Childcare worker's behaviour outside work?

meritaten

amus wrote: »

I was sworn at as a child and I absolutely hated it. All it did was make me rebel even more because it wound me up so much.

For this reason although I do swear quite a lot I never swear at my children and I never call them names, I am however quite strict.

As the adult in the relationship it is our responsibility to set the standards of acceptable behaviour, and calling children names and swearing at them does not do that.

^^^ yes, I totally agree. I was brought up in a time when a slap round the face for 'looking at me wrong' was acceptable. I vowed my kids wouldn't be subjected to that. I am human though and I HAVE shouted at them. Sworn, but not AT them. I don't like my mother much - I hope my kids like me.

PatientMummy

meritaten wrote: »

I understand that IrishRose - and believe that you wouldn't behave that way. But, if you think that your behaviour outside of work doesn't impact on your workplace, then please read your contract again. Because most employee contracts these days contain a clause that YOUR behaviour, IF IT impacts on your company in a negative way is cause for dismissal. My OHs does and I know that my most recent employers (in retail and hospitality) also had that clause.
I wasn't having a go at YOU - but your belief that your behaviour outside work is none of the employers business. it isn't so.

I used to be a teaching assistant in my daughters primary school 2 years ago and it never mentioned anything like that in my contract, I'm sure I have a copy of it somewhere if you would like to see it? I don't know where abouts IrishRose is from in Ireland but here where I live cursing is an everyday thing here and not uncommon at all. Infact its uncommon if you don't use a curse word at least twice a day. Your a posh snotty nose person if that's the case, and I'm sure they even let one slip now and again.

Oh and my parents used to swear at us when we were young, as do I now and again at my own kiddie winkles, didn't do us any harm, it depended on the voice and situation though, if itwas a yell an angry you knew to run, and if you got caught you knew not to do it again - or just not get caught next time :rotfl:
Same as my own ones now a days lol

By the sounds of it its a completely different way of life here, and I wouldn't change it or my own upbringing or that of my own chidren's upbringingn for the world.

poet123

I think Patient mummy and Irishrose are twins!!

*SuzySue*

PatientMummy wrote: »

Oh and my parents used to swear at us when we were young, as do I now and again at my own kiddie winkles, didn't do us any harm, it depended on the voice and situation though, if itwas a yell an angry you knew to run, and if you got caught you knew not to do it again - or just not get caught next time :rotfl:
Same as my own ones now a days lol

By the sounds of it its a completely different way of life here, and I wouldn't change it or my own upbringing or that of my own chidren's upbringingn for the world.

I hate that phrase.

Whereabouts are you? The 1900s?

pollypenny

I must be very old fashioned. I have never, ever sworn at my children or any other child. I have been cross and shouted, I have smacked them, once it was hard, to my shame.

But back to OP, this woman's reaction was excessive, shouting in someone's face and using the word 'psycho', which indicates a serious lack of control and raises alarm for her capabilities in the job.

kezzygirl

dandelionclock30 wrote: »

It doesnt seemed to have worked very well though does it with the amount of teachers getting struck off for assault and sexual abuse. Theres loads each year, not just one here or there.Anyway thats not the issue.

Regarding the woman, it sounds to me like shes got an anger problem which may be due to mental health issues like depression or bi polar or something elce.
I would think out of the box and give here employer some leaflets about where she can access some help. She's really not doing herself any favours losing control like this.
I'd just pass the leaflets on and say that you saw the woman and that she was upset and carrying on and she may find this helpfull. Then at least she knows where to go for help.
She shouldnt be behaving like that at all. But to me it sounds like shes got wider issues that need addressing. Obviously she doesnt want to be getting into trouble in the community or at work really.

You are kidding, right? are you telling me that because a woman gets gobby its because she has bipolar or depression?!

