Is there any way to motivate the missus to lose weight? Running out of ideas...

tyllwyd

It's trashy obviously, but I've actually found the Secret Eaters programme that's on tv at the moment is quite interesting. I know from years of on-off dieting that snacking is my downfall, and I have a pretty good understanding of the calories in different foods. But in Secret Eaters the difference between what the people think they are eating and what they are actually eating is amazing - easily 1000-2000 calories a day more.

For me, what works best is a food diary (if I can get the motivation) - there are some pretty good apps on smartphones now, I wonder if she might be able to find one she likes? Also, I've got an android app called 'Monitor your weight' which I like because it doesn't fuss about diets or calories, you can just add your weight whenever and it draws a graph so you can see what direction your weight is headed (and has a passcode so nosey children/husbands can't look!)


https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=monitoryourweight.bustan.net

But in the end, if your wife is moaning about her weight but not following any of your suggestions, she's not being fair to you. If it was me, I'd just start cutting her off when she talks about it, and tell her straight that you are not listening to her moaning because you don't believe she is going to do anything about it. That's what I do with my kids - I can't stand people asking for help then shooting any suggestions down in flames, it's just attention seeking in my book.

Gra76

I can't do much about the biscuits/chocolate that my wife buys on the way back from work. She rarely buys any in the weekly shopping. She's got a habit of stopping off at the shops on the way home and getting whatever she wants.

I don't usually find out till the empty wrappers turn up or I wonder into a room and catch her red-handed scoffing them. I usually just joke with her that she hasn't saved any for me!

Reminds me a lot of my mother who was an alcoholic and spent a lot of time hiding the bottles of vodka from the rest of the family.

I've text her today suggesting we go out for a walk at the weekend but she's already made excuses for not doing it. She said maybe another weekend because she might want to go and visit a friend. Also, one of the kids has a birthday party to go to on Sunday so apparantly that's the whole of Sunday taken up too...

Gloomendoom

Prothet_of_Doom wrote: »

What I mean is provide practical help. Get rid of all the crap and replace it with celery.

My wife constantly nags me to loose weight, and I'll admit that I am naturally greedy, and lazy, but over the last year I have measured myself 7 days a week and plotted it on a graph.

Typically I loose 1Kg in the 4 nights I am away from home, and gain 1.1 Kg at the weekend, when my wife's hobby, of cooking or eating out is entertained. In the 2 weeks I had off at christmas I gained 4 kg.

She bought me a number of chocolate related items for my birthday, and even before I'd opened the box to start consuming them, (about 3 days after my birthday) she starts nagging me to loose weight.

So knowing that I want to loose weight, knowing that my wife wants me to loose weight, but knowing that she will scupper my plans given half the chance, means I have to be forceful enough for 2 people. I have to say "no" which goes against my upbringing (eat what is offered).

By the motivation definately can not come from another person. :T

I'd nag you to lose an 'O' too.

Mirno

I don't have any advice to give unfortunately OP. But I did want to point out this thread:
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4912452

It seems like it's OK for a wife to try to get her husband to lose weight, but not the other way around...

Mirno

egoode

Gra76 wrote: »

Oh she'd definately tell me where to go if I was nagging at her, she doesn't have any issues with speaking her mind if she takes issue with me over anything! :cool:

What are these 'tactics' people keep saying I'm up to? She asks for help, I offer her suggestions. Inbetween her asking for help I don't mention it at all. People are making out that I go on and on and on at her about it when actually the only time I ever suggest things is when she asks me to, which it has to be said isn't that often, every couple of months maybe.

Maybe rather than offering suggestions when she talks about it just start asking her on a regular basis to go for walks with you. Start cooking meals for you both that are healthy. When she was doing WW and Slimming world were you both eating the same meals or was she making a different 'healthy' meal for herself? There's nothing worse then watching someone else eat the burger you want to have while you are eating a salad. I'd also suggest trying online shopping I find I'm much less likely to order crisps, biscuits etc when I order online then when I go to the store and it's best not to have them in the house if you can't stop yourself at just one.

Also talk to her and find out what's happening in her life. If she's comfort eating it's probably little to do with her weight itself that's just a symptom. She may be feeling overwhelmed with work, family/friend issues, etc.

FBaby

Have your asked her if her weight makes her unhappy? She might like to lose weight in an ideal world but not be that bothered. Many people talk a lot about what they'd like to do bur are not bothered that ultimately they don't. It is a problem if it makes them feel a failure.

Tink2

I think I would punch my OH if he told me to lose weight

thehappybutterfly

Gloomendoom wrote: »

I'd nag you to lose an 'O' too.

Poor Prothet!

Prothet - have a look at my sig! It'll help.

PS. All meant in fun x

Gra76

Mirno wrote: »

I don't have any advice to give unfortunately OP. But I did want to point out this thread:
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4912452

It seems like it's OK for a wife to try to get her husband to lose weight, but not the other way around...

Mirno

Maybe next time I'll pose as a female so I can get some advice rather than being slated and accused of being the worst person to walk the earth...

FBaby

Tink2 wrote: »

I think I would punch my OH if he told me to lose weight

What about suggested? Seems a bit one sided that you can tell him he can't have friends that are girls but he can't tell you he thinks you should lose weight.