Is there any way to motivate the missus to lose weight? Running out of ideas...

Cloudydaze

quidsy wrote: »

I facepalm the "well I did it so everyone should be able to" posts. What arrogance. Fyi, not everyone is the same, not everyone has the same coping mechanisms, not everyone has the same metabolism, not everyone has thegsame level of self control.

You holier than thou people should open your minds and acknowledge these basic facts.

I think most people on here who are happy with their weight now (me included) have admitted its not easy, it can be a struggle and it's an ongoing work-in-progress. The purpose of sharing on here is saying I'm not special. It's not down to luck, you have to work at it. There's certainly no intentional arrogance from me.

Would it be better to keep quiet or just offer empty platitudes...

"Oh hugs, you poor thing, that must be so tough for you. Yes, I'm lucky I've found what works for me but Im not sharing my secret. You just carry on doing what you're doing. Life is unfair and you can't change your lot in life"

FBaby

Person_one wrote: »

Some people have fast metabolisms, this is undeniable.

So you adjust your food intake proportionally. It's not about what the neighbour can eat and get away with, it's about what individual can eat and keep a healthy weight.

lostinrates

Person_one wrote: »

Some people have fast metabolisms, this is undeniable. A good friend of mine eats lie a horse but stays tiny and wishes she could put enough weight on to have a bit of cleavage in a low cut dress.

If a faster metabolism than average is possible, why not a slower than average?

I also think, contrary to the idea its unhelpful to 'blame' it , it is useful to know how ones own body works.

I have a 'slow metabolism'. I always thought I was just what horse people call a good doer ( we recognise slow metabolisms or 'good doers' in dogs and horses and feed accordingly if we are sensible) but when I was diagnosed with a very, very rare health condition almost eleven years ago now it became clear I was more than a good doer.

If I were to eat nothing all day to make up for a three course meal like f baby's friend I would still gain weight significantly. I eat far less than that and have gained weight over the years, Its been important to be to still try and calorie hoard to maintain some semblance of social eating. ' Breaking bread ' with my friends and eating with my husband ( even if not to the same degree, are important aspects of life to me.

I am today doing an at home test for a nother diagnosis of a just 'rare' condition which also has metabolic impact.


Neither of these conditions are ones any one wants to have simply in order to blame weight gain for btw. They have horrid impacts and the weight gain is rather the least of medical concerns, even if it ranks highly for me.

Gloomendoom

Person_one wrote: »

That's because you're short.

Unless you've got osteoporosis or some other condition your bones will probably be the same size and weight as anybody else's who is your height.

That isn't strictly true. Frame sizes vary. Whether you are a small, medium or large frame for a given height can be determined by the circumference of your wrist.

Calculating body frame size

Georgiegirl256

Person_one wrote: »

Shall I take this to mean that you think a size 14 is 'that little bit overweight'? Why am I not surprised! :rotfl:

[COLOR="rgb(139, 0, 0)"]Well[/COLOR] yes, it can be, it's all dependant on the individuals height. I'm currently a size 12. If I went up to a size 14 I'd start to do something about it. Not saying it's big for everyone, but it would be for me. If I carry on eating as I have been lately, my weight would easily go up I'm sure, but I know when to reign it in.

Yet I never see any moralising or name calling threads started on here about underweight people...

It happens believe me, and it's just as bad as someone telling you you are fat..

I still think a lot of people make a lot of excuses.

Gloomendoom

Person_one wrote: »

Some people have fast metabolisms, this is undeniable. A good friend of mine eats lie a horse but stays tiny and wishes she could put enough weight on to have a bit of cleavage in a low cut dress.

If a faster metabolism than average is possible, why not a slower than average?

I agree, there are people with slower metabolisms than others. They tend to feel the cold. Unfortunately, if they want to maintain a steady weight, they need to eat less than the average person... or do more.

FBaby

Calculating body frame size

Interesting, thanks for sharing that link. My height is just over 5'2'' and wrist dimensions is 5'4'', so certainly small body framed according to that chart.

Person_one

FBaby wrote: »

Of course not everyone has the same bone density/size for the same height. Some are long legged some short, some have thick wrists, others are tiny.

More or less, not enough to make a difference of several stones in weight!

FBaby

Person_one wrote: »

More or less, not enough to make a difference of several stones in weight!

I would expect at least a stone between very small and large frame.

lostinrates

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Whereas I can empathise with the OP's wife. I have struggled with my weight since my forties, I'm now 64 and still struggling, although losing it VERY slowly. I've lost the weight twice and put it back on again.

I too have eaten chocolate in secret (still do sometimes). I too eat when I am not hungry because I want the taste (and it's always fats or sugar, no-one ever fancied a floret of broccolli), I too am always thinking about food and plan days around mealtimes. I can diet when I'm feeling OK, but when I'm not I don't want to be thinking about food all the time and what I should be eating, I just want to eat something nice and tasty.

The swimsuit thing was awful and it would make me want to stuff my face with the biggest chocolate bar I could find, but I do think the OP genuinely thought he was helping. He won't make that mistake again.

My opinion is, she won't be able lose weight until her head is in the right place and I think all the OP can do is wait until she is in that place and then he can encourage her. Until then, just love her and find her tasty low-calorie treats.

Seven, can I ask why you eat in secret? Is your husband judgemental. Or is that you fear people will be? I think that you always sound so lovely and kind and yet to the point. . It makes me very sad to think of you sad over this.

I am 'lucky' I genuinely do crave broccoli, not quite with the verve for it DH does he its it raw like a lollipop everyday, but I do love broccoli, where as I only really fancy chocolate hormonally, though I like it its just another food I like to me.

My sweet food of choice would be stuffed prune d'Agen, I love those. Sadly they make me very unwell indeed now.