Is there any way to motivate the missus to lose weight? Running out of ideas...

pollypenny

Kayalana99 wrote: »

I just read the last post as 'his missus' on the main forum and thought she had made a side account to have her say. :rotfl:




I'd find that quite controlling really. I do find it SO strange that people go behind their other halves back like this....sorry I don't want to be nasty but I'd never not buy my OH crisps because he needed to lose weight..surely he should get a say in whether or not he needs to lose it.. :S

Do you at least replace it with something or is he just meant to go hungry? :S

Some need to be helped to have more control themselves.

I'm sure his missus wants her husband to live a long and healthy life, feeling good about himself.

My OH is overweight, spent years calling himself 'cuddly' , and made excuses. However, he lost lots of weight, including the gut, last year and I saw his confidence grow.

It's important to keep to treats ad just that, something you have on occasions, not once a week or daily.

paddyrg

I'm afraid I've fast-forwarded somewhat through 19 pages of responses so apologise if I duplicate someone else's post...

Turn it around, make her feel sexy, pay her a lot of attention and make her feel better about herself - she will start to pay more attention to herself again, it gives her a reason to want to feel more attractive again, it won't happen the other way round.

gt568

paddyrg wrote: »

Turn it around, make her feel sexy, pay her a lot of attention and make her feel better about herself - she will start to pay more attention to herself again, it gives her a reason to want to feel more attractive again, it won't happen the other way round.

Difficult if you don't find a fat woman attractive though.

Pyxis

Well, even Quasimodo was loved by Esmerelda for his INNER SELF.

FBaby

Pyxis wrote: »

Well, even Quasimodo was loved by Esmerelda for his INNER SELF.

But it might not have done it for Cinderella!

gt568

Pyxis wrote: »

Well, even Quasimodo was loved by Esmerelda for his INNER SELF.

World of difference between love, and physical attraction/fancying someone.

anotheruser

paddyrg wrote: »

Turn it around, make her feel sexy, pay her a lot of attention and make her feel better about herself - she will start to pay more attention to herself again, it gives her a reason to want to feel more attractive again, it won't happen the other way round.

Or maybe she will think "he likes me like this, I'll try to stay fat".


It's a tough one, and I too have skipped all the pages apart from the first.

The first post didn't exactly come over too well, but as MSE Users do, they got their pitch-forks in and looked at the post, not the surrounding issue.

I guess it has been answered but my first thought was "does the wife WANT to lose weight or is it the husband that wants her to lose it?" - it appears the first number of replies didn't think to question this, although like I say the OP was worded poorly.

My partner and I are looking to lose weight but find it hard. We've cut down on snacking and I don't have crisps at all any more. We have at least one type of veg with 5/7 evening meals and plan to cut out chocolate all together, although I would encourage a weekly dose of some, as a little is healthy.

But this won't be enough.
Have you tried going out for a run together? She may not like it at the start but it's somewhere.
Try getting into controlled eating using a mail order slimming diet? Expensive perhaps but might be a good start too.

I wonder if Eric loved Ariel when she turned back into a fish?

FinanciallyUnsavvy

anotheruser wrote: »

Or maybe she will think "he likes me like this, I'll try to stay fat".

No, no and no.

OP obviously cares a lot about his wife and wants her to be happy and healthy. The best he can do for her is HELP her get there. Not lecture, or belittle (though I don't necessarily think what he did was belittling and/or humiliating as it was suggested in some earlier posts).

Yes, making her feel good in her own skin and happier is the best thing he can do. IF she is 100% happy with herself the way she is, overweight or not, then I don't see why anyone needs a force a diet/exercise down her neck (providing she's not morbidly obese ofc - but I'm guessing she isn't at all). Though since she's stated herslf that she wants to lose weight, she's clearly unhappy. The fact that she's comfort eating in secret proves this. I do this too sometimes. I know how it is.

It is very hard to find the motivation to lose weight. It takes a lot of support, and it's MUCH easier if you have someone to do every step with you. Prepare healthy meals together and don't make it seem like a "chore". Don't deprive yourself either. Treat yourself to the odd takeaway every few weeks for being good. Enjoy a bar of chocolate together on a Saturday night. Spend more time together doing fun things - more time you're enjoying yourself, the less time there is to eat. Simple!