My 15 year old daughter has been killed by a lorry

suejb2

My goodness I feel so sorry for you and your family I don't follow a faith but my thoughts are of you and Martha.
The post by "Max" is beautiful and offers comfort, the advise by others may prove helpful at some time.

Former_MSE_Andrea

So sorry to hear that gravitytolls. Our love and thoughts to you and your family from everyone at MSE Towers.

Take care xx

JCS1

I'm another one who couldn't just read without posting something.

I have nothing practical that I can add, but wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you, Martha, and all her family and friends.

xx

bylromarha

Oh Gravity. No words to say except how sorry I am to hear the tragic news about the death of your beautiful, funny, stroppy, opinionated, kind and wonderful daughter Martha.

Please please ring Cruse - they really helped my friend through the dark times when her son died suddenly of carbon monoxide poisoning - and they also were able to give support to the surviving siblings too.

Holding you and your family in my prayers xxx

newcook

Im so sorry to hear of your loss gravity - I lost my aunt earlier this year in a traffic accident and the whole she left in the lives of those who met her is massive. I cant even imagine what you are going through losing your daughter.

I visited a medium which I found quite comforting. I know its not everyones cup of tea but for me it helped a lot.

make sure you keep talking about her and tell funny stories, remember the good times x

Mojisola

4Chickens wrote: »

The third thing I suggested was that she bought a big book, preferably with a nice cover and binding to be her special book of memories but also a place she could go to to record her thoughts and feelings as time passed. When times got too difficult she could go back to this book for reassurance.

For Mum and Dad's 60th wedding anniversary we asked family and friends to contribute a page to a "book" - well, a loose-leaf folder. People sent photos of happy times and wrote down memories of good times.

Now they are both gone, I've found it a great comfort to get out and browse through - life has moved on but it's a record of their lives and the love that other people had for them so think about asking Martha's friends if they would do something similar.

wannabe_sybil

So sorry to hear of your loss of Martha.

Sending hugs and good wishes. Take care x

tesuhoha

Gravity

After reading your post last night I have been thinking about you a lot and feel I want to say something more. I haven't had the same experience but my best friend/neighbour has. She lost her handsome carefree son in a motorbike accident at the age of 25. This was a boy who had grown up alongside my own kids and although it was nearly three years ago I still feel the same sense of disbelief.

Anyway, for my friend and her family there was nothing that anyone could say to help but they took comfort in each other and extended family and friends. She kept in close contact with her friends and did not shut them out. She had plenty of ears to listen and I think it was a comfort to have chats and lots of hugs, lots of love from people. She talked about him endlessly and cried. I think that is what you need to do, keep talking about Martha and cry whenever you need to. Whether its with people or alone. Take all the love offered to you because people will want to give it.

It was a very difficult time but she made a huge celebration of her son's life and had framed pictures of him all over the house. Anything that could be made into a memento was treasured and kept. I haven't lived next door to her for 7 years now but I still see her for coffee/lunch. She is able to get on with things and works and even has a little happiness with her husband and other children. She talks about him a lot and cries because he will always be her son.

Looking back I don't know how she was so brave but I think she took it one day at a time. Nothing can help but other loved ones will be a comfort to you.

In the meantime this story might be of use to you. For some reason I thought of it when you said in your post you wanted to hear from other people who had lost children.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2268531/Mary-Berry-reveals-coped-sons-tragic-death.html

libra10

Thinking of you and your family at such a sad time.

Tropez

I was wary about replying to this thread as I know nothing about losing children and I cannot begin to imagine how much that hurts.

When I was a teenager I had a close female friend who passed away aged 16. She died from an illness that was very aggressive and a few weeks after being diagnosed she passed. To us it all seemed very sudden and shocking and a lot of us struggled to come to terms with it.

A few months after she passed on her mother shared with some of us her some pages from her diary which she'd kept right until the day she passed. She'd written things about all of us and what we meant to her. A few of us wrote some songs based on the things she said in there, to give her words a voice, I suppose.

Shortly after that her family rented a local Scout hall for the night and held a little tribute/memorial for her. We performed our songs that we had written based on what she said, some music she liked was played, there was some poetry (first time I heard the Mary Elizabeth Frye poem) and some story sharing, both happy and sad - lots of tears were shed but it was still a celebration of her life - and afterward a small collection to raise money for charities dealing with grief and the illness that took her life.

It obviously didn't bring her back but even though she wasn't there, it's a memory of her that we'll always have and as long as we have those memories she's still there. Because of that night, there's songs, colours and flowers that will always remind me of her.

I don't really expect this to hold any answers but it helped us, her friends, as well as her family through it.

I am sorry to hear about your loss.