Is there any way to motivate the missus to lose weight? Running out of ideas...

paulineb_2

I don't think the op has been torn apart. He's been challenged and not everyone is agreeing with him. The thread where women posted about overweight partners, not everyone agreed on that thread either. Some quite strong differences of opinion on that thread too. Recent thread.

Gigervamp

paulineb wrote: »

But if the junk food isn't around and you work out with her, it's a start.

She's the one buying (and hiding?) the junk food. OP has said a few times that they don't buy much junk when they do the shopping, but that his wife gets it on her way home from work.

So, how does OP address this?

Gra76

If I'd have known I'd be spending half my day trying to justify why I'm trying to help the missus out I'd not have bothered. For the record I've called her 'the missus' that ever since we got married, she calls me 'bloke', neither are 'derogatory terms' so I don't know where that's come from.

Next time I feel the need to post anything like this I'll post is as a female and bask in unequivocal support, limitless positive suggestions and multiple posters who will quite happily turn the tables on the male populace... I've no doubt that had I posted this as a woman saying it was my husband then there would have been plenty of namecalling aimed at the husband and zero at the wife. Turn it the other way and all of a sudden I'm the bad man for trying to help her when she asks for it. The double standards displayed dependant upon the sex of the OP is astounding. :rotfl:

paulineb_2

On the other thread the man needing to lose weight was 21 stones and it was having a massive effect on his life. Let's not turn this into men don't get support and women do. Two different threads.

FBaby

stardoman wrote: »

I'd prefer that he didn't say anything at all. I know what I look like, I don't need anyone to make me look at myself. Its very confrontational.

My husband makes me feel attractive, but if he did something like that I would feel like rubbish.

So if he was worried about your health or somehow didn't find you as attractive you would rather that he pretend he did and his true feelings to be ignored just because you would feel rubbish by his honestly? I told my husband soon after we met that there was no truth more hurtful than deceit. I can cope with anything he feels because at least I then have a choice to make a change or not. Thinking that he could feel himself rubbish just so that I don't wouldn't make me feel better. Of course there are then ways to say things.

FBaby

It's not about male vs female more likely overweight and self conscious vs not!

paulineb_2

It might make it easier to justify people's responses by saying I'm a man therefore I'm having a hard time. Lots of women post on the boards and are challenged if people don't agree with them.

Tink2

Gigervamp wrote: »

She's the one buying (and hiding?) the junk food. OP has said a few times that they don't buy much junk when they do the shopping, but that his wife gets it on her way home from work.

So, how does OP address this?

I'm not surprised she's hiding food from OP, his attitude towards her is appalling

He doesn't address it, she's the one who has to address it not OP

heartbreak_star

My opinion? The swimming costume thing would have thrown me straight back to bulimia.

OH isn't happy with his belly, and I utterly detest myself. So we got a joint gym membership, and go nearly every day. Also ticks the box of "doing more stuff together". We haven't really lost too much weight yet, but it's fun!

HBS x

emsywoo123

OP I agree with others that she may be saying that she wants to lose weight, but in all honesty it is overwhelming.

I tried everything to lose it but voila like a yoyo it would just suddenly appear back. :eek: The only way I lose and maintain that loss is when I am happy. Truly happy.

There is so much more to this than shock tactics or calorie counting.