation definately can not come from another person. :T

newcook

Sorry, but I am on OP’s side – it seems as if he’s damned if he does and damned if he doesn’t!!

His wife has said that she wants to lose weight – OP hasn’t demanded she goes on a diet, this is her choice to lose weight but she lacks motivation!

OP, Im similar to your wife – I would love to shed a couple of stone but the truth is I love my food! I am slowly adjusting to cooking more healthier meals (and for me, summer is easier to do this as I’ll have salad instead of chips!). perhaps you could both cook leaner dinners together? This doesn’t mean you have to miss out on favourites, just swap for a ‘lighter version’ such as lean mince for spag bols etc.

Also, get out and have a romantic walk together every weekend (or evening), buy a wii console and play the games together (the dance ones are fun!) or suggest extra sessions in the bedroom (best/fun work out!!)

Also remove the biscuits – if they aren’t there they cant be snacked on! I cant trust myself to have crisps in the house as I will have 3 bags at a time!

stir_crazy

Sorry about this situation OP, but unfortunately, as has been said before, unless she's in the mindset to do it, she's not going to lose weight. I've talked about losing weight since my honeymoon in 2012 and it wasn't until 3 weeks ago I actually got to the point where I felt I could actually do it.

Perhaps suggest activities that you can do together, like walks in the evenings since the weather is getting better, swimming together, (and as someone else said, sexercise ). Being active might give her the boost she needs - I find it helps me stop my comfort eating - and you get to spend quality time together.

Melonade

FBaby wrote: »

Why would tout feel mortified? Would you truly preferred that he lied? I really don't understand why people get upset with their partner being honest. On one hand they are expected to be on other they are not. Surely that's what commitment is all about?

I agree that I'd rather my OH tell me the truth than lie to me to make me feel happy.

He usually tells me I look fine even though I'm unhappy with my weight and until last night that was fine... until a one word answer has really given me a good firm kick up the backside!!

We were watching secret eaters and the mum lost a stone in 5 weeks. I asked "do you think I could lose a stone in 5 weeks"? His reply was "yes"

That's the closest he's ever come to saying you've put weight on without actually saying it. In the past when I have lost it he has told me I look slimmer and that's nice and encouraging, but honestly is nice too and I'd be happier if he told me outright (as long as it's not in a nasty way)

Actually a couple of years ago I told my OH he was putting on weight, he was eating too much junk etc. he didn't take it badly, he just stopped eating so much cr*p and lost the weight.

BUT, if your wife isn't ready to commit to losing weight I don't suppose it will matter how you approach it. All you can do is be there for her when she is ready