Childcare worker's behaviour outside work?

poet123

PatientMummy wrote: »

Why is that? Because I am not jumping down her throat, calling her a bad mother, telling her she should be ashamed of herself because of how she brings up her children?

No, because you seem to come from the same background, have worked in the same setting, behave the same way, and write in a similar manner.;)

PatientMummy wrote: »

We don't know anything about her or the girl who the op was talking about, so how can any of us judge them on what or who they are and whether they are good parents or not?

We can only go on the information given and yes, I think we can make a pretty good assessment of her personal traits based on that.

PatientMummy wrote: »

What some people on here need to look at is how you have spoken to a parent on here. So she swears in front of her children, the same as I do may I add. You are judging, her, myself and the girl in the original post on being bad parents bad role models and those two girls have been told they are not worthy to work with children!

We are commenting, this is a discussion forum. If you or she take it as judgement that is a by product. I doubt anyone could put forward a cogent argument to support a positive effect on children by being sworn at by their parents. Try it. Can you really think of a good side to it?

PatientMummy wrote: »

For all you know those two girls are the kindest most patient people I their places of work.

I doubt it, as you say people are more likely to behave in their true character in their free time, and if you have such little self control it cannot be switched on and off so easily.

PatientMummy wrote: »

What I find funny is the fact that you seem to think that the staff in your schools or nurseries etc dont put on an act to parents sometimes, you all obviously think teachers etc are stupid.

I am not sure how you arrived at that conclusion, I work in education, my eldest son is a teacher.

PatientMummy wrote: »

You obviously don't know about teacher's pets and the ones they can't take to. Nor do you know about staffroom conversations about the parents who are up complaining about the stupid things or seeking attention. Try working in these settings for 2 years or so then come back and let us know how that no acting is getting on. Anyone working in these types of jobs be they secretaries or the principal, and they say this is not the case are liars.

2 years or so? I have been in education a lot, lot, longer than that.;) Yes, staff !!!!! in the staffroom, yes, some parents try our patience, but being professional is about dealing with such instances in a proper manner not "acting" a part. In any event, none of that is relevant to the issue in question.

PatientMummy wrote: »

I've worked in plenty of schools over the years and its the same everywhere you go.
So to tell someone they are a disgrace, that they should be ashamed if themselves when you know absolutely nothing about them their upbringing their life, says a lot about you.

I am perfectly happy that my stance on swearing at children does indeed say a lot about me.

PatientMummy wrote: »

I thought this was a forum for opinions and advice, not a forum for attacking people when you don't agree with them, to put someone down, to single someone out or to bully somone when you don't know nothing about them. Dear me, you must be so proud of yourselves. And to think that you claim to be perfect parents who don't swear or don't want anyone else to near your little darlings. My goodness me welcome to the real world.

No one is attacking anyone, most of the posts have simply said that they disagree with swearing in front of or at young children and their parents. That the woman in the OP is not a role model, or someone most parents would want looking after their children. You disagree, for your own reasons, that is fine. You are perfectly entitled to do that.

You, on the other hand are attacking those who disagree with you, calling them bullies or liars, which is not particularly nice, but like you, other posters are also perfectly entitled to express their views.

Carmina-Piranha_2

IrishRose12 wrote: »

Not to make it seem like this is an excuse, but you could have a point there TBH.

It is quite normal in our family and in our circle of friends. Where I live it's a normal thing to hear and not unusual. I do draw the line at the children cursing though.

Although I have to say also, I have family in England and it's not uncommon there either to hear curse words to be used, not just in the family home may I add. I did learn not to say frig there though as that's apparently a really bad word yet it's an everyday word here.

Why? If adults cursing is 'normal' why wouldn't you accept it from children? Just curious.

msb5262

PatientMummy wrote: »

I used to be a teaching assistant in my daughters primary school 2 years ago and it never mentioned anything like that in my contract, I'm sure I have a copy of it somewhere if you would like to see it? I don't know where abouts IrishRose is from in Ireland but here where I live cursing is an everyday thing here and not uncommon at all. In fact it's uncommon if you don't use a curse word at least twice a day. You're a posh snotty nose person if that's the case, and I'm sure they even let one slip now and again.

Oh and my parents used to swear at us when we were young, as do I now and again at my own kiddie winkles, didn't do us any harm, it depended on the voice and situation though, if it was a yell an angry you knew to run, and if you got caught you knew not to do it again - or just not get caught next time :rotfl:
Same as my own ones now a days lol.

Is it just me who finds the bit in bold quite rude? I will admit to swearing pretty often but I don't usually call other people "posh snotty nose" ... it's not necessary. It's ironic to call people rude names because they might not use swear words!

Carmina-Piranha_2

I'm curious about which part of England you live in, Patientmummy? As I said, I live on a council estate in the Midlands and swearing is not 'normal' here, unless you're a guest on the Jeremy Kyle show.

Swearing aside, I would be more concerned that she called a small child a psycho than the expletives that preceded the word psycho.

mumps

poet123 wrote: »

I wonder if this is an Irish thing? Some friends of ours went to a wedding in Ireland last year and she was astounded at the way the f word (although said as f e c k)) was so routinely used. I have been to Ireland a few times though and never encountered it, but she said in the family setting of the wedding it peppered the conversation regardless of who was there.

What an offensive thing to say. Some Irish people swear, some English people swear in the Irish side of my family swearing is something that does not happen.