Do all people who have bipolar and depression get verbally abusive and have anger issues?-NO, they don't! People with bipolar et al are more likely to be victims of anger and violent outbursts, not perpetrators. No wonder the mh population get such a bad name if there are wrongly-informed attitudes and opinions being banded around internet forums!disgusting.

whodathunkit

PatientMummy wrote: »

I used to be a teaching assistant in my daughters primary school 2 years ago and it never mentioned anything like that in my contract, I'm sure I have a copy of it somewhere if you would like to see it? I don't know where abouts IrishRose is from in Ireland but here where I live cursing is an everyday thing here and not uncommon at all. Infact its uncommon if you don't use a curse word at least twice a day. Your a posh snotty nose person if that's the case, and I'm sure they even let one slip now and again.

Oh and my parents used to swear at us when we were young, as do I now and again at my own kiddie winkles, didn't do us any harm, it depended on the voice and situation though, if itwas a yell an angry you knew to run, and if you got caught you knew not to do it again - or just not get caught next time :rotfl:
Same as my own ones now a days lol

By the sounds of it its a completely different way of life here, and I wouldn't change it or my own upbringing or that of my own chidren's upbringingn for the world.

Well, at least you've learned something now about what is and what isn't acceptable behaviour, so joining MSE hasn't been a waste for you.;)

kezzygirl

In response to the op, yes, have a word with the manager-definately!

To those who are saying there is nothing wrong with the play assistants outburst, I sincerely hope you don't have kids. Children are little sponges for information, a few years of mummy behaving like that and we end up with a hooligan child and a messed up adult eventually.

Irishrose-you ought to think long and hard about your career if you 'have' to be nice to children. If you were educated about this (which by the sounds of it, you obviously are not) you would know that children pick up an awful lot of cues by body language, attitude and 'sensing' peoples feelings and emotional responses. Thank goodness you never looked after my child....you should be ashamed of yourself.

Georgiegirl256

kezzygirl wrote: »

You are kidding, right? are you telling me that because a woman gets gobby its because she has bipolar or depression?!

Do all people who have bipolar and depression get verbally abusive and have anger issues?-NO, they don't! People with bipolar et al are more likely to be victims of anger and violent outbursts, not perpetrators. No wonder the mh population get such a bad name if there are wrongly-informed attitudes and opinions being banded around internet forums!disgusting.

I missed that post that you've quoted above....talk about a generalisation! OMG! If that's the case then I think the majority of us must have bipolar then!

On another note, to those who swear around their children, do you swear in front of them, or at them? Neither is right IMO, but there's a big difference. My Mam used to sometimes swear in front of me....but never at me.

PatientMummy

poet123 wrote: »

I think Patient mummy and Irishrose are twins!!

Why is that? Because I am not jumping down her throat, calling her a bad mother, telling her she should be ashamed of herself because of how she brings up her children? We don't know anything about her or the girl who the op was talking about, so how can any of us judge them on what or who they are and whether they are good parents or not? J
What some people on here need to look at is how you have spoken to a parent on here. So she swears in front of her children, the same as I do may I add. You are judging, her, myself and the girl in the original post on being bad parents bad role models and those two girls have been told they are not worthy to work with children! For all you know those two girls are the kindest most patient people I their places of work.
What I find funny is the fact that you seem to think that the staff in your schools or nurseries etc dont put on an act to parents sometimes, you all obviously think teachers etc are stupid. You obviously don't know about teacher's pets and the ones they can't take to. Nor do you know about staffroom conversations about the parents who are up complaining about the stupid things or seeking attention. Try working in these settings for 2 years or so then come back and let us know how that no acting is getting on. Anyone working in these types of jobs be they secretaries or the principal, and they say this is not the case are liars. I've worked in plenty of schools over the years and its the same everywhere you go.
So to tell someone they are a disgrace, that they should be ashamed if themselves when you know absolutely nothing about them their upbringing their life, says a lot about you.
I thought this was a forum for opinions and advice, not a forum for attacking people when you don't agree with them, to put someone down, to single someone out or to bully somone when you don't know nothing about them. Dear me, you must be so proud of yourselves. And to think that you claim to be perfect parents who don't swear or don't want anyone else to near your little darlings. My goodness me welcome to the real world.