Is there any way to motivate the missus to lose weight? Running out of ideas...

lostinrates

FatVonD wrote: »

Not offering medical advice but... I have believed for 3 or 4 years that I had IBS and have just found out that I *probably* have Coeliac Disease, a diet of just bread would have done that to me too.

I am still awaiting the results of the biopsies but having read a list of the symptoms and knowing that's what they suspect and were testing for as soon as the biopsies were taken I cut out gluten (about a month ago) and every single symptom has disappeared.

Hope you get a clear picture of how to eat for you.

dktreesea

There's no getting away from it. People become overweight because they take in more calories than their body can use. And food can be consumed a lot faster than it can be burnt off, so in times of plenty, like nowadays, is it so surprising that the world is becoming an ever fatter place?

givememoney

I haven't read all of this, I take it you are trying to help her so good for you.


One thing you could do is go for a walk everyday with her. This might motivate her and would do her good and yourself at any rate.


I think portion size is a big stumbling block for anyone (including myself) to change. Does she cook and dish up food? Encourage her to cook less (save money and time) and serve up smaller portion.


We can exist on far less food than we think we can and she would be the same.


Eat s l o w l y chewing every mouthful. Put less in at a time.


If she has a sandwich, cut down to one slice, if she wants a biscuit break it in half.


Drink plenty of water

BigAunty

Gra76 wrote: »

What are these 'tactics' people keep saying I'm up to? She asks for help, I offer her suggestions. ...

Heh, heh, heh - your dynamic as a couple and the angry responses to your suggestions on this forum reminds me of the scene in W1A where the boss shouts at the PR woman steamrolling him with an idea that he hates.

Him: "You are not listening to me!"
Her: "I am but you are saying the wrong things."

Seems she wants to lose weight but isn't confident or motivated enough to make any changes. Lots of people prefer the familiarity of their existing misery rather than launch into a change that they fear will fail so she's just sabotaging everything. Even if she is seeking your advice, deep down, she has no plans to accept or act on it.

How about softer things to ease her into weight loss that focus on the emotional side of things to address her lack of confidence and tackling the habitual patterns of thought that lead to inactivity and overeating - hypnotherapy,accupuncture, counselling, mindfulness, meditation, that kind of thing? Once her head is straight and she has been inspired and invigorated, she will then find it easier to change her eating habits and lack of exercise.

Even if the idea that activities like hypnotherapy and accupuncture are hogwash, there would at least be the potential for a kind of placebo effect?

When I saw a documentary about a hospital department that treated mentally ill people that had been sectioned, there was a lady who was very distracted and distressed for a long period who did not respond to help, would just lie there and mutter to herself. The doctor taking her to an ECT therapy said something to the effect that the treatment would allow her to give herself permission to start recovering, almost like she was stuck and would be jump started. I wish I could remember the actual dialogue better and hope I haven't paraphrased it too badly.

I'm sure there must be some physiological changes from electric shock therapy but the psychologist seemed to pitch the treatment as an event where the patient would make a decision to change. Sure enough, she had a dramatic quick recovery.

Sorry to go off topic a bit, just that I am suggesting a 'healing' and 'therapeutic' type approach rather than the standard lifestyle 'stop eating biscuits/start cycling' approach to dieting.

paulineb_2

givememoney wrote: »

I haven't read all of this, I take it you are trying to help her so good for you.


One thing you could do is go for a walk everyday with her. This might motivate her and would do her good and yourself at any rate.


I think portion size is a big stumbling block for anyone (including myself) to change. Does she cook and dish up food? Encourage her to cook less (save money and time) and serve up smaller portion.


We can exist on far less food than we think we can and she would be the same.


Eat s l o w l y chewing every mouthful. Put less in at a time.


If she has a sandwich, cut down to one slice, if she wants a biscuit break it in half.


Drink plenty of water

And her secret eating stash of food? Half a biscuit wont help matters much unless she stops eating junk in secret.

seven-day-weekend

Tink2 wrote: »

No........

You might not try to hide the bad things you do, but I and many others do. Hence the secret chocolate eating.

lostinrates

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

You might not try to hide the bad things you do, but I and many others do. Hence the secret chocolate eating.

I think the thing is eating chocolate isn't like kicking dogs or stealing. I think the very idea that you see eating chocolate as ' bad' makes it more understandable to me in a really simple way ( thank you) how too strict a regime is bound to make people feel deprived and have connotations of value as a person.

Its possible for many to incorporate chocolate into a weight loss diet if its a key treat for them.

cazziebo

I'm still shocked at this thread...

The OP comes on to say his wife has asked him to support her in losing weight. 5 stones - not inconsiderable. No mention of underlying conditions.

The first lot of responses flame the OP for even getting involved - despite being asked. The second lot come on with a whole heap of excuses of why obesity is inevitable, unavoidable, down to "issues". Very few people seem to accept any responsibility for their own health and welfare.

In the rarest of cases, there are medical reasons behind weight gain. In almost every other, a person's weight is within their own control. FBaby hit the nail on the head - we don't say no often enough.

OP , what about taking up walking, a weekly game of badminton, a weekly swim, - anything active you could do together? Or try a mindfulness class - an amazingly simple way to understand your own power and self.

lostinrates

cazziebo wrote: »

OP , what about taking up walking, a weekly game of badminton, a weekly swim, - anything active you could do together? Or try a mindfulness class - an amazingly simple way to understand your own power and self.

These are all good ideas, as are the ones like incorporating walking into the daily regime, which is also good clue time to talk. Thinks that are supportive and mutually agreed etc I think would be lauded as supportive partnership. The original post was at best a poorly thought out approach however, which is at least as likely to have the opposite impact than the one intended.

paulineb_2

She's eating junk food in secret. I think she needs a lot more support than the op can give her. A weekly swim won't make any difference until she sorts her attitude to food out.