Is there any way to motivate the missus to lose weight? Running out of ideas...

savingmummy

Until she wants too change she wont.
I have to say I know how frustrating it can be to try and help and not get anywhere, BUT no matter how you try she needs to be the one to decide `I`m ready to lose weight!`.

My brother was 24 stone and only 5ft 5.
His secret eater and would hide food packets everywhere, we even found frozen pizza boxes once - but of course that wasn`t him it was the `ghost` He would never admit it!!
He is addicted to food, can not stop himself and has no feeling of being full.

When I had my son he asked to be godfather and I said to him `what if your not here to see him through his adulthood?` `what if he wants you to play football at the park?`
In 18months he lost 14stone. He joined a gym where he went daily and went on a calorie controlled diet alone no help from anyone but himself!! He totally transformed himself and was happy.

Sadly 5yrs later we are in the same place, BUT his now 28stone (27yrs old) and isn`t wanting to lose weight at all.
His still hiding food packets, drinking fizzy by the 2L bottles and has no desire to change right now.
Nothing we say will stop him in his tracks, the more we nag the more he eats, his refusing help!
So now we have to let him take on the consequences.

dktreesea

I've tried various weight loss regimes over the years. The only one I remember is Overeaters Anonymous. I only went once, but a lot of what people said in that meeting stuck in my mind. It gave me some insight into the emotional issues that led to my being overweight at the time.

For exercise, I like zumba, to waka waka, sitting in a chair. Surprisingly this works, and it's fun.

This is my favourite video of chair zumba:
Zumba Gold Chair Waka Waka.MOV
On youtube, the link is:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVgW6CCb3Wk

It can even be done at a computer :-)

It never fails to amaze me how people who put weight on at the rate of 100gms a week, if that, expect to take it off at the rate of 500gms, or even a kilo a week. Losing weight is a bit like saving pennies. They soon add up to pounds.

FatVonD

Gloomendoom wrote: »

I agree, there are people with slower metabolisms than others. They tend to feel the cold. Unfortunately, if they want to maintain a steady weight, they need to eat less than the average person... or do more.

I didn't know that was down to metabolism, I have a fast metabolism and am always hot so that makes sense.

Despite my fast metabolism I am still overweight but I'm aware that, given the amount I eat, I should be way fatter than I am!

seven-day-weekend

[QUOTE=lostinrates;65249005]Seven, can I ask why you eat in secret? Is your husband judgemental. Or is that you fear people will be? I think that you always sound so lovely and kind and yet to the point. . It makes me very sad to think of you sad over this.

I am 'lucky' I genuinely do crave broccoli, not quite with the verve for it DH does he its it raw like a lollipop everyday, but I do love broccoli, where as I only really fancy chocolate hormonally, though I like it its just another food I like to me.

My sweet food of choice would be stuffed prune d'Agen, I love those. Sadly they make me very unwell indeed now. [/QUOTE]

I eat chocolate in secret because I know I shouldn't be doing it. Don't we all try to hide the bad things we do? I don't do it all that often now. My husband is not judgmental, he is very supportive.

But thank you for your sympathy, how kind xx.

FBaby

Mojisola wrote: »

Telling these people that they just need a bit of will-power is pointless and insulting. If it was that easy, they wouldn't be overweight in the first place.

I agree totally with the first part of your post, but not that bit. No one says that all is required is a bit of will power. As a matter of fact, it's a LOT of willpower that is required. But does the fact that it isn't easy mean that all excuses should be used instead?

I have found that those with the strongest personality are not always those who show the best willpower. I have seen a couple of friends who seemed the least likely to make a change in their lives suddenly turning everything around with complete dedication.

Losing weight without willpower is almost impossible, but building one's willpower isn't. It's hard and demanding, but it can be done with patience and commitment.

onlyroz

paulineb wrote: »

Im sure there are people who are overweight and are lazy and greedy, but for people to dismiss the majority of overweight people as being so is very short sighted in my opinion.

The fact is that there are many more obese people than there were 30-40 years ago. This cannot just be down to "slow metabolisms" or genuine health conditions that I am sure do affect some people.

I know of quite a few former obese people who swore blind that they were "big boned" or had a slow metabolism or had X, Y and Z which prevented them from losing weight. But lo-and-behold after a year or so on a sensible dietary regime (not a faddy "diet") they were able to lose weight after all.

It most certainly is not easy to lose weight but for the vast majority of people it is possible, by making some fairly simple lifestyle changes. But it does require the ability to stick at things which is a skill that needs to be learned.

Mojisola

FBaby wrote: »

No one says that all is required is a bit of will power.

I've heard it said quite a few times and seen it written in the comments after articles on overweight people.

paulineb_2

What if illness or injury gets in the way? It's not just about willpower and being able to stick at something, it's about your own life circumstances whatever they are. And the girl above who spoke about her brother losing 14 stones and gaining it back, it's very obvious that some people need professional support to help them not slip back into old patterns of eating, they struggle to do it themselves.

paulineb_2

Mojisola wrote: »

I've heard it said quite a few times and seen it written in the comments after articles on overweight people.

I think some people's assumptions that overweight people are just lazy or greedy says it all. If people looked at me and didn't know thàt I've spent the last year losing weight they might look at me and go, look at her, she could do with losing a stone or more. Which is true.

But I'm extremely active and my diet is healthy, but it's probably going to take another 6 months to get the rest of the weight off.

We can't tell just by looking at someone how active they are.

Georgiegirl256

paulineb wrote: »

I think some people's assumptions that overweight people are just lazy or greedy says it all.

Barring any illness, conditions, physcological issues, which of course obviously do exist for some overweight people, I do think the majority of people do need a good dose of Will power and to stop making excuses.

I don't know if I would class people as lazy or greedy, that's quite harsh, and I know it isn't easy, but I would say that the majority don't really do anything to help themselves. Now that might sound harsh, but IMO it's truthful. How many overweight people can truthfully say that when they decided to try and lose weight that they gave it their all? They try for a few days, a week or two maybe, and then gradually the 'bad foods' creep back in, and then the excuses come, I know, because I've been there myself, albeit with a different addiction. Yes, there have been plenty of success stories, but that is through a lot of hard work, a lifestyle change, and a determination to want to do something about their weight and health.

I've seen it time and time again, my husband being a prime example. I've lost count of the amount of 'diets' he has been on....to watch someone slowly getting bigger and bigger, and potentionally killing themselves with food is heartbreaking. I've heard every excuse in the book, "after Easter" is the latest one....