I have worked with women who are sex workers. They were all English so do you think that is something English, you know English women think that is OK? An American friend of mine came here as a child, her uncle cried and said to her mother, "Don't let her mix with English girls, they will go with anyone for a pair of nylons." He was stationed here during WWII. Funny how stereotype get spread.

whodathunkit

mumps wrote: »

What an offensive thing to say. Some Irish people swear, some English people swear in the Irish side of my family swearing is something that does not happen.

I have worked with women who are sex workers. They were all English so do you think that is something English, you know English women think that is OK? An American friend of mine came here as a child, her uncle cried and said to her mother, "Don't let her mix with English girls, they will go with anyone for a pair of nylons." He was stationed here during WWII. Funny how stereotype get spread.

Except that the Irish poster(s) have agreed that this is more normal where they come from.

poet123

mumps wrote: »

What an offensive thing to say. Some Irish people swear, some English people swear in the Irish side of my family swearing is something that does not happen.

I have worked with women who are sex workers. They were all English so do you think that is something English, you know English women think that is OK? An American friend of mine came here as a child, her uncle cried and said to her mother, "Don't let her mix with English girls, they will go with anyone for a pair of nylons." He was stationed here during WWII. Funny how stereotype get spread.

It certainly wasn't meant to be offensive and in fact the Irish person on the thread said it might be pertinent. It doesn't surprise me though that you picked me up on it. You rarely miss a chance to do that!

Anyway, the comment was in no way similar to the situations you describe. Using the word f e c k is commonplace in Ireland, just as it is portrayed in Mrs Brown's Boys, that may be exaggerated but it has a basis in fact. It was just an observation.

paulineb_2

Well I'm Scottish and I wouldn't be offended if people thought Scottish people swore a lot. Some do. I know teachers who swear. But they don't swear in front of their classes. I used to work with young people. I'd be lying if I said I never swear. But the difference is, I don't swear in the workplace. I never swore at a young person in my life, got lots of it the other way round, but that's part of the job.

Some people swear more than others. I don't walk around saying the eff word after every other word. I hear people on a daily basis who do (and it would surprise you sometimes the people who swear. I go swimming quite a lot and sometimes if there are a group of older men in the pool and they are talking loudly, you hear the eff word every few words).

Its where and when you do the swearing and what context it's in that matters. I do know in some jobs that you can be disciplined for certain things that happen outside it, Ive known people to be sacked for things that happened on a night out for example.

If I had been on a day off and met a young person I worked with, I won't have sworn in conversation just because I happened to be off duty. The difference in this incident described on the first page is that this was directly at a young person and it was witnessed by people who had a connection to the employer. There could be other staff doing similar, but you've just not seen it. Or not as the case may be.

Would I think someone was suffering from depression or had mental health issues because of one incident? No. But I might think that person was suffering from stress, because when you react to that like a child when you work with kids day in and day out, well the signs are that something isn't right.

IrishRose12

I am sensing that I am being accused of having 2 accounts on here and I resent and am offended of that accusation (yes that's what it is) Why would I feel the need to set up a second account?? The fact that I can't anyway is another matter.

I think it's a matter of agreeing to disagree on it, it's normal in the area I live in, it has always been normal in our family and our large circle of friends. I don't and never have lived in a council estate, and even if I did, so what?? The majority of you don't agree with me, OK.
What I do want to state quite clearly that here where I lie cursing doesn't mean it's in a bad manner. It's done in a joking way, in an angry way, in light-hearted humor and in sayings eg you f***ing eejit.

I have never once stated on this thread that I have swore in front of the children in my work, and I never in my life will do this.

But to be told that I am in the wrong profession, to be told I don't like my own children, and to be told I should be ashamed of myself. THAT'S NOT ON. You people don't know me from atom. You don't know anything about me, and you know nothing about my children and you know nothing about my work I do, but that gives no-one the right to tell me that I am in the wrong profession, that I should be ashamed of myself as I have nothing to be ashamed about.

But I'll leave on this last note. PatientMummy is right, if you honestly think that staff in a school don't put on an act at times, then that's just laughable. There are children or parents that teachers and assistants just can't take to, but we don't let that feeling show and we are professional about it. (Well most of us are) There are also lots of children/parents whom teachers think that the sun shines out of their rear end, these are usually the children/parents I can't take to. I am the one who has the soft spot for the children who teachers can't be bothered about. I.E the disruptive ones, the wee weak ones, the ones who the teacher has a dislike to and they never get picked for anything. I'm the one who helps to teach them to skip in the playground when other children won't play with them, and I am the one who will help them make friends when they don't have any, and I am the one who will give them a cuddle when they are upset or scared. I'm the one who pays for a child's milk money out of my own pocket when their parents don't bother reading the notes, and I'm the one who pays for a school dinner when a child has no money with them. I'm the one who has extra underwear in the drawer when it's needed and I'm the one who picks up school shoes when they are on sale for when shoes break in school and parents can't afford to replace them! ]
AND this is for EVERY CHILD I have in my class, not just certain children.

So don't EVER tell me that I am in the wrong profession and I should be ashamed of myself, as I have nothing to be ashamed of! I am proud of the job that I do, and I am proud of helping those children who the teachers didn't take notice of. I am also proud of my parents for bringing me up the way they did, and I am proud of my children and the fact that they have manners and respect for their elders. Things that not many children are taught and grow up with these days.

venetianlagoon

I didn't take any offence and I'm Irish but I live in England now, I think it is more common to swear in the family home over there than here. I wasn't sworn at as a child though, but I lived on a street where I heard it all the time.


Not good for a school employee though and I would hate my kids to be around it the way I was. When I go back home I cringe sometimes. Am I posh and snotty nosed then?