Is there any way to motivate the missus to lose weight? Running out of ideas...

FBaby

The it sounds like your can continue with the suggestions but don't have any expectations attached to them. Does she have difficulties with motivation and sticking to things or is it just diets?

stardoman

I wonder if a better tactic would be to suggest doing things but without the "lose weight" tag. So its a nice day and you say you fancy going out somewhere for a walk. Or offer to make tea and make sure its something filling.

Just take the pressure off losing weight and concentrate on having fun.

aileth

Me thinks she's not too bothered about how she looks in the swimming costume, but you're actually more bothered about how she looks. Do you feel ashamed around her or something?

The scales for obese/morbidly obese are really daft to be honest. I'm only five foot and the slightest alteration in weight can put me over into absolutely silly categories, I used to be classed as almost morbidly obese at about 12.5 stone, and I'd think bloody hell what the heck are all these hambeasts on the Jeremy Kyle show them? Morbidly morbidly morbidly obese?

My dad was also considered obese when he last went to the Doctor and he is slim and wears size mediums...

Gra76

Person_one wrote: »

Telling her to go and look at herself in her swimming costume is a really good example of nagging her about her weight. That's where people are getting the impression from.

If she didn't feel judged/nagged she wouldn't be trying to hide her eating from you and stashing things away.

She said "What do you think?" so I replied with "Well, what do you think? Go have a look".

I'm not sure that really classes as nagging? But hey, I'm a male so I'm probably wrong... :rotfl:

FBaby

Person_one wrote: »

Telling her to go and look at herself in her swimming costume is a really good example of nagging her about her weight. That's where people are getting the impression from.

If she didn't feel judged/nagged she wouldn't be trying to hide her eating from you and stashing things away.

If she felt judged and nagged she would tell OP to take a hike rather than going along with his suggestions. The problem is not there but an issue with determination and will power.

DKLS

How about paying for one of the Bupa Health MOTs for your wife, if a clinician advises that her lifestyle isn't good for her that may prompt a change.

I don't think your current tactics will help much.

FBaby

Gra76 wrote: »

She said "What do you think?" so I replied with "Well, what do you think? Go have a look".

I'm not sure that really classes as nagging? But hey, I'm a male so I'm probably wrong... :rotfl:

No you're not but many people are very sensitive about weight issues and assume everyone else is.

Gra76

Oh she'd definately tell me where to go if I was nagging at her, she doesn't have any issues with speaking her mind if she takes issue with me over anything! :cool:

What are these 'tactics' people keep saying I'm up to? She asks for help, I offer her suggestions. Inbetween her asking for help I don't mention it at all. People are making out that I go on and on and on at her about it when actually the only time I ever suggest things is when she asks me to, which it has to be said isn't that often, every couple of months maybe.

Gra76

aileth wrote: »

Me thinks she's not too bothered about how she looks in the swimming costume, but you're actually more bothered about how she looks. Do you feel ashamed around her or something

Not at all, I'd never be 'ashamed' around her. She knows I love her, she knows I find her attractive regardless. Your assumption couldn't be wider of the mark if it tried.

Mojisola

Gra76 wrote: »

She asks for help, I offer her suggestions.

It sounds like a Mars/Venus clash.

She's asking for "help" when she means she wants reassurance and a hug.

You're offering her practical solutions